Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a man

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  • Amy Galvani,

    In any case, starting today I am going to go through the list of 25 things set down in Popular Mechanics, and I am going to master all of them.

    Hadyn, I am hiring a trailer this weekend if you'd like to try out number 2 on the list?

    Wellington • Since Oct 2008 • 28 posts Report Reply

  • Plaid the Impaler,

    Dude, you read "Popular Mechanics" - that's pretty freakin' manly.

    Me? I skate with an all-womens roller-derby league and use a pseudonym on occasion. I suspect this disqualifies me from any pretence of manliness.

    Since Mar 2009 • 4 posts Report Reply

  • Jed Soane,

    I'm still practicing "maneuvering a car out of a skid". The first time I ended up facing the wrong way in a ditch (my grandmother's cousin's husband pulled my car out with his tractor. Now there was a man).

    The second time I ended up facing the wrong way against a snow bank one metre from the drop off the Mt Hutt road. This prompted me to add "regularly check tread on tyres" to my manly list.

    Wellington • Since Feb 2009 • 15 posts Report Reply

  • Stuff n Things,

    Surely changing a car tyre has got to be in there?

    Again, I'm not insinuating that people of the inwards-genital persuasion can't do this ... just observing that I feel strong and manly when I've had opportunity to prove that I can lift a tyre, use a jack, remove the nuts and get my hands dirty. And sweat. Or something.

    Roar.

    Wellywood • Since Apr 2007 • 50 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    I feel strong and manly when I've had opportunity to prove that I can lift a tyre, use a jack, remove the nuts...

    Well, someone had to say it.

    The wireless north ;-) • Since Dec 2006 • 4947 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    Jed, me too.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Surely changing a car tyre has got to be in there?

    You know what, you're right. Consider it added.

    Dude, you read "Popular Mechanics" - that's pretty freakin' manly.

    I read the occasional link that comes through my science blog feeds - that's much much less manly

    Hadyn, I am hiring a trailer this weekend if you'd like to try out number 2 on the list?

    Sigh if only that were innuendo. Fine.

    I'm still practicing "maneuvering a car out of a skid".

    You know I might need a photographer for this...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Irvine,

    The manliest thing I've learned how to do lately is fillet a fish. There's death, blood and sharp knives, what's not to like?

    I love fishing, and it's important to be able to prepare those scaley little guys for eating if you're going to drag them out of their environment and stick a knife in thier head. Got a great crash course on a work charter boat fishing trip when me and the chaps filleted about 60 snapper one Saturday night.

    It makes me feel pretty bloody manly knowing that if anyone was to say "I've got this fish, but don't know what to do with it", I can truthfully say "Do you want me to fillet that fucker?". That's awesome.

    Plus, sports blogging has to be pretty manly, would you say Hadyn?

    Auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 241 posts Report Reply

  • Sarah Wedde,

    I'm not a fan of prescriptive lists when it comes to human people. They always seem to end in the smugness of those who conform to the script.

    Lower Hutt • Since Nov 2006 • 66 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    I thought I was ok at number 2. But had the opportunity yo try reversing a qud bike with trailer the other day. Talk about instant, unstoppable jack-knifing and complete loss of man points...

    That was before I failed the torque wrench test (!= monkey wrench then?).

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1616 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    Love the recursive dissonance of a list of manly things when creating lists is the manly thing.

    Yrs, Ms Nicola Hornby

    Te Ika A Maui - Waitakere… • Since Oct 2008 • 572 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Plus, sports blogging has to be pretty manly, would you say Hadyn?

    I suppose, it doesn't really involve a lot of "doing stuff" though (except maybe eating chips)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    I like the old word for man. Hand, like a dab hand, a kitchen hand or a deck-hand. I don't like "handy-man", its derogatory and it hurts my feelings:) It would seen that manliness is all about doing, rather than being. So you can't "be a man" because your manhood is judged on what you have done.

    Having a boat, any boat, or even just a set of plans to build one, go's along way to mitigating my arty**I-AM** thing.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2777 posts Report Reply

  • LegBreak,

    So is the not eating quiche thing now officially dated?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1162 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    As a man I would suggest it is your duty to be willing to eat most anything that vaguely falls into the 'food' category. (And quite a few that obviously don't...) There was never an embargo on quiche, even if it was pronounced 'kwitch' on occasion.

    Te Ika A Maui - Waitakere… • Since Oct 2008 • 572 posts Report Reply

  • Leopold,

    You mean stripping and cleaning some umpteen dozen WW I vintage rifles after school was not punishment for wagging Cadets, but an attempt to enhance my manliness ...
    (I know, I know, it shows my age)

    Since Jan 2007 • 149 posts Report Reply

  • Phil Sargent,

    It makes me feel pretty bloody manly knowing that if anyone was to say "I've got this fish, but don't know what to do with it", I can truthfully say "Do you want me to fillet that fucker?". That's awesome.

    Then you pull out your fileting knive and sharpen it (no. 4) , select a good wine (no.1) , then cook it (no.2).

    You should get extra points for combining tasks.

    Since Nov 2006 • 28 posts Report Reply

  • Rachel Prosser,

    I recall it once being suggested that the difference between a boy and a man was:
    1 - buys contraceptives without blushing.
    2 - is not embarrassed by tampons (I remember seeing a guy from Burnham in army fatigues with tampons in his trolley (presumably for his wife) and thinking - he was totally a man, not a wimp).

    Maybe it's about confidence.

    Perhaps theres another: is able to be patient and teach a 6 year old how to do something practical.

    Christchurch • Since Mar 2008 • 225 posts Report Reply

  • noizyboy,

    <quote>Plus, sports blogging has to be pretty manly, would you say Hadyn?

    I suppose, it doesn't really involve a lot of "doing stuff" though (except maybe eating chips)</quote>

    And drinking whisky. Very manly.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 171 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    manliness is all about doing, rather than being. So you can't "be a man"

    You have to "do a man"? :)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • noizyboy,

    gah, failing to correctly nest your quote tags is imminently un-manly.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 171 posts Report Reply

  • noizyboy,

    "eminently"

    giving up...

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 171 posts Report Reply

  • Rachel Prosser,

    Looking at the list how about:

    - open a bottle of wine using a corkscrew

    Or given the "dismantle a gun" type things perhaps "open a beer bottle without an opener" would be more that line.

    Maybe that's more for the list "25 things a gentleman should be able to do"

    Thinking about alternate lists, there could also be:

    25 things a woman should be able to do
    25 things a lady should be able to do?
    25 things a grown-up should be able to do?

    Christchurch • Since Mar 2008 • 225 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive; A Manual of Step-By-Step Procedures for the Compleat Idiot.

    Step 1: Buy a Toyota.
    Step 2: Convert Volkswagen into quirky bar/gazebo/chicken coop.

    If you call that living ... :)

    Probably says a lot that I loved the book and idolised the cars, then proceeded to buy a Corolla once I actually got my license.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1569 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Irvine,

    Sports blogging definitely falls into that Hemmingway / Jack London category, ie 'It may LOOK like sitting slumped in front of a keyboard isn't particularly manly in itself, but I'm just ABOUT to go kill a bear, a marlin or eat some chips'.

    As a newish parent I'm going to add 'deal with your first born when they're pissing, shitting and spewing simultaneously without freaking out'.

    Auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 241 posts Report Reply

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