Whenever I meet an attractive young Public Address reader of the female persuasion, the conversation seems to follow the same depressing pattern. She flutters her eyelashes coyly at me, rearranges her dress a little more tightly over her lithe teenage body, and murmurs softly: “Do you have Russell Brown’s phone number? I want to ask him if he has a girlfriend at the moment.”

Sometimes they also add: “Oh, and tell Damian Christie that my Nana thinks he’s __hot!__”

It's heartbreaking having to inform them that -- although he denies it -- Russell is originally from Timaru. At that point, the conversation usually dies a natural death. But, occasionally, they linger to ask me a few questions.

“Are you the one who wrote that Learning English with the Browns thing? What was with that? I just so didn’t get it. Neither did anyone I know. I mean, was it meant to be funny or serious? Can you explain what it was about?”

Such comments lead me to wonder if my linguistic genius is truly appreciated. Of course ‘Learning English with the Browns’ was serious! Literally millions of people around the world have written to tell me how it has totally changed their lives.

In fact, thanks to Fräulein Katie ‘Malibu’ Drager, there is now even an audio version (see above).