Cracker by Damian Christie

18

Fiji Baby

I'm not telling Foreign Affairs how to do their job, but having spent today being blown around Wellington in increasingly deteriorating conditions, I can only imagine how the conversation must have gone yesterday:

MFAT: I'm sorry, you have to leave Wellington and return to Fiji immediately.

Fijian diplomat: Are you being serious?

MFAT: I'm afraid so, you see we can no longer toler... Where'd he go?

Really? That's your idea of punishment? Leave Wellington and go to Fiji?

There's a reason why people interviewed at the airport today were still happy to jump on those Fiji-bound flights. As New Zealand comes out of the coldest October in over 60 years and a November that hasn't started well, it's not only the diplomatic situation that's warming up in Suva.

The only person really suffering here is the poor NZ diplomat who has to pack his bags and head back to the capital. I'm guessing it's not regarded as a good look to delay your symbolic return home to spend a few personal days soaking up some rays?

The mo' is going okay, thanks. It's currently at the awkward stage. The hardest part for me is shaving every day, to keep the mo' in sharp relief, as required by the rules. Usually I shave once a week, coincidentally the same day I'm on telly.

No word yet whether Key succame (is that a word? It should be) to pressure - the pressure of 130-odd of us who joined my facebook group, but I suspect the news ain't great. On the other hand, my own campaign is still happily accepting donations. $5 will do, and you don't even have to come to my stupid church or wear a crappy ring of loyalty. Bowing and surprise gifts are entirely your call. Donate here please!

And thanks for your advice and wishes on the run. It was heeding such advice that saw me withdraw the day before. I'd been limping a bit, and figured a sore ankle at the start of the race wasn't going to magic itself better after 21kms and in fact was more likely to see me back at the physio. So, yeah, sorry, wish that story had a more interesting ending. Next year.

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