Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Bloggers: Pr*cks, Ars*holes, B*st*rds and C*nts

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  • Russell Brown,

    I find it, as Russell is fond of saying, “useful”.

    Goddamn bloggers pointing out everyone's stylistic tics.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22749 posts Report Reply

  • Hebe,

    Fucking wonderful headline: wish I had written it.

    Christchurch • Since May 2011 • 2895 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Williams, in reply to Hebe,

    I still don’t know any journalist on the way up who wouldn’t give their right arm to jump on that plane to Vladivostok, knowing how difficult it was.

    Needed saying.

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Hebe,

    I read it as a tribute to Ian Dury:

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22749 posts Report Reply

  • Graeme Edgeler, in reply to Paul Williams,

    I still don’t know any journalist on the way up who wouldn’t give their right arm to jump on that plane to Vladivostok, knowing how difficult it was.

    Needed saying.

    Hyperbole is the worst thing in the world =)

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 3202 posts Report Reply

  • Tristan,

    as long as it wasn't thier write arm..../giggle

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 221 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Students in my big first year course are creating blogs about a media issue, instead of conventional essays. Not a remarkable shift, but a useful one. Saves a couple of trees, if nothing else,

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2537 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Geoff Lealand,

    links welcome

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19683 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Brislen,

    Surely that's "Bl*ggers, Pr*cks, Ars*holes..."?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 198 posts Report Reply

  • Graham Dunster, in reply to Russell Brown,

    I bought the album in Sydney when I was there in 1978 only to discover that the pressings had omitted that immortal first stanza. Never discovered whether the same thing happened here - those were the days when NZ actually pressed lps locally...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2009 • 184 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    A few weeks ago I saw many photos from friends posted to the Pacific Island Forum, having a great time in-between pointing their microphones and sitting at their computers. Not that I'm criticising; there are plenty of photos on my Facebook of me having fun in tropical locations while doing Important Things. Having access to those in the centre comes with the territory. Theirs is a life very much chosen (much like those of the rest of us who get to choose what we do for a living - something many NZrs are denied by circumstance).

    Bloggers merely sit at their computers, and if productive they send OIAs and ask those they know for pertinent information. They're not often in the middle of things, and if they are must maintain a degree of caution or anonymity and risk the repercussions of either failing, something which must be approaching inevitability.

    I'd also argue that the gap has closed considerably in the last decade, and New Zealand media . When I'm back in Auckland I have to cringe through the editorialising and opinion layered over the reporting of almost anything. In politics it has become especially overt. Whatever happened to "We Report, You Decide" (tm) and the false air of impartiality? At least in Soviet Russia the pro/anti reporting on any given day was defending a regime. Here? Ratings, and the egos of reporters who've been given the power to shape public opinion.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to George Darroch,

    In politics it has become especially overt

    Yet without transparently declaring the bias.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19683 posts Report Reply

  • Jdrinnan,

    You're not a prick Damian

    Auckland • Since Sep 2012 • 9 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to Paul Williams,

    I still don’t know any journalist on the way up who wouldn’t give their right arm to jump on that plane to Vladivostok, knowing how difficult it was.

    Needed saying.

    Same is true in Science, travelling to conferences is tiring, sitting through boring seminars is ... but you get to goto another country and meet some amazing people and some boring ones and some who are both.

    You can't really be taken seriously when you complain.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4451 posts Report Reply

  • mark taslov, in reply to Paul Brislen,

    + Cr*cker :o

    Te Ika-a-Māui • Since Mar 2008 • 2281 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand, in reply to Sacha,

    Just for my eyes, initially.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2537 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    You can’t really be taken seriously when you complain.

    I've been on many a work overseas Jolly. Most of my own making, in one way or another. Most recently I went to China for three days, most of which was spent in the back of cars cruising from one side of a shitty great city (not even one of the good ones like Shanghai) filming clothes factories and the like.

    I wouldn't describe it as a holiday, but as a life experience it beats 3 days in the office.

    My partner used to go on sampling trips, essentially shopping her way around London, Paris, Barcelona etc, with a work credit card, buying clothes that inspired her in some way shape or form, to adapt (rather than just copy) elements of for a fashion range. I went along with her for a day in Paris - shit it was a long day, 10 hours traipsing around shop after shop - I was dead at the end of it, and she'd do that for two weeks non-stop. Exhausting - but she knew well enough not to complain about clothes shopping in Paris on the company dime!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie, in reply to Jdrinnan,

    You’re not a prick Damian

    Ha, thanks - but I think I was a prick long before I was a blogger!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    Same is true in Science, travelling to conferences is tiring, sitting through boring seminars is … but you get to goto another country and meet some amazing people and some boring ones and some who are both.

    You can’t really be taken seriously when you complain.

    Sorta. It’s quite a bit harder when you have to find ways to file a story every day, even when there isn’t really a story, and you’re on the move and you have to hustle to get people to talk to you. Armstrong also has non-trivial health issues.

    When I was an IT journalist in the glory days, it was much easier. You were really only expected to file one story, on return. And we really did get treated very well sometimes. Onya, Larry Ellison …

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22749 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Damian Christie,

    ’ve been on many a work overseas Jolly.

    I spent over 15 years (1983-1998) doing that kind of stuff – and greatly appreciated
    the opportunities, experiences, and sheer ‘getting to know some of our world’ – especially when my mother was accommodated with me (publishers et al quickly realised that I was a dismal failure as a socialiser/gladhander…and that Mary is absolutely ambassador-level superb at that job) BUT – everytime I travelled overseas, I came back with a chest infection. Which could take months to clear up. So- I didnt renew my passport in 1998, and have rarely travelled out of the south since then…
    It was good while it lasted but it cost (healthwise) waaay too much-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    @Islander - I was going through the archives the other day putting together "This Week in TV History" - it's the anniversary of that prize you won, you know the one... ;) So I pulled up the archive material and all it was, was some bloody boring video of the paperback sitting in Whitcoulls on display - was hoping to have something a bit better to share with you!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    ...Actually it may have been London Bookshops. So at least it looks dated!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Damian Christie,

    Kia ora Damian – far as I know there wasnt any video done at the time (I was in USA doing a tour associated with the Mobil Pegasus prize and only(especially !)Spiral collective were in London…the only news contacts with ANZ I remember were radio feeds, with the exception of one video on the night where-ever-we-were-in-the-USA then…was a mormon state because we couldnt buy alcohol-except beer
    unless it was in a brown paper bag…my mother duly obtained champagne while I was talking to someone at the BBC and immortalising myself with a stupid comment (I truly truly did think Tom Kenneally had won...))
    O – there was a wonderful moment when one of the hotel staff phoned the room and said, “We have an international telegram from a mister lanngee or someone.”

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Simon Grigg, in reply to Graham Dunster,

    Never discovered whether the same thing happened here - those were the days when NZ actually pressed lps locally...

    Happily no, although a few short years earlier EMI did provide this edit to the NZBC:

    Worth heaps now.....

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3283 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to Simon Grigg,

    Oh wow, I never knew that! Fantastic. It's like the ultimate "missing the lyrical point" edit, too.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

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