Field Theory by Hadyn Green

20

The Magnificent Sevens and other misnomers

I took this long weekend with a healthy dose of snobbery. There was an international sporting event in town and I was doing everything in my power to avoid it. The Wellingtonista had even provided me with a handy guide to town lest I forget.

But it is hard to forget or avoid the Sevens when it's in town. Case in point: Saturday morning we walked to Newtown for breakfast and discovered outside one of the louder flats on our street someone had written in road-marking-size font "I LOVE [drawing of a penis]".

In fact penises seem to be a good symbol for the Sevens. If they aren't being drawn on various things (walls, road signs, drunk people's faces) they are being removed from trousers and displayed.

But really should we complain so much? The Sevens is a pretty cool event and probably does bring in a lot of people will to spend fistfuls of cash on shiny trinkets and booze. Who cares what they are wearing?

Well no one does. The costumes are really uniforms, one guy in an iPod suit would be a weirdo (or worse "clever") but a group of eight is acceptable. And as long as the guys cross-dress without enjoying it and the girls have short skirts and show cleavage then it's ok. Sort of.

The grunting "frat boy" heterosexualism of it is a little over the top but it's probably the drinking to "get wasted" is probably the worst part. In a couple of weeks the Cuba Carnival will start up and there will again be flamboyant costumes, music, dancing and public drinking and flirtation. But the difference will be that the Carnival attendees will be drinking to enhance their fun, not to see how many Jagermeister shots they can do.

Anyway enough of the social stuff, on the sports side I think we can all agree on two things:

  1. why the fuck didn't New Zealand run the ball out of bounds at the end of the match to run the clock down?
  2. why do they still let Keith Quinn into the commentary booth

I did yell at the TV a lot during the game. But, I gotta say again, it was nice to be able to watch it on free-to-air TV.

In other oval ball sports the Super 14 is almost ready to start and I know you cricket fans a glad to see the end of this awful awful season for the Black Caps. Once again cricket will take it's rightful place behind rugby, it had a good three months at the number one slot and now it's back to being the "other sport".

Obviously I joke. The Black Caps are doing very well, despite an improved Australia in the last game. And the rugby has come way too soon.

Sorry this is all you guys get. I updated the links from when I first wrote this but a flu-type illness is keeping me beat. Run wild and free in the system

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