Posts by TracyMac
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Apropos Mr Edwards, I'd like to assert with quite a lot of vehemence that an absent father figure is much better than a fucked-up violent abusive one. (And so too with the reverse gender)
Also, my mother modelled a perfectly standard feminine gender role - I'm still (fairly) butch. My sisters are as girly as hell. How many camp gay men had camp fathers?
*crickets*
In fact, some queer people I know who had queer parents had some real struggles with their own identity because they didn't want to be just like mum. Who does?
As for drug testing, you know, I'm kind of ok with it in some respects and not others. With alcohol, there's a fairly standard agreed figure (.05 internationally) where there is "impairment" (very mild, but still, it's a figure). Now, being stoned off your face is not the best way to drive (it's not just about reaction times - there's a thing called situational awareness), but pot remains in your system for ages without your being impaired by any stretch of the definition.
I don't like the idea of a scheme that's supposedly about road safety being used as a fishing expedition for drug use. If they determined an actual figure for cannabis use (and LSD, E, whatever) where the average punter would be mildly impaired, then fine. As far as I know, if it's a positive result, you get done for "driving under the influence" whether or not you're actually being influenced.
Don't eat those poppy seed rolls before driving! Or have they actually sorted out the false positive to opiates problem?
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Oh, and regarding tigers and orgasms, that's why I'm a lesbian (and towards the butchy end of the spectrum). As soon as I get my jollies, yep, it's good night, nurse. Shame that I haven't fulfilled my reproductive functions when I zonk out and get taken by the tiger, but that's what happens with us non-furthering-the-human-race types (although, heck, three of my exes have had babies in the last 5 years and another one is planning to - what is going wrong???).
(Also, evo psych, 90% blergh. I feel sorry for anyone who got into the field out of genuine scientific interest only to be swamped by crackpot sociobiologists)
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@Paul - yes, I'll agree with Jack that while the outer bicep is still ouchy when tattoo'd, it's certainly less so than a couple of areas running perpendicular pretty much in the middle part of the underarm (where you can most strongly feel your humerus when pressing in that area - I assume there are a couple of nerves heading towards the hand). And yes, the line work hurts more than the shading.
As for tattooists, alas, I've been away from Auckland over a decade now, so can't recommend anyone. I got my work done by the late Phil Matthais at Dermagraphics in Ponsonby. Given the quality of the art on the website at present, I don't think they're at their peak right now.
Also as Jack says, the pain is fairly transient, although I couldn't go hour and hours of tattooing. When I got my arm-band - nothing like a full sleeve - I necked homeopathic Arnica tincture over the four hours (in two sessions) it took to do, which I'm sure helped. While some tattooists seem to have religious objections, if I had major work done (I'm planning to get a back piece), I'd totally get some EMLA cream or other lidocaine cream. Then again, it is location-specific - a tattoo on my outer thigh didn't hurt at all.
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Entitlement Bitches have no age. First cohort of boomers heading into their pension years?
Also, there's that particular type who are all about "I've always done whatever the fuck I want to do" and become more evil about it with age.
And word about cigarette butts. I HATE THEM - they're still bloody non-degradeable rubbish - THROW THEM AWAY. I haven't looked at cig packets in NZ over the last few years, but I'm sure the only purpose of those revolting pictures on the Australian ones is to gross out unsuspecting passers-by who happen to spot someone's smoking detritus. It certainly doesn't seem to stop people from smoking the fags contained in the horrible things. And, honestly, if people don't know now that smoking causes all manner of horrible things, they've been living in a cave for the past 40 years. Surely a simple "Smoking can seriously screw up your health" will suffice (and keep the buggers out of immediate display).
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@Jack - I'm with you on the tattoo pain. Inside of the bicep - ow ow ow ow. And the shin, actually, yes (I was also mildly sunburned when I had a tattoo around my calf, so perhaps not the best time!)
I also get the old endorphin buzz from getting piercings done. Ok, only 4 "significant" piercings so far, but I have had a couple in a more sensitive area upsized to 10ga, so I think that counts effectively as another piercing.
"Play piercings" are something I'd like to try (on myself and others), while I certainly understand the enjoyment low-level pain over a sustained period can bring. It's nice to add ways of giving people pleasure to one's repertoire, whether it's being good at meeean massages, "mean" other things, or cooking mean meals. :-)
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Getting back to Lomborg, when the science ethics committee of the person's country dismisses their work so comprehensively, it seems that individual perhaps might not be the best authority on the subject in questions. The Danish Science Ministry voided the committee's report (which seems like it could have been more detailed), but the committee retorted by saying even if they did re-examine the matter, their conclusions would be the same. There's still argy-bargy about it in the science community in Denmark. In any case, Scientific American does a nice round-up of the the problems with Lomborg's cherry-picking of climate studies (and statistics cited within those studies) and, erm, selective interpretations he draws from that restricted dataset.
And the part where he asserts that the 5 billion people on this planet are incapable of tackling more than one issue at at time? Well, that's already been sporked here, deservedly so.
Finally, regarding the strange US propaganda about the various forms of universal healthcare, not to be all teenager about it *cough*, but I maded a Facebook group for those in favour. Please join if you feel inspired.
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Oh, while I was riffing off Peter's statement, I wasn't at all attempting to impugne his ethics at all -- more the kind of "professionals" who would assert in a public forum that people should "get therapy -- or kill themselves". Charming. And kind of not a great indication of their particular ethical stance.
Getting back to the pain part, quite a lot of BDSM is done quite painlessly, and as I mentioned, quite a bit more is at the level of a deep massage (or a deep something else, if you know what I mean and I'm sure you do). Seriously. Then there's the more hard-core stuff. Like you know, those kinds of people who go skinny-dipping in the middle of winter in the South Island. ;-) There is definitely "good" pain and "bad" pain, and how that is experienced depends very much on context and, as you say, our individual selves.
But it's one of those things that you may not truly know until you try it, and the imagery that you often get (people wearing strange accoutrements chained up with sharp objects sticking out of them), and the associations (stubbing my toe f#cking hurts -- how can that be pleasurable?) means that quite often we see no need to try BDSM, unless we have a strong desire for it (like people who have a high sex drive) or a partner introduces us to it in the right context.
Personally, I'm glad to have had the latter happen to me, but if you asked me 15 years ago, I would have been saying things like, "I don't get it and I never will." In fact, I did say things like that. Oh well, "never say never" isn't now my favourite motto for nothing. Also, I finally realised that kink is like every other kind of sexuality -- you take the bits that work for you. I'm personally not much into domination/submission, but I'll whack the hell out of someone as long as they and I are enjoying it. It took me a while to realise that it wasn't actually compulsory to have someone crawling around the floor begging for my attention and calling me "Mistress/Master" (blergh) for me to get to the fun whacky part. For others, crawling around the floor is the fun part, and "sensation play" is not on the menu. Obviously a person like that and I are not a match made in heaven!
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Depends on how good and honest a researcher they are. A good scientist follows the data, so that person may get their mind changed both by engaging with the community and studying it.
Erm, if someone is making pronouncements like the one mentioned, it seems fairly likely that their interpretation of the data is at least somewhat conditioned by their own prejudices. I might make an exception for those talking about murdering psychopaths or compulsive pedophiles, but in terms of making a statement like that as a professional in whatever area, WTF?
I also feel quite doubtful when people imply that scientists, "good" or otherwise, are somehow immune to bias. In my experience, the good scientists admit their bias and take that into account when carrying out and presenting their research.
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Getting back to the gratitude thing, learning how to express it appropriately (in context, for that person) is a skill. And I'm, er, grateful to everyone who likes practising it.
Regarding endorphins, when people hear a word like "flogging", they normally go AAHHHH at the thought. But actually, a mild to moderate beating like that is very similar to a vigorous massage. And, hey, it's nice to see people all mellowed out and/or giggly afterwards. Wonderful things, our bodies.
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It is very much a part of the culture that the sub's happiness is the Dom(me)'s responsibility. The reverse, not so much.
Some more "yeah, but" here. That is very true. However, being an unresponsive sub/bottom is generally regarded as a negative as well - they should be giving something back to to the top.
I relate to this in both the kink sense and the butch dyke sense. I very much feel responsible for pleasing my partner in terms of getting them off. While I don't require that as much myself (although, hello, I do like to get off at some point), they do need to demonstrate their appreciation for my efforts and appear to be concerned for my satisfaction as well.
I suppose it boils down to the fact the top is actively doing something to ensure the bottom's satisfaction (and of course, is being trusted not to cock it up), while all a bottom needs to do, often, is be appropriately responsive. And honest about what s/he wants.