Posts by Jackie Clark
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Thanks for putting those photos in, Jolisa. It's nice to put faces to the boys antics.
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Islander, I admire you in your auntyhood. My sister in law Mahina was like that with all the kids. Such a good aunt. I meant to comment on Giovanni's Nana, and her age. I don't know that comparing us to them is entirely useful, Giovanni. Simply because they lived somewhat different lives. I have taught many Somalian children and their mummies all were married at 12 and 13, and mothers by 15 or so. Just because it is so doesn't make it right, does it? I'm not a great believer in things being they way they are just because that's how they have always been.
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I'm glad of that, Sofie. Sometimes I feel like a dinosaur, and it's probably because I'm not a parent that I'm overly anxious with the current crop of teens in my family. There are 16 nieces and nephews, and all but the last 5 are now well grown up. And those last 5 are now thrusting into adolescence. Eek!
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As a child I was a completely different person from what I was at sixteen, with different tools and subject to different drives. I wasn't an adult, no, but much closer to an adult than to a child.
Of course. A young woman. Not technically a child. See, this is why I would never, ever be a mother. And it may be the reason my teenaged nieces and nephews think I'm a bit stink. Because I sit on them. As I've said before, the kids are aghast that I won't let them do stuff even mum and dad will. And why am I such a stern horrid aunt? Because teenagers do some dumb stuff - most of the time, they don't know any better or really do not have the critical faculty to assess risk and consequence.And developmentally, adolescence is a time when human beings are all about taking risks and pushing boundaries. I agree with some of you that some adults are very immature, and some kids are mature beyond their years. Doesn't mean that they all are though.
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Emma, I ache for the 16 year old you. I knew that you would have some tales to tell and I had some idea that they would be fairly hairy, but no young woman should have to go through having a crossbow pointed at her head - and then you say you went through worse. You say
This is sixteen to me. When people talk about teenagers as if they're children this is what I think about.
I talk about teenagers as children because that is what they are, essentially, to me. That some of those children, like you, live through horrendous scenarios, makes them no less children. No child should ever have a life where this shit happens to them, and no child should ever be put in a position where they are forced to make decisions that essentially are adult ones. There are a lot of teenagers who live independently of their families either because they choose to, or because they have to. I accept that. I just wish that they didn't have to. That you hadn' t had to.
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TVNZ Ondemand is getting some good stuff up there. They've started putting up concerts - only Frank Sinatra and James Blunt so far, but it will be interesting to see what else they come up with.
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considering that at age 16 one can enter into a (supposedly) life-long commitment, legally create people, be jailed for "life", and drive a lethal weapon on the public roads, I would've thought being able to vote was a far less serious right.
Exactly. My thoughts are that, really, 16 year olds shouldn't really be allowed to do any of that either.
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I don't buy any argument that a bunch of people of a certain type are not right-minded. It's not a qualification we apply over 18, so I don't see why we should apply it under 18.
How low do you think is reasonable? There are plenty of nousey 12 year olds around.
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Oh, I meant to say - has anyone read the book by John Elder Robison? He's Augusten Burroughs' older brother and was not diagnosed with Aspergers till he was 13 ( I think?). The book is called Look Me in the Eye. Very interesting chappie - his facebook is here
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I've taught many children on the autistic spectrum - some diagnosed officially, some not at all. I just want to take my hats off to all you parents who have children on this spectrum. Communication is such an important part of being human - and it entails such a lot. Knowing about verbal and nonverbal cues, being comfortable in a group of other people. Connection with other human beings is so important, and I know people on the spectrum find that sense of connection difficult sometimes. How frustrating that must be. And for children on the autism spectrum, how hard it is for parents to get proper help. Many will never, ever get help at kindy or school. And for teachers, it is often frustrating when a child hasn't been diagnosed, but you know. You just do. As Finn did. I remember one child I taught very clearly, who I was convinced was on the autism spectrum. He had an ESW at kindy for behavioural "issues" but when it was time to go to school, his parents wouldn't allow the GSE to make his school aware of any problems. I often wonder how he is getting on, and if his parents realised how difficult his life would be in a place with so many different people, who may as well have been aliens to him, for all the sense he made of other children. If only they had allowed us to arrange some help for him. And I deal with families like this at least a couple of times a year. So I am even more admiring of those parents, who fight hard for their kids to have an education that suits them, and to get the extra help that they may need to ensure that they have a happy and fulfilled life. For none of us is that a guarantee but every little bit helps.