Random Play by Graham Reid

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Random Play: Step away from the lipstick, ma’am

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  • Simon Grigg,

    it was air new zealand

    I can't put this any other way....ANZ are, as an international airline, shite....I would move mountains to avoid flying with them. They are rude, expensive, understaffed, and, on most flights, the interiors are old (even the "new" upgrades only put them up there with most other airlines circa 1999).

    And then we have the Zambesi outfits....

    Adam Air offer a more pleasant, if sometimes terminal, experience (at least the pain is quick)

    Just woke up, grumpy, got that off my chest, had a coffee, and now I feel much better

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report

  • Simon Grigg,

    oh...there is a preview button?

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report

  • Simon Grigg,

    I love the way the airlines offer the elderly non English speaking couple coming to visit their kids, an apple each half an hour from Auckland. The same non-English speaking couple then are snarled at "didn't you read the declaration" by some brutish MAF person in brownshirt and hotpants, and fined $200 as a Welcome to New Zealand.

    I guess the airlines must be on a percentage.

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report

  • Julian Melville,

    We recently came through KL airport 3 times. What a difference from Auckland (and Sydney). Almost no queues anywhere, and we managed to transfer to a domestic flight in another terminal within a few minutes of landing (via the free train that comes right into the terminal building). Food, shops and entertainment remain open seemingly all night (we were there pretty late, our plane was delayed on it's journey from Dubai).

    When it's time to leave Malaysia you can check-in in the middle of KL city, your bags disappear off to the airport and you can keep wandering around for a few hours. When you feel like leaving, jump on the air-conditioned train to the airport.

    I'm inclined to pack all our airline and public transport officials off there for a while and not let them come home until they figure it out!

    Auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 200 posts Report

  • Nobody Important,

    I assumed my passport must have some invisible stamp on it. Or was it the hair? Or the t-shirt?

    I don't know what T-shirts you wear Mr Reid, but hopefully it's nothing 'edgy' because yes, that will mark you for attention. And yes, get a hair cut. Long hair on a man you age indicates you are a subservsive thinker. And yes, Customs (in any country) did have a special mark they would put on your passport which meant (once so marked) you will be checked every time.

    I know all this because a friend of mine used to be a Customs Officer last century. She also showed me where the mark went and suggested that if I ever got one I should ditch the passport and apply for a replacement. Unfortunately Big Brother is here now and so it's all on inter-linked computers. So if your name is flagged you're f#kt.

    both times when I had young children with me

    there you go - another clue on how to make the Customs process easier (unless one looks like a junkie, and the kids are mules)

    expat • Since Mar 2007 • 319 posts Report

  • Simon Grigg,

    We recently came through KL airport 3 times. What a difference from Auckland (and Sydney).

    Bangkok's new one too. And, like KL, the cafes and bars are NOT overpriced. Check in last time on a full Air Asia flight took me about 10 minutes as the six or seven counters pushed the queue through at a good rate.

    We transit thru Changi a fair bit, often with a few hours to kill and usually do that by wandering through immigration (which is a breeze and always comes with a smile and free boiled lollies!), getting an MRT train (for $2) into the city...about 25 minutes each way..and spending money in their shops and foodhalls.

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report

  • Simon Grigg,

    And then there is this

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report

  • Steve Reeves,

    Just to add to the AKL stories...

    I was coming back from Hong Kong (lovely airport, BTW, and the same city check-in as at KL amongst others...) at the same time, it seems, as at least one other large plane from SE Asia. Anyhow, probably to be helpful, the AKL "greeting" staff (usually, I'd say, people retired from their original careers, and very friendly and welcoming) were telling everyone, no matter who, to join any queue they liked, i.e. to ignore the segregation into NZ/AU/PR people and foreigners. Well, this, of course, meant that the NZers had, for example, groups of pensioners from SE Asia mixed in with them. These gorups apparently had as their sole aim making the queue go slowly... :-)

    The nasty, racist mumbles (never said too loudly, of course, because we're such nice people in NZ aren't we?) made about such groups of nice old ladies were very unpleasant. I complained about this to a (probably) husband and wife couple who were near me and being very offensive in this way, and (perhaps because I have an English accent) they also opined that perhaps I was in the wrong queue too (they were very grumpy at being welcomed back home with a long wait in a queue with foreing people really quite near to them)!

    Now, we were all tired and didn't enjoy standing in the queue for half an hour before being "processed", but the evidence that for quite a few people this nasty racism is only just below the surface was a bit of a shock.

    But AKL really should put on more staff---after all, they presumably know when to expect these plane things to land??

    Near Donny Park, Hamilton… • Since Apr 2007 • 94 posts Report

  • slarty,

    Some stuff:

    CYA Security - it's not about making us safer, it's about being able to say we did something so don't blame us;

    http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/02/cya_security_1.html

    This is the article where he coins the term "Security Theater", which has now entered the lexicon in the security industry (and don't forget, like all conflict, it is a great way to make money);

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Security_theater

    Homeland insecurity: another magnificent article from Atlantic. I presume 60% of Americans can't read, or they wouldn't put up with all the cr4p.

    http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200209/mann

    The Cato institute nail it...

    http://www.cato.org/pub_display.php?pub_id=2865

    This is the web site of the community of airport screeners.
    Check out their T shirts.

    http://www.tsa-screeners.com/start/index.php

    And finally, you think you got it bad?

    http://www.stupidsecurity.com/

    [PS. I reckon Auckland is pretty good by any standard other than the huge money pits in places like KL)

    Since Nov 2006 • 290 posts Report

  • Simon Grigg,

    [PS. I reckon Auckland is pretty good by any standard other than the huge money pits in places like KL)

    it doesn't cost a lot to smile...

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report

  • dyan campbell,

    Stephen Judd wrote:

    Yeah, I'm looking forward to bypassing the good old USA via Vancouver, unless they lighten up soon.

    They still have common sense in Canada, don't they?

    Unfortunately the last time I went through Vancouver Airport the US had set up their own US checkpoint right smack in the middle of the airport. They're like an occupying force.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report

  • Felix Marwick,

    Never mind Auckland, and forget about America. When it comes to true paranoia and the full security rigmarole try flying El Al out of Tel Aviv.

    Admittedly they have good reason to take especial care but I was a little taken aback at the treatment I got (and this was before 9/11).

    I'd heeded the warnings about their rigorous procedures and check my bags in 2 days in advance in Jerusalm. All my gear was gone through with a fine tooth comb. Poked, prodded, xrayed, wrapped up in special security tape and then locked up in a specal conatiner which they sent to the airport.

    After checking in the same procedure was repeated a further three times. The last one done just 10 metres away (in the same room) as the previous bag rummage had been carried out. In fact the person who had made me empty my bag the first time managed to come and oversee the third repeat of the experience. I can only assume he was making sure his colleagues hadn't slipped a small terrorist in my backpack when his back was turned.

    To cap it off they refused to carry my nargile pipe because it was a security risk. However they were quite happy for me to airfreight it out on another airline. I guess their reasoning was "well as long as it's not our plane that goes up in smoke ...."

    Oh and a travel tip; when entering Israel from Jordan do not walk across the Allenby/King Hussein Bridge. Especially if you're wearing a Palestinian kheffiyah. For some reason it makes the border guards very nervous/

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 200 posts Report

  • Nobody Important,

    Unfortunately the last time I went through Vancouver Airport the US had set up their own US checkpoint right smack in the middle of the airport. They're like an occupying force.

    Unfortunately any plane that flies over US airspace is required to follow 'the law' as set by the US. This includes a plane that may later fly over US airspace ie if you fly NZ to Japan, and the plane later flies on to the US, the flight ex-NZ is subject to these regulations. The plane doesn't have to land in the US, just fly over its airpspace, in order to be subject to these regulations.

    In short the US has dictated how the rest of the world must 'secure' its flights. It's one small step for them, one giant leap backwards for mankind. In Dubya We Trust

    expat • Since Mar 2007 • 319 posts Report

  • dyan campbell,

    Nobody Important wrote:

    Unfortunately any plane that flies over US airspace is required to follow 'the law' as set by the US. This includes a plane that may later fly over US airspace ie if you fly NZ to Japan, and the plane later flies on to the US, the flight ex-NZ is subject to these regulations. The plane doesn't have to land in the US, just fly over its airpspace, in order to be subject to these regulations.

    In short the US has dictated how the rest of the world must 'secure' its flights. It's one small step for them, one giant leap backwards for mankind. In Dubya We Trust



    The US Customs checkpoint is set up to screen passengers entering Canada from the USA - we weren't flying anywhere from there.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report

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