Posts by Joe Wylie

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  • Hard News: Veitch,

    Good on you, well worth commemorating, tho it'd be nice to produce something a little more expressive than the current rather Airfixy dude with ho(e). Hell, my first (and toughest) job at age 10 was picking & weeding for an elderly Chinese lady in Buller Road. A short stooped old dear grudgingly counting out sixpences and shillings, as she did each payday, would be just dandy.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Dear Prudence,

    A well, apropos of next-to-nothing, then:

    There was a young lady of Tottenham
    With no manners, or else she'd forgotten 'em
    At tea at the vicars
    She tore off her knickers
    Because, she explained, she felt hot in 'em

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Veitch,

    What we envisage, is more fruity than Weta.

    And cost-competitive too, one hopes. When the local council at Levin approached Weta Workshop a few years back about having a statue of a generic Chinese market gardener made to enliven the town precinct, the resulting quote was enough to make them have a wee lie down. Seems they found someone else closer to their budget, as they now have a worthy bronze bloke with a hoe.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Cracker: Of Tweets and Twats,

    eeny meeny miney mo-

    You got it. My preference as a kid was for edible transport, such as aeroplanes. No biomorphising, therefore no dilemma about which end to start with.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Cracker: Of Tweets and Twats,

    Black, inuit, chocolate fish, bunnies, whatever, the big issue for me is still about biting their heads off.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Speaker: Copyright Must Change,

    pirate bay should acknowledge a fair cop and move on to waste someone else's time . . .

    Like, take Tussock's suggestion and go on tour already? There might just be something in that for all parties.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Cracker: Of Tweets and Twats,

    That would be a redneck . . .

    Thanks for that. As it happened, the guy's dad was a clinical psychiatrist. I've no idea what part of Canada he hailed from, but I presume it was a place where even the families of shrinks were card-carrying bogans.

    The RCMP still harass First Nations and Inuit if you live in the wrong neck of the woods.

    And there was me thinking that the mounties spent their time spanking lumberjacks while saying stuff like 'Don't do it again, Pierre,' and sticking pictures of rotten teeth to bottles of maple syrup as mandatory health warnings. Bang goes another kooky stereotype.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Veitch,

    Except that in extreme cases a dodgy or incompetent lawyer might leave you in prison when a competent one would have got you off.

    Just as, perhaps, in equally extreme cases, a dodgy and competent lawyer could save you from a prison sentence when you should have done time?

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Cracker: Of Tweets and Twats,

    That or your evil twin, apparently.

    Normal people don't have those.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

  • Cracker: Of Tweets and Twats,

    Those workaholic Americans, on the other hand, are always blowing each other off.

    They have no shame. In the years I spent pushing a pencil in animation factories with sundry Americans and Canadians, I learnt never to refer to an eraser as a rubber, lest they spent the rest of the day falling about laughing.

    Anybody remember the writings of a very strange person called Grey Owl?

    Right - a Canadian-dwelling Scot who enjoyed a certain success masquerading as a voice-of-the-wilderness Native American before being unmasked late in life. While his writings were certainly a cut above the "Only when the last river has been dammed and the last tree cut down will man realise that mouthing dodgy Native American platitudes makes you sound like a muppet" variety of faux nature-spirituality, in retrospect it all seems rather dodgy.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3663 posts Report Reply

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