Posts by Jackie Clark
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And it's the (in)ability to read those nuances that makes the difference between a charming rake and a dirty old man.
And my inability to codify this in some kind of bullet-pointed form really disturbs me. You just know. At one point at the Great Blend I believe I left Bart, staggered out to Jackie and said, "Safe flirt. Brilliant."
Oh, I love safe flirting, I do it all the time. And it isn't quantifiable, I don't think. You do just know these things - one of the many advantages of much sexual experience is that you know when something isn't going to lead you down the paths you used to tread so lightly, and so often. Although I do remember saying to Emma that there were a number of PAS men that if I were younger and not married, and they were not married either, I would have been jumping some bones that night.
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Hold the presses. I have just one sordid encounter that's vaguely funny in hindsight. 20 years old, at a party, picked up this guy who was not entirely a manly man, shall we say. Went back to mine. Wasn't even slightly interested in him, the sex act was shit - to the point that he stopped, with tears in his eyes, and said "I think you've ripped my penis open". Cue horror stricken me, a walk to Auckland hospital of about 30 minutes, and a wait of another couple of hours. For a bloke who wasn't all that much into girls, who I didn't fancy, who wasn't good at sex anyway. Oh that isn't funny, that's just pathetic.
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Sordid stories, I have a few. But all of my sordid adventures make me cringe, so I won't indulge, I'll just listen quietly to everyone else's.
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If there were lurkers, they were having fun.
I'm sure they were, Ben, but it was anonymous fun. Not on.
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Yes, Mark. Where were you? Not lurking, I hope.
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So is Jackie a better photographer than Steve, or was she just less hungover?
Need you ask? I am a paragon of virtue, no hangover to be found. Now, I want to see Fiona's photos. She took what looked like some very interesting shots.
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Hi, Mummy Gracewood, I just wanted to tell you, and I'm sorry I didn't on the night, how fantastic I think your family is. Really. And I am so sorry about your lovely husband. Big hugs and mwahs from me to you.
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Yes, thanks, Malcolm. That was a wonderful tour. And here are my photos of the lovely old girl.
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Yes, Mr 3410 - make sure it happens. I did have a try at going up to everyone and saying "Who are you?" but being the shy retiring type I am I soon had to give up on that shit.
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Actually feeling okay this morning, possibly out of relief that my most full-on week of the year is done.
I may be ever so slightly younger than you but please, hear this in a kindly aunt's voice. REST, you silly bugger.