Radiation by Fiona Rae

Like a girly little fangirl I went along to see Summer Glau at Armaggedon on Labour weekend and can report that she is gorgeous and sincere and, like John Travolta owed his late-career resurgence to Quentin Tarantino, she owes her career to Joss Whedon.

I even asked a question; the one about did she know what she was letting herself in for when she signed up to do Firefly. Turns out she didn’t know much about Buffy and had no idea that the interest from the fans would be so intense. However, apparently Whedon fans are smarter than your average fan. Heh.

The actors from Stargate Atlantis were a fun bunch, having the advantage of being a double act. They found it weird that Paul Holmes kept referring to them as “Hollywood celebrities” during their interview. (Speaking of Holmes, did Judy Bailey really say that “the journalism was the thing” during her interview? She was an effing newsreader for gosh’s sake!) So I’m a fan now of Stargate, which was funny on Thursday even if it did trot out the old body switcheroo storyline. (Funnily enough, my son and I had just watched an episode of Star Trek Voyager in which Tuvok and Neelix are mixed up in a transporter accident and create a whole new entity, who called himself Tuvix. They had latex FX to create a hybrid buy; Stargate had to make do with Laura being in McKay’s head.)

Someone asked about the second season of Battlestar Galactica (sorry about my late reply), which seems to have disappeared off TV3’s radar entirely. It’s not in their new season book and now you can buy the second season from Whitcoulls, maybe they won’t bother at all. Entertainment Weekly loves it; here’s a review mid-way through the second season and here’s Ken Tucker’s assessment of season three so far, if you don’t mind spoilers.

There was praise for Prime at the Stargate panel, actually, for being the only channel to screen sci-fi. I can report that Karen Bieleski, channel manager, is a Buffy/Angel/Firefly fan (one of us, one of us …), has shaken Adam Baldwin’s hand and considers Doctor Who and Stargate to be family entertainment.

The Who spin-off Torchwood has started in the UK, with mixed, although not unkind, reviews. It’s a bit uneven in tone and some of the lines are a bit clunky, but it’s got potential and is thoroughly watchable. The leads are John Barrowman – Captain Jack from Doctor Who – and Eve Myles, who was Gwyneth in the Doctor Who episode “The Unquiet Dead”. Oh, and Cardiff gets a starring role.

I’m slightly gleeful that the new season of Grey’s Anatomy in the US is kicking CSI’s butt in the ratings. Girly, character-driven drama 1; nasty procedural cop show 0. But CSI is fighting back through the dramatic technique of … character development. As Nelson would say, ha ha.

Ratings in the US for the third season of Lost are not quite as stellar as last season, but my guess is that 11.6 million viewers is still enough for the network. It seems to be in a celebrity death match struggle with Criminal Minds, which has started here on TV1 (yet another ensemble crime drama with a strong male lead character. I blame ER). Dominic Monaghan was quite open about the show on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, saying that the producers had an end in sight, but the network weren’t ready to let them wrap up the cash cow just yet. Stephen King also alluded to the fact in his Entertainment Weekly story, saying it’s a dilemma – do you give up your baby for artistic reasons, and let someone else take over and make a hash of it, or do you carry on with it and make it the best you can? Tricky. Nathan Fillion is turning up in the November 8 episode, which is the last one in the US until February. Why you need to know all this information is beyond me. What’s that? Death of television you say? I couldn’t possibly comment.

A friend points out that My Name Is Earl is like steps seven and eight of the AA 12 Steps.

Whoa, this is a bit of a ramble, so closing now with the award for the most excellent character development this year: Munter from Outrageous Fortune. The guy has depths.

Spokespeople for several illegal TV downloading websites have today proffered their sincerest thanks to the government-owned New Zealand television station, TVNZ.

“Traffic was already pretty good,” said one, “but since TVNZ stopped screening The Sopranos like the pussy little bitches they are, it’s gone through the roof on the remaining four episodes they’re not screening.”

“It goes to show that for every act of sheer bastardy that beggars belief, there’s a spin-off benefit for someone,” said another. “Those pricks have really done us a favour.”

In other thankfulness news, professional believer Ian “Wally” Washout has sent several loaves and fishes gift baskets to the Sunday Star Crimes in gratitude for its front-page promotion of his “magazine”. “It’s incredible,” said Mr Washout. “You can’t buy that sort of publicity. It’s been better than John Tamiflu talking about front bums.” When asked by a reporter, Mr Washout had earlier denied that he was the Second Coming, but said that if the Son of God were to publish a magazine, then it would be just like his.

“Just as believing in God is a leap of faith, it is similarly a matter of faith to believe anything published in Invalidate,” he said.

Spontaneous outbursts of joy have also been reported at the producers of dramatic television comedy Outrageous Fortune. The great god of television, Tangata Mita, has been shining on the comedic drama, proof that local product has not been consigned to “sleep with the fishes”. “It really is the Second Coming,” said a spokesperson from South Pontifical Pictures, “although Cheryl’s had more comings than that, if you know what I mean.”

In other news, religious and right-wing leaders have today expressed surprise and disappointment that the fabric of society hasn’t disintegrated into a million tiny pieces. “With all the homosexuals in New Zealand running the country, we can’t understand it,” said one. “Where’s the apocalypse? Where’s the Rapture?”

“I don’t know why I haven’t seen homosexuals having sex in the streets,” said another. “All I’ve seen is a few guys getting hand-jobs from prozzies down on K Road.” His royal holiness declined to be named, but said he was personally affected by “this liberal lady-loving government” before driving away in an $80,000 Ford Explorer.

Bad lesbian! Bad! They teased us for so long on Shortie with the Mark and Maia thing and now it’s Jay that’s gone and jumped the fence (is that like jumping the shark?). And not even with Doug Howlett either. But what I mean to say is, Shortland Street has been reet good lately, what with Jay doing it on a desk with Dylan and with her hottie at home and Yvonne getting her very own lounge singer to play with, although this is the sort of thing that can send a production into a panic, especially one that is producing six half-hours of telly a week.

The trouble with writing TV highlights two weeks ahead is that you lose track of what day it is – so I was wrong about the Grey’s finale, which is actually tomorrow night [Monday]. Guess TV2 is liking the ratings; they’re replacing Grey’s Anatomy with … Grey’s Anatomy. Yes. The first season from the beginning, which will save me having to hire the DVD, I guess. Meanwhile, season three starts in the US on September 21.

What a lot of good US dramas there are at the moment, and what a lot of rubbish British ones (sit down Hotel Babylon and could there be a more boring title for a show than Murder in Suburbia?) and what a dearth of New Zealand ones. But no more! Outrageous Fortune starts September 5 guys. I’m so excited and I hope the Orange Roughies scriptwriters will be taking notes. Also Weeds. Please take notes from Weeds. Speaking of Weeds, which is a Showtime production, what’s up with those websites in the US that don’t let you in because you’re not American? Try the website at www.sho.com and see what you get.

Is it my imagination, or is the MTV NZ marketing just a little bit off? They seem to think it’s all down on the farm down here in En Zed; the so-called New Zealand show Full Tank featured snippets of Amber Peebles and Phil Bostwick being, y’know, zany and everything in between that well-known New Zealander Missy Elliot; and, I’m told, there was a pole dancer in the VIP lounge at the launch in Aotea Square on Friday. Ew. They should really have signed Camilla to do some interviews as well, because Amber and Phil were rubbish with the Arctic Monkeys.

Critical mass is, ah, massing for Snakes on a Plane. EW gives it a C+; Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 62% fresh. E! online has a cute history here, including the suggestion that releasing the movie will just spoil the fun (too late for that). Samuel L Jackson was motherf*ckin' funny on The Daily Show. Notice how it's okay to say motherf*ckin' now? Damn that Snakes on a Plane.

Giovanni mentions another reason to like Grey’s:

Word is that Deborah Cahn, who wrote some cracking episodes of The West Wing post-Sorkin and was chiefly responsible for resurrecting the series after the horrors of season five, has joined the writing staff for the new season.

I’ve been recording The West Wing, but now I’ve got two backed up. That’s the trouble with the PVR, you end up with all this stuff on it that you never get round to watching, but can’t bear to part with. Speaking of writers, David Fury, who was responsible for some cracking episodes of Buffy, is now a producer on 24, which is on turbo-charged this season.

Peter wants to know where the hell is Entourage (I’m sure one of the networks promised this), while Chris points out that Shameless is on UKTV at the moment – that’s the first series, with the lovely James McAvoy and Anne-Marie Duff. Check out what she’s been up to lately. Wow.

Meanwhile, Danielle says:

My husband hates Lukas with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. I quote: “Look at him! He looks like something Gary Numan shat out!” Lukas is therefore known in our household as the “The Turd of Gary Numan”.

Ouch. Although, now you come to mention it … Zayra had to go though, didn’t she? That Shania Twain on acid was just not right for the old rockers. Supernova have so got it made – they get to showcase their songs before the record is even out, they get miles of publicity before the tour and everyone already knows about the New Year’s gig in Vegas. Win-win baby. There are webisodes here, if you can be bothered.

As you may have noticed (or probably not, that’s the beauty of the thing) I’ve been trying for the worst blogger ever award but, like most things these days, it’s a bust. Ah well. I have excuses.

So many things have happened in my absence: what may have been Shortland Street’s first blow-job (that’s the great thing about the My Sky PVR – you can rewind to check); Orange Roughies went back to the land of the bad cop shows; Sugar Shack went back to the land of the bad … uh, what was that?; Freeview arrived and was mistaken for HDTV; Big Love and The Sopranos started (but shit, TV3, where is Battlestar Galactica?); and the best cop show on television is screening at midnight on Tuesdays. Situation normal then.

So what do we think of Big Love? It’s actually giving me the creeps, which is probably what it’s supposed to be doing. I just want to shake those nitwit women and run a mile when Harry Dean Stanton hoves into view in his Hummer. He’s like Tony Soprano but with psychological abuse. Uk. It all looks so cloying and suburban too, which is what I’m guessing Weeds will look like, albeit in a more Wisteria Lane sort of way. Starts August 16 on Prime and I’m hoping it will make up for the loss of my new favourite programme, which finals on Monday, Grey’s Anatomy. I can’t quite believe I’ve been suckered into it, but there I am, tissues ready. Yes, I know Ellen Pompeo is a stick figure with boobs, I know the voiceovers are prone to talking about “damage” and “sacrifice” (oh, please), but I really like the way the characters’ actions aren’t always spelt out in crayon. They are also very pretty, especially this guy. The scriptwriting bar in the US is so high nowadays, why aren’t there any British dramas not involving Tardises (Tardi?) that are this much fun or even insightful? We’ll just have to wait for Life on Mars I guess, and Shameless.

My other new favourite show, I’m surprised to say, is the train wreck that is Rock Star: Supernova. It’s funny how they’re all, y’know, rockers, man, but are so groomed. Especially Dave Navarro. Especially Dave Navarro’s eyebrows. And Tommy Lee’s teeth. Dilana so rocks, but Lukas and Magni are contenders. The rest should walk right now. But enough of that. Sarah points out this open letter to MTV (launches here 18 August with a gig in Aotea Square featuring Savage and Aaradhna) on the occasion of its 25th birthday. Also, if you’re lucky enough to be watching season three of Deadwood on Sky Movies 1 (it will screen on Prime in October), here’s Heather Havrilesky’s view on Salon. Warning: spoilers (not many), but she is so right about Swearengen. Ian McShane will never have another part like it.

Shortie’s been so funny lately. Some hi-laarious exchanges between the Jeffries sisters and I’m really enjoying Fleur Revell as the tactless, head-up-her-butt Libby. James Griffin said in an interview once that Shortland Street always works best with a mix of comedy and drama, which it has perfectly right now. Andy Anderson is soon to appear as a lounge singer with the hots for Yvonne. Nice.

Apparently, Gordon Ramsey is not that effing tough, and some of you with be enthusiastic about this news.

Thanks to everyone who knew about adding time onto PVR recordings so as not to miss the end of the show. Call me old-fashioned, but I still think it shouldn’t happen, but whaddareya goin’ do? And now a couple of public service announcements.

I’ve had a couple of queries about Deadwood’s third season – unfortunately its last – and I’m pleased, sort-of, to pass on that it is returning on August 2, but on Sky Movies 1. Sky is showing season two at the moment (on Wednesdays), if you want to catch up and says that season three will screen on Prime “later in the year”. So bummer if you don’t get Sky Movies, which I don’t. Apparently, David Milch will get the finale he wants for the series after it was cancelled. (Don't read the end of this story as it contains Sopranos spoilers.)
Deadwood starts on June 11 in the US in case you’re interested, although I can't think of why you would be, unless it's something to do with the death of television.

Also, Big Love, which is the Bill Paxton/Harry Dean Stanton-starring series on HBO about a polygamist and his wives. TV2 has bought this, and says it will have a mid-year launch in the next couple of months. Hurrah! This has been getting good reviews and Bill’s wives are Chloë Sevigny, Jeanne Tripplehorn and Ginnifer Goodwin. Holy crap.

Plus, news about The. Best. Cop show. Ever. The Wire. Third season will play “in July”, says TV2, late, of course. Graeme also points out that season two is now available on DVD. Season four is in production as we speak.

Sorry, Shameless fans (and really, who isn’t?), Prime has no idea about the next season.

More news as it comes to hand.

Sarah has sent a link to the very lovely Jane Espenson’s website. Jane was responsible for some of the funniest Buffy episodes (also Gilmore Girls, Firefly, Angel, The OC … wow) and is a working Hollywood scriptwriter. She was writing for Jake in Progress, but that’s been cancelled. According to the website, she’s now writing an episode of Battlestar Galactica and is under a development deal with NBC/Universal. She offers real interesting insights into what it’s like writing in Hollywood, as well as the actual process and procedures of scriptwriting. Plus, she has nice lunches.

Lastly, the Letterman list:

Friday, June 9: Actress Kyra Sedgwick; comedian/radio show host Al Franken
Monday, June 12: News anchor Meredith Vieira; actor Jeremy Piven; musical guests My Morning Jacket
Tuesday, June 13: Actor Michael Keaton; musical guests Wolfmother
Wednesday, June 14: Paris Hilton
Thursday, June 15: Journalist Tim Russert; musical guest Cat Power
Friday, June 16: Television show host Stephen Colbert; musical guest Neko Case
Monday, June 19: Actress Sandra Bullock; musical guests Widespread Panic
Tuesday, June 20: Actor Robert Duvall; comedian Tommy Tiernan; musical guests Sonic Youth
Wednesday, June 21: Actor Adam Sandler; Julie Chen, host of CBS’ Big Brother
Thursday, June 22: Nicole Richie; actor Brandon Routh
Friday, June 23: Actress Amy Sedaris; musical guests Morningwood