Posts by Isabel Hitchings

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  • Capture: Spring Breaks, in reply to Lilith __,

    Thank you. Those buds are so appealing it was hard to tear myself away.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Capture: Spring Breaks,

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    Possibly the same buds and blooms as Lilith’s. And some daffs as well.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Capture: Spring Breaks,

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    Like pretty much all of Christchurch I spent a bit of last weekend’s sun in the botanic gardens. I was particularly enamored of the magnolias – I love the over-the-top flowers against the bare branches and..oh..the fuzzy buds!

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Southerly: Continuing After A Short Interruption, in reply to David Haywood,

    Ouchy! I find supportive shoes and inserts make a difference very quickly. Stretches and lunges that elongate the muscles and tendons in the calves are a big help too. Long-term, not carrying 14kg of toddler on my back made the biggest difference of all.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: The Missing Stair and the…, in reply to Lilith __,

    I’ve known Missing Stairs who aren’t bigots at all, just people with very low social IQ who blunder about annoying people, for instance by being unbearably patronising. They may be basically nice people, but they’re the ones you invite out of a sense of duty rather than pleasure.

    Some of the missing stairs I've know have been genuine not-very-nice-people but others have been generally decent people who have things going on which interfere with social interactions. I have known missing stairs with poor social IQ, pain causing conditions that make them short tempered, or difficulty hearing. What makes these people missing stairs is that, instead of finding coping strategies for themselves, they out-source the problem so the people around them have to make all the accommodations.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: The Missing Stair and the…,

    It's quite remarkable how, as soon as I hear it put that way, I can name the missing stairs in pretty much every group I have ever been a part of. The friend whose partner quietly apologises on their behalf, the person for whom you change the meeting rules so their pet subject doesn't make it onto the agenda, the committee member to whom you give a consuming task to keep them busy while the rest of you get on....

    There have been a couple of people who were utterly toxic in my own life where getting away from them took sacrificing some of the social circles to which I introduced them, so I never got the chance to find out if the problem extended to other people or just me. Certainly I treated those people as missing stairs, worked around them, made excuses for them and devoted a lot of energy to 'managing' our interactions.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Southerly: My Life As a Palm Tree,

    You want bathroom horror stories?

    Changing the nappy of a squirmy toddler in a cafe bathroom with highly polished concrete floors and no changing table. Kid bumps dirty nappy spilling contents onto the floor. I stand up to locate more paper towel, put my foot into the mess and immediately slip over, landing hard on my tailbone and spreading poop far and wide. Quite a lot of long, stinky minutes, and many, many paper towels later, toddler (who has not been entirely helpful) and I emerge to a family who are somewhat perplexed by my insistence on leaving immediately.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: Good Counsel, in reply to Judith Fursdon,

    For me, initially, drugs were far easier to accept than counselling would have been because I had a bad case of the I'm-not-worthies. A 15 minute doctor's appointment and a packet of pills was the outer limit of the amount of care I felt I deserved. I would have felt that an extended period of someone's undivided attention was too much to ask for. Once I was feeling a little better I would have been open to the idea-especially if it was present as a way of consolidating the work I'd already done.

    I wonder if there would be an increase in uptake if counselling was (re) offered after a couple of months of medication.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: Good Counsel,

    It's been around 15 years since I was treated for depression. I no longer recall if counselling wasn't offered or just wasn't offered assertively or frequently enough to make it through the fog. Either way I didn't get any sort of talk therapy for a depressive episode that was, in part, quite situational in origin.

    I'm lucky that I responded well to a low dose of Prozac with few side-effects (there was some weight gain and loss of libido but depression had started both those jobs already) and I was able to find my way out of the dark.

    Even so I think adding counselling to the mix would have made my climb out of the hole a lot easier and less tenuous. I still carry a few demons from that period and I do wonder if some of those hang-ups might have been avoided with a more comprehensive treatment plan.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Legal Beagle: Council Elections: STV Q&A,

    I hate STV voting for health boards because it's often a huge list of people with often relatively low public profiles. Researching all those people enough to feel confident about ranking them precisely is not something I have the time and energy for. I'd love to be able to vote in tiers: yes, maybe, no, over my dead body etc.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

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