I wasn't too sure about the little white tablets they gave us in the goodie bags, but Matthew Hooton told me I'd be a pussy if I didn't neck at least half a dozen. After watching a film about sharks eating Nazis for half an hour, I had to be outside, where something made me look up.
David Slack (who doesn't do drugs but becomes adventurous under the influence of wine) was free-climbing the front of the building. (I actually saw two of him climbing the building in perefect unison, but the laws of physics dictate that two instances of Slack may not occur in the same space, so I put that down to double vision.) He was singing.
"Sly and the Family Stone," observed Graeme Hill. "Nice."
I turned around to ask Hooton how he was getting on, but at just that moment he was taken out in a flying tackle. The Prime Minister got up cackling and ostentatiously dusting off her hands. It's nice to see her smiling again.
After the DPS guy had helped Hooton to his feet, I asked if perhaps things weren't going a bit far.
"After all, Norrie Montgomery's here taking photos for Bridget Saunders. She might write some long-winded thing saying how disappointed she is in us."
"No worries," said Hooton. "I slipped a couple of pills in the little bugger's lemonade."
"Jesus. Where is he now?"
"In the toilets, taking photos of himself in the mirror."
We were interrupted by a loud crash. Slack had come down from the front of the building and was cradled in a huge, crumpled dent in a Toyota people mover. He was still singing.
"STAND!" he bawled, "__STAAAAAAND!__ …"
Richard Driver, the founder of the Documentary Channel, hove into view. His hair was on fire. With a pretty blue flame.
"Why is your hair on fire?" I asked.
"Guy Fawkes," he said.
It was at that point I had a vision. I saw The Goddess, golden and shining.
"Hi," she said, "I'm Camilla from Julian and Camilla's World Odyssey. Thanks for supporting our programme."
My brief moment of reverie was interrupted when …
Oh, alright. That wasn't exactly how it happened, and the little white tablets in the nifty container were sugar-free mints. But all the abovementioned persons were at the Documentary Channel launch at Soca Gallery (met the owners - nice place) on Friday, Richard Driver used to have blue hair, the channel is in fact giving a deserved re-run to Julian and Camilla's World Odyssey, the Prime Minister was indeed in a notably good mood and Camilla is pretty fly.
Meanwhile PA System reader Tristan reviews early offerings from the channel thus:
Well documentary TV started last night and being the usual pap on Sunday TV we spent most of our time watching the new TV.
Old Enough to Be His Mother
A real stinker! This "doco" followed the lives of couples with very large age differences. All the way up to 30 years was covered.
It started off well enough with couples gently talking about their lives and how they got on with things. There was one couple where the mother had been vilified by the English press for leaving her daughter behind while she moved to Turkey. We got to hear the mothers story and how her daughter and the press and lied.
Then it went downhill fast ...They must have run out of material because after going through 6 couples they went around them again and the last half of the show was all about their sex lives. One point that really made me angry was when they taped one couple in the shower washing one another. That was just gutter stuff.
But he took a much more positive view of Legendary Faces - Benny Hill:
Part of a series of portraits on famous people from around the world this was a really personal and loving look at very funny and it seemed lonely man.
His friends and co starts as well as an historian talked about his life and how he became the first TV made comedian.
The really special stuff in this doco was the insight into his personal life which was not full of bawdy girl chasing (well mostly) but of a loner who lived a very frugal life despite being very rich.
His long time friend talked about how Benny signed his own death warrant by refusing a heart bypass and he knew that he would die. It seems even if you are a comic genius you still suffer like other geniuses.
One really funny story was his pick up routine... He used to take women from his show out to lunch, have a few wines and then take them home. They would be finished by the early evening so then he could watch telly at night!
I'm look forward to more of them. Oh and I'm also looking forward to seeing more of Judy Bailey who is now presenting short NZ History segments between documentaries. Last night it was Charles Upham and it was marvellous.
Oh, that that's what Judy's doing. Anyone gonna YouTube it?
Meanwhile, my good lady wife and I watched Days and Nights in an Indian Jail which was sort of disarming, because, while the Indian justice system seems to be like Kafka on downers, the prisons were not what I expected at all. Well worth catching if you're setting the MySky …
but the laws of physics dictate that two instances of Slack may not occur in the same space
Bullshit. Disproving that is as easy as walking into Hallensteins and asking for.... a pair of Slacks.
Thank you. I'll be here all week.
By the way, thanks a bunch for wiping out what remaining cred I might have had with this chemical-positive readership. Would it have killed you to mention that the drugs are off the menu on heart doctor's orders?
As for the programming: two for two so far. The Maradona one was voiced (to my ear) by the same guy who narrated People's Century, which gives it ten points right off the bat. It was followed by one on Tupperware which serves as a very nice exploration of origins of today's consumer culture and the Multi Level Marketing phenomenon. Various opportunities are taken to celebrate the contribution to feminism, but the overarching sense I was left with was darker.
I'm sure that at the launch that I saw Mr Hooten very enthusiastically clapping the PM's speech, which is further evidence - if needed - that there was a strange vibe in the air.
The Maradona doco was great, some of the footage of he and the entire crowd weeping at his final game in Argentina was stirring stuff, and the archive footage of his play proved he was operating at a completely different level to his peers. Good thing he only had one foot.
And if there was ever any curiosity as to why he became a junkie, the fact he was pumped full of steroids and vitamins as a pre-teenager to help him grow is a good place to start. Treated like a horse from day one. Poor buggar.
Hah! Now I have you all in the same place - I was going to demand to know about these "white pills" since half my family seem to have been invited to the bash except me, I thought I might have to pull rank on younger sister to share her stash.
But mints I can do without. What else came in the bag?
Nice to hear all had a nice time.
I didn't actually get a bag. Just got a bit of a red face from a glorious evening sun and excessive Babich.
BTW, I didn't see the Tupperware doco but wish I had .... someone close to home spent a long time as a *Tupperware Queen* and by the end I was starting to think of them as a little, well, cultish.
And as with many similar marketing schemes, the true costs of selling are not always made apparent. I'll keep an eye out for the repeats .....
We nearly took it in, but brushed on past in the end. I'll record it if word on the street suggests it has merit.
BTW - we have people close who are into Omegatrend "The giving never stops!" and I am always reminded of that scene from the movie "Go" where the protagonists believe they are being set up for "swinging", but it is actually the network marketing pitch.
Yes - press record for Tupperware.
I am always reminded of that scene from the movie "Go" where the protagonists believe they are being set up for "swinging", but it is actually the network marketing pitch
And really, how different is the outcome?
Happy to refer you David :)
Actually, and here's where we find that half the people that come here are members of an Omegatrend chapter, or coven, or whtever they call them...
Um... perhaps I should just say that their marketing material is hilarious - mansions, sports cars, yachts, and the very best leisure suits money can buy.
And lots of happy, healthy, (apparently) heterosexual, airline-brochure-attractive people.
"I am always reminded of that scene from the movie "Go" where the protagonists believe they are being set up for "swinging", but it is actually the network marketing pitch
And really, how different is the outcome?"
Ha! - yes other than the semantic difference of who is screwing who, no difference at all
Well... one coincidental outcome was that Mrs Llew inadvertently (colossal coincidence) outed one of their (apparently) happily married chapter members as a notorious philanderer.
You could have heard a pin drop. Until Mrs llew burst out laughing.
BTW - we have people close who are into Omegatrend "The giving never stops!"
Ugh. Couldn't you get them to take up something more socially redeeming? A P habit, perhaps?
I doubt it, they still look longingly at those brochures... I'm guessing that they'll have enough points or whatever they need, to score a sports car by the end of this century.
Mind you, they probably have the leisure suits already.