Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Trams, drams and scams

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  • Doris Parker,

    No fondue party would be complete without palm oil...hey, have I been hawking that pesky oil? Are you going to remove me, Mr. Brown?

    Come to think of it, since we're going to have a Robin Draper Mutual Admiration party, I propose that we form a "Russell Brown Fan Club" - he's the real object of our affection!

    Let me see...first, we need to form a Protem Council. Robyn, I nominate you as the Protem Chairperson. We could start the first and every subsequent meeting with a toast of a glass of palm oil. WE could also get the palm oil people to make "We luv Russell Brown" buttons. I'm sure it'd be the best thing to happen to mankind since sliced bread!

    Finally, Anzacs have always been known to have beautiful hearts. But are we turning from "The Land of the All-Blacks" to "The Land of the Blackhearts", the way we try to run every dissenter outta town? Sad, isn't it, especially when Robin was only trying to share some goodness with us.

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    "Therefore, I am."

    Oh, Robyn...I can't get your sign-off outta my mind! How very profound! How Descartes!

    I am..at peace
    Therefore I am...at PEACE

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    I am...sanguine
    Therefore I am...sanguine

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    Oh, Robyn, you're turning me into a serial scruncher!

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    I can swear that I'm beginnin' to see Russell Brown everywhere!

    Driving through that pesky Homer Tunnel, I could swear that I saw Rusell Brown standing in the distance!

    Can't get that RB outta my mind! I'm rubber-neckin' even when I drive through town... I can swear that's RB amongst the tourist throngs...standin' right there, just next to the Great Dane on a leash, pantin' and salivatin', like all Great Danes do! I tell meself, "Stop scrunchin', you're just infatuated..."

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Driving through that pesky Homer Tunnel

    Urgent business in the bustling metropolis of Milford Sound, Doris?

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    Oh yes, exceedingly urgent! Preparing a harem for Robin,when he finds the time to come. No harem for Robin would be complete without palm oil. He uses palm oil for everything. Massage, hair oil, salad dressing. Heck, he even uses it for his bath! You should try it sometimes...all the perfumes of Arabia....

    Had to make multiple trips through that pesky tunnel, ferrying all those barrels of palm oil...seems sometimes to be a ride into the great unknown. But I do it for love.

    I think...I am in love
    Therefore I am.. in love ...with palm oil

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Riddley Walker,

    a harem for Robin, when he finds the time to come

    goodness 'Doris', you are becoming less prim.
    you want to be careful with the palm oil though, it's highly carcinogenic when applied topically and so chock full of saturated fats that it'll kill you dead with clogged arteries in no time. it also reeks likes rancid fish oil. palm oil is really nasty cheap tacky stuff. you'd be better off using ear wax.

    AKL • Since Feb 2007 • 890 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Poor Doris. The Four Square in Queenstown was out of palm oil so she had to drive all the way to the Foodtown in Milford Sound to get some.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Actually, I have a serious question for Doris: Do you have a bach in Queentown?

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    Ear wax Riddley??? I hear through the grapevine that you're a prodigious producer of ear wax. If you'd care to donate some, I can prepare some sald dressing with your wonderful ear wax. I'm sure you'd love the taste!

    All that neg about palm oil. Obviously you haven't gone to the Palm Oil Truth Foundation. Go there and be enlightened as to the lies and myths that's been pepetrated about this oil.

    Guess what, I just caught "The Global Warming Swindle" aired by Channel 4. Seems that all this crap about global warming is just an insidious and devious scheme by Environmental NGO's to gain funding from suckers like you and ignoramus governments. Global warming according to the reputable scientists gathered, including the founder of Greenpeace (his conscience finally pricked him) is a natural phenomenon that occurs naturally and cyclically without any human intervention, throughout the eons.

    It's the solar cycles my dear Riddley, and no amount of human produced CO2 or hydrocarbons could make a dent in this cyclical eco event. Russell Brown, would you like to explore this issue for your Column. Read also "State of Fear" by Michael Crichton which explores the conspiracies and lengths to which Environmental NGO's would go to pick our pockets for their "cause".

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Actually, I have a serious question for Doris: Do you have a bach in Queentown?

    Down here they're called 'cribs'. Except in Queenstown they're called 'really really expensive'.

    And Michael Crichton. There's a serious robust source to counter those peer-reviewed journal articles written by people with PhDs and often decades of scientific experience.

    I'm going to counter that with 'Stark', by Ben Elton. Which is probably about as accurate, but hellishly funny either way.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Down here they're called 'cribs'. Except in Queenstown they're called 'really really expensive'.

    Doris: What do you call them? Cribs or baches? Can you fit your bach through the Homer Tunnel? What flavour jandals do you like? Have you ever been to Chur Bay?

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    Oh yes, Robyn, inherited it when my poor old man carked it! Want to join me and Robin's harem for a barbie? When I don't burn them, I can grill up a storm - bangers and chooks.

    Sure "State of Fear is fiction. But so was pre-9/11 book "Executive Orders" by Tom Clancy written in 1996 which describes the airliner plot by terrorists to fly the plane into the Capitol Dome, wiping out American leadership. Because so much of what these Environmental NGO's do is covert, you're never going to find out about these interesting schemes in peer-review journals.

    But hey, go to www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0703/S00430.htm

    You'd find an article called "Palm Oil & Deforestation: Truth or Fiction?" Certainly food for thought!

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    Cor blimey, Robyn! You can chew on my jandals for chrissy, I'm sure they'd taste great! My Chur Bays'd look great on you. Can we swap. I'm into Chur Bay swapping, although I'm sure our beloved Russell Brown would love to swap something else!!

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Chockasunday,

    Chill out everyone, Robin is sure taking you all for a ride!
    Keep up the good work - I particularly enjoyed Doris 3:17pm

    Wellington • Since Jan 2007 • 62 posts Report

  • Lisa Spencer,

    Legend who? Heather..is that you?

    Rangiora • Since Mar 2007 • 4 posts Report

  • Lisa Spencer,

    Count me out of the harem. I'd much rather prefer Russell's company!

    The intellect! The urbane, cultured air of sophistication! The dripping dry wit! The sharp pen! The Whiskies and blue-veined cheeses! Oooh...Russell, you're oily....I'm trying hard not to scrunch!

    Rangiora • Since Mar 2007 • 4 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Oh yes, Robyn, inherited it when my poor old man carked it!

    What, are you a 60-year-old King Country farmer?

    My Chur Bays'd look great on you. Can we swap. I'm into Chur Bay swapping, although I'm sure our beloved Russell Brown would love to swap something else!!

    Ha! Chur Bay is google-proof, ow.

    An E for effort. You're fooling no one, though seeing yiz jump through Kiwiana hoops is rather fun.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    Oh Robyn. You're beginnin to sound like my 60year old grandy! You fool no one...not when you display such a consistently mean, spiteful and inexorably malevolent spirit! That's an E for effort, and you do not need Google to show you that!

    Chill out! Relax and have some fun! Your conduct doesn't reflect well of the Anzac national psyche!

    However, if perchance, I've misread your actions and intentions, please accept my profuse and humble apologies! Deep down, I think you're really a nice gal in disguise.

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Riddley Walker,

    WTF is an "Anzac national psyche" and since when do NZers refer to themselves as Anzacs, except when talking about specific alliances with Australians? Doris, you should be aware that NZ is not part of Australia.
    Particularly poor attempt that one Robin, must try harder - perhaps the palm-oil induced carcinomas are taking affect. Maybe you could sue your employers at the industry propganda site palmoiltruth foundation for compensation?

    AKL • Since Feb 2007 • 890 posts Report

  • Sandy Howell,

    I'm so chuffed with your outburst! What is language but semantics! Anzacs or NZers, it doesn't alter the fact that we enjoy an international reputation for graciousness and big hearts! Anyone disputes that?

    I've gone into www.palmoiltruthfoundation.com and have learnt something. The saturated fat part of palm oil is extracted from the palm kernel. This oil is not sold as edible oil but is used instead for production of cosmetics (such as lipsticks), soaps and other industrial uses.

    The edible oil is extracted from the mesocarp (the fruit pulp) which contains monounsaturated and polyunsaturated oils which is heart healthy and trans fats free. It is this innate quality of palm oil that opens it to so much vicious and devious attacks!

    see http://www.palmoiltruthfoundation.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=304&Itemid=57

    to read the article "The Pot Calling the Kettle Black" to understand why palm oil is so demonized by Environmental NGO's and competing cartels. Perhaps you may now understand my passion for this much unjustifiably maligned oil!

    Why do they view palm oil as such a threat? Because it is the most productive edible oil in the world. Occupying a small footprint in planted area, palm oil has outstripped other edible oils in productivity!

    Dunedin • Since Mar 2007 • 3 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Your conduct doesn't reflect well of the Anzac national psyche!

    The more the Draper personas attempt to be Kiwis, the less authentic they seem.

    It's always interesting to see how foreigners perceive New Zealanders, though.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    My dear Riddley, let me paraphrase John Ray (Ph.D.), from Brisbane: "Most Greenie causes are, at best red herrings..." and may I add, motivated by a love for funds and grants than anything else.

    I checked out the Center for Science in the Public Interest and it was interesting to note that CSPI has an annual revenue of $16.8 million. Its infamous Director, Michael Jacobson, who has the rare distinction of earning various unflattering epithets such as Food Terrorist, Food Nazi etc.from the media, draws $200,000 a year!

    The Friends of the Earth, USA is given a rather poor rating of 1 out of a possible 4 stars by the Charity Navigator. They too have an annual revenue of $3.9 million. But remember that this NGO has chapters in the UK, Scandinavia and elsewhere. Add their kitties together and the FOE's kitty would exceed CSPI.

    Do you now understand why these are the two NGO's that have been most active in attacking palm oil! Go to http://www.palmoiltruthfoundation.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=252&Itemid=57

    to illumine yourself.

    Poor palm oil is singled out by some unseen hand and that is why "The State of Fear" is so illuminating. Crichton argues most persuasively, that the grand scheme of these NGO's is to create a "climate of fear" surrounding global warming, so that the money'd keep rolling in!

    You'd hopefully now comprehend and see the forces that are arraigned against palm oil, and why we feel so passionate about this subject! Remember, the holy grail for these environmental NGO's, is not TRUTH but funding and grants! They'd sell their soul to the devil so long as the money keeps rolling in!

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

  • Doris Parker,

    "The saturated fat part of palm oil is extracted from the palm kernel. This oil is not sold as edible oil but is used instead for production of cosmetics (such as lipsticks), soaps and other industrial uses.

    The edible oil is extracted from the mesocarp (the fruit pulp) which contains monounsaturated and polyunsaturated oils which is heart healthy and trans fats free. It is this innate quality of palm oil that opens it to so much vicious and devious attacks!"

    Dear Russell Brown, Don't you think that you owe it to your readers to correct the "palm oil is saturated fat" part of your "Listener" article?

    Queenstown • Since Mar 2007 • 16 posts Report

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