Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Food and drink

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  • Russell Brown,

    Proposal for entertainment at next PAS gathering: put Giovanni in a room and force him to watch as someone prepares a Genuine Kiwi Pizza c.1980.

    I think this one will do the trick. =l

    Heh. A-heh heh heh heh heh ...

    The page even has a misplaced apostrophe:

    Kid's territory! All their favourites on one pizza – you can't go wrong.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Proposal for entertainment at next PAS gathering: put Giovanni in a room and force him to watch as someone prepares a Genuine Kiwi Pizza c.1980.

    Do it to Julia! Er, I mean, to Brickley. Seriously, though, what have I done? (And besides, I'm rather more horrified by last night's food in a minute cannelloni than by all the tinned spaghetti in the world.)

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Danielle,

    I'm rather more horrified by last night's food in a minute cannelloni than by all the tinned spaghetti in the world.

    Dude. Have you had Watties tinned spaghetti? It is absolutely horrendous. I'm not being snobby here, either, because you can pry my Watties baked beans from my cold dead hands, but that spaghetti is like... amoebic slime or something. Shudder.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    I'm not saying it would taste as bad, I just find it more offensive.

    Here's the recipe, if you can call it that. Everything's premade, including the fabulously named Wattie’s Just Add Cottage Pie Simmer Sauce.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Okay, here's the actual recipe. Clearly my subconscious is trying to sabotage the whole thing.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Call any vegetable by name...

    I looked quite carefully, but it seems like nobody has yet mentioned "totalitarian lentils". Tragic.

    As we all know Garden is (for good reasons) an anagram of Danger! - yes! it's a jungle out there...

    ..and yet we have sadly omitted from the new nomenclature of food culture yer common or garden Despotatoes (informally: Dick Taters) and their fractional offshoot faction Fascist Fries... (coated in a Reliable Red Sauce)
    A tasty treat with Blue-Collar Cheese and Plebeian Peas with Lashings of Greens and The Great Unwashed Mashes, natch!

    yrs hungrily
    Bon Vivant
    The Kitsch In Synch

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Danielle,

    Despotatoes/Dick Taters! Snerk!

    Can we give Ian some sort of PAS trophy?

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    <quote>Disclosure: I currently have chicken drumsticks steeping in a purchased teriyaki marinade. I'm thinking seasoned rice and green beans with that.<quote>

    That's it Russell. I'm moving to the top of the list of people who will be up against the wall after the food [not "in a minute"!] revolution.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • Joe Wylie,

    Call any vegetable by name...

    Ooh, and the chances are good
    that the vegetable will respond to you

    How about this? Is it real food? There's even purple potato paste, if you scroll down a bit.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hilary Stace,

    3410 - spooky synchronicity. At the exact moment you were posting about that baked bean and chip pizza I was in a waiting room reading an article in an old woman's weekly about Alyson Gofton's dislike of that specific recipe - which was not her choice

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report

  • Tom Semmens,

    I make Welsh rarebit with Wattie's Spaghetti and left-over sliced sausages, and a damn fine thing it is!

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2217 posts Report

  • Amy Gale,

    The people's pizza base ain't bread
    It's more a scone-type dough instead
    Inside your Sunday roasting pan
    With pineapple out of a can

    So bake that pizza, bake it good
    The people's pizza, like you should
    And though a kilo's far too dear
    Some cheddar cheese is great on here

    We do not want bourgeois legumes
    Nor basil pesto's garlic fumes
    We do not trust your foreign cheese
    Just honest kiwi tucker, please

    So bake that pizza, bake it good
    The people's pizza, like you should
    Through Gio's flinch and Danielle's tear
    We'll keep the red spag flowing here

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report

  • Martin Lindberg,

    Ooh, and the chances are good
    that the vegetable will respond to you

    10 points awarded for Mothers of Invention reference. Now, where can I go to get my jeans embroidered?

    Stockholm • Since Jul 2009 • 802 posts Report

  • 3410,

    Alyson Gofton's dislike of that specific recipe

    Well, the reviews are glowing. For instance:

    if you are looking for a total junk food pig out on a pizza, then this one is a winner.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report

  • Amy Gale,

    How about this? Is it real food? There's even purple potato paste, if you scroll down a bit.

    Hey, don't be dissin' the frozen purees. They're excellent for when you want to make broccoli mousse, broccoli pate de fruits, broccoli buttercream...

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Dude. Have you had Watties tinned spaghetti? It is absolutely horrendous. I'm not being snobby here, either, because you can pry my Watties baked beans from my cold dead hands, but that spaghetti is like... amoebic slime or something. Shudder.

    heh - we're hosting an AFS student for a year, she's from Switzerland (speaks better English than most people I know too). SHe was warned about our food by an Italian AFS student she met who'd been hosted in sunny Invercargill.

    After a few weeks of meals deemed barely edible (I don't have details), her host family announced a special treat for their visitor - pasta!

    And that's how our Swiss exchange student came to NZ armed with fears of being served something called "Watties' Spaghetti".

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    Personally, I think food tastes much better if I cook it over natural gas I've prepared myself.

    This does tend to add to the preparation time, as you have to get organised and lay down your biomass base several million years in advance. But the results are worth it.

    My preferred mixture is around 40/40 deciduous and evergreen (doesn't matter which species - I'm not some sort of food fanatic!), with the remaining 20% made up of a mix of switchgrass, hemp, corn, sorghum, and sugarcane - the exact ratio of these depending on what I'm cooking. I normally add a pinch of chilli and perhaps some coriander, too.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    Amy Gale: magnificent.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Foodie verse...

    We'll keep the red spag flowing here

    Pizza de Resistance!
    Well done Amy, fine words to eat indeed!
    You shall go to the Meat Ball!!

    yrs
    Pasta Hisused-Bydate
    Humbled Pie Eater

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Joe Wylie,

    More Crumb food.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    And that's how our Swiss exchange student came to NZ armed with fears of being served something called "Watties' Spaghetti".

    And again, I'd have to say Wattie's spaghetti in a can at least doesn't pretend to be gourmet, unlike the risottos and the pastas you get served in your average NZ restaurant. I'll take the former over the latter.

    Amy, Ian - I love you both very much.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    May your soup be an opus...
    Giovanni - you put the broth in brother!

    May your tapas come with pasta
    and your spaghetti turn to page hitts...

    yrs porkily
    Captain Cooker
    a harsh tusk-master

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Giovanni - you put the broth in brother!

    May your tapas come with pasta
    and your spaghetti turn to page hitts...

    You've forced my hand! Here's some horrible self-linkage then: this was cross-posted on Speaker last year but I updated it last week with pictures of the ancestral broth, so you might as well get a second serving. Whereas this I've been wanting to mention with regard to class and food - especially the beginning on the subject of my great-grandmother's duck scheme.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Brent Jackson,

    Islander,

    I've finally twigged as to why you write ANZ for New Zealand. The A stands for Aotearoa. Nothing to do with banks or Australia. I can't believe that I didn't work it out the first time I saw it and thought "that's odd".

    Cheers,
    Brent.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report

  • Islander,

    Kia ora Brent

    8>)

    (and in any country list we'd always be ahead of The Great West Island 8>) 8>) )

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report

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