Shel, mate, I hear you. You have definitely had a rough 2021/2. I too treasure my family support.
I’m neither proud nor ashamed of my disabled bod. I am proud when I achieve something in spite of it.
I dislike the pain it causes daily, which sometimes keeps me in bed because fukkit. I dislike the uncertainty that each day brings because different things will hurt for no fucking reason on any given day. I dislike the brainfog that puts me horizontal for 1 hour out of 2 and am immensely pleased when I actually remember something from one day to the next. Post-It notes play a large part in my life.
I never got the idea around “disability pride”. It seems like “brown eyes” pride to me – it is what it is and just get on with it. But then I never really got queer pride either. I do get it as a reaction to being ashamed of either, as society still indicates we’re supposed to be, but “Woohoo, I’m disabled!” never really struck a chord. And while we are struggle, society is still built for able straight people. It doesn’t bend for us at all. When humans treat humans as beings with dignity and needs, regardless of our individual capabilities, I might start being proud of being human.
Thanks for writing this Shel. I'm a bit late catching up, but I am listening.