Posts by Emma Hart

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  • Cracker: The Harvard Centre for Self…,

    I believe that the lower-cut the top I wear and the pushier-up the bra, the less people look me in the face. I'd like a grant to study this, but I believe it's already been done.

    Last night I went to our school speech finals, and listened to a twelve year old boy state that evolution was demonstrably rubbish because men have one fewer rib than women. I'd like to know how much of that the average liberal can absorb before the back of their head explodes.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Island Life: A Rat At My Table,

    I really start to worry when they eye up the neighbour's dog to see if it fits through the cat flap...

    Our friends' cat solved this problem by simply ripping the cat door off. Resultant hole was then big enough for rabbits to fit through.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Stories: Life in Books,

    Because you only read Stranger in a Strange Land? It's been a long time but I remember thinking that one was like it was written by someone else entirely.

    The Moon is a Harsh Mistress is pretty good. Some Heinlein is total unmitigated bilge, though. I'm looking at you, Number of the B(r)east...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Southerly: If You Don't Hit Them, You…,

    Hehhe, your family love you, I had the embolism!

    I'm pretty sure they just wanted me to stop yelling 'but that's not even TRUE!' at the telly and looking for things to throw.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Stories: Life in Books,

    I'd forgotten about the Stainless Steel Rat.

    Oh, me too. And Spider Robinson. Callahan's Crosstime Saloon, and Lady Slings the Booze.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Southerly: If You Don't Hit Them, You…,

    After watching that TV3 "debate" last night, I've worked out why the government didn't push the bill through before Easter after all. Their cunning plan is to give Christine Rankin more air time.

    "childless Prime Minister ... spitting Sue Bradford" ... boy, does she have issues.

    My family had an intervention and switched over to Futurama before I had an embollism.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Speaker: Part 15: The money shot,

    A full house paying quarter price is better than a stadium quarter-full of people paying full price.

    How obvious is this, really? At this point, they really should at least be trucking in schoolchildren to fill out the stands.

    The fencing in of Hagley Oval here will be the end of our 'taking the kids to the cricket', and they're hardly going to be watching it on TV, are they.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Stories: Life in Books,

    As a child, Maurice Gee, the Halfmen of O, Under the Mountain. Fantasy can be right in your own back yard.

    As a teenager, as well as the backs of those cornflakes packets, Ken Keyes The Hundredth Monkey, and John Christopher's The Lotus Caves. The Catcher in the Rye for proving that whiny self-obsessed teenagers are really irritating.

    At uni, Pride and Prejudice - some books really are all they're cracked up to be. And Robinson Crusoe, for finally teaching me that my mother was right - life really is too short to read books that crashingly awful.

    As an adult, Anais Nin, for showing me I wasn't as screwed up as I thought i was. The Secret History because it made me feel like someone had been looking over my shoulder at uni. Mil Millington for making me laugh on the worst days, and making me feel like someone had been looking over my shoulder at work.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Speaker: The Re-Branding of Maxim,

    Oh, and I'm going to have the Philosopher's Song stuck in my head the rest of the morning now, thanks Reece.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Speaker: The Re-Branding of Maxim,

    To develop confidence in, and the ability to, communicate effectively.

    Is it just me, or is that some really bad grammar?

    That is some deeply, satisfyingly bad grammar. That kind of irony is especially pleasant.

    Neil. The other day my nine year old daughter was playing in the park down the road from our house, by herself. A man came up to her and asked her if she'd like to come with him. She could drink some coke, play some Xbox, hang out with other kids, it'd be cool. After about ten minutes of trying to persuade her that no, she didn't really have to ask her parents first, he admitted that what he was inviting her to was a Christian Youth Group.

    Now, I could be impressed that secularism has come so far that these people are now pretending NOT to be Christians for as long as possible, but I'm not, I'm really grossed out and I find it creepy and insidious.

    I find it equally nauseating when people who are fundamentally illiberal pretend a liberal face, but still believe I'm unfit to raise my own children. I don't find hypocrisy a victory for anyone, it just cheapens what I believe in.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

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