I’ve written about consent a time or two (or eleven, as it turns out) here at Public Address. I’ve been thoughtful, constructive, and considered. I’ve done that. It’s done. Please bear that in mind, while I have a word with the dudebros.
Guys. Just how fucking stupid are you?
I don’t know how we got here, to this place where men can manage boardrooms and governments but not their own behaviour. You can run anything, you’re the natural leaders, except when it comes to ‘not harming the women around you’. Then, you’re a bunch of feckless shit-gibbons. If a woman doesn’t treat you like a natural hazard, if she doesn’t dress and behave like she lives in a fucking war zone, then somehow your behaviour is her responsibility.
There’s a word for males whose behaviour is a woman’s responsibility. That word is ‘boy’, and the woman is called ‘Mummy’.
A woman’s job is not consent to having sex with you. Clothes a woman put on before she ever met you are not consent to having sex with you. Being really keen to have sex with someone is not consent to having sex with you. A woman is not consenting if she isn’t constantly repeating the word ‘no’, despite what defence lawyers might tell you.
But here’s something you guys will apparently find a mind-buggering revelation. Women don’t have to give consent. No, stay with me here. They can initiate sex. Women can be the ones who ask for consent. If you find the prospect of pausing and saying “Yes?” and waiting for an answer too terrifying (and you’re too stupid to realise how hot that can be), maybe try waiting until she asks you. I hear being accused of rape can really blight your promising sporting career. I can’t imagine anything worse.
And what kind of a loser “has sex” with a woman whom they know “wasn’t that into it”? You couldn’t get a woman to want to have sex with you? How bad at the sexing do you have to be to not realise there’s something wrong if your partner isn’t moving, making any noise, or participating in any way? Is that what it’s normally like for you?
Loser. Here’s a tip: women are active participants in sex they want to have. It’s pretty great. You should try it.
Freezing up in shock is the most common reaction to be raped. Not fighting back, not screaming. She’s lying there not moving because her body and her mind are trying to protect her from the trauma of you. How sexy is that?
Correct. It’s not sexy at all. Loser.
I reckon the dude who does this is the same kind of dude who, when surrounded by about twenty other dudes and with a couple of drinks in him, is just about brave enough to assault a stripper. What a man. What a shit-gibbon.
But look, here’s why I think you’re stupid. I think you’re other things too, but let’s concentrate on this for now. Women have more sex when they feel safe. This goes so far that there’s a positive correlation between the percentage of women in a government, and the number of sexual partners women in that country have. You want to have casual sex on the regular? Your odds increase if you stop making women feel threatened. (I mean, you know all your ways of tricking women into sex, like negging, and breaking the touch barrier, are on the internet, right? And women can read?)
If your fellow dudes are being all “Hey isn’t it cool throwing beer on women she said no but I’m going to keep pushing let’s see if we can make her cry” they are diminishing your chances of getting laid. What kind of a friend doesn’t want you to get laid?
Show us you’re not a little baby-man. Show us your masculinity is robust enough that you can stand up to the baby-men. Stop being so chicken-shit terrified of women that you have to demean them to make yourself feel better. It might just pay off for you.