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Speaker: Dancing with Dingoes, Part I

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  • Carol Stewart,

    It may be apocryphal, but apparently an Aussie nurse once said:

    You're going home today

    and the NZ patient heard:

    You're going home to die

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 830 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    My Australian great-Aunt Lyla. teased mercilessly by her nephews with "a bison is what yer wash yer fice in".

    Actually, just in case you're feeling a bit put-upon, Sally, there was a joke I heard when I was over visiting my "Ostrayan" brother: How do you get a Kiwi into a small business? You puteem een a beeg business and leave heem to eet!

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    I have no energy today. I nearly fell asleep on the beach. All right for some, I guess. I think everyone's exhausted from the winter. They're swimming with relief.
    I planted a vege garden on the weekend. My first. I have never owned enough land before. How long does a lettuce take to mature from a single leaf?

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Ross Mason,

    One of the best lines in Kath and Kim. Along the lines of: "It's Ok, we've got lots of money, we're effluent."

    Edit: Found it:

    "I want to be effluent mum!" "You are effluent Kimi..." (i.e., affluent) - Kath and Kim

    From Malapropism

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    Yes, Kath and Kim. The best of oz tv. It's always funniest when you're laughing at yourself, right?

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    I forgot to say that I am signing off now in a bid to cut back on the power bill which has topped $300 this month. M is having seizures.

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    I planted a vege garden on the weekend.
    My first...

    I forgot to say that I am signing off now in a bid to cut back on the power bill which has topped $300 this month.

    I'm worried you may have left the electric blanket, on the new vegetable bed, on...
    ;- )

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    Ian: You are a funny man. Your concern is touching.

    No, the power bill is almost entirely on computers, at least that's what my sons' father reckons. And for the record, I've never needed an electric blanket...

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    How long does a lettuce take to mature from a single leaf?

    Oer, Sally, you're worrying me! Tell me you put in some seedlings, please.

    If you want lovely lettuce leaves, you can't do better than some of the ones you can pick leaves off as they grow. Red Oaks, Green Oaks, Quartre Saissons (which are really good hot weather lettuces). I think the hearting lettuces are too much trouble, but that's just me. I get too impatient to wait.

    But isn't it lovely to have a garden to grow stuff in? I can't wait to get out and plant some Sweet 100 tomatoes, and some beans....plaster comes off in SEVEN DAYS!!!!! Roll on next Thursday!!

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    Oh Jacqui, don't tell me you've been in plaster too! My younger son has just had his arm cast removed. Great palava the whole exercise was. I feel for you.

    I'm afraid I did not plant lettuce seedlings. I realised after posting that question that I had probably given the wrong message to some that I was attempting to grow a lettuce from a single leaf. Now that would be silly.

    No. I have several leaves. Each little plant came in its own pottle together with three or four leaves.
    The garden is all very experimental at this stage. Fortunately my daughter has taken charge of the watering, so there is some hope. She is, however, a teenager.
    I will look for those lettuces you recommended. All the best for Thursday. Thanks.

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    I'm feeling better now, thanks, due to:

    1. Got my MacBook back, all loaded up with 500gig hard drive (the other 160gig drive failed), Snow Leopard (it was originally Tiger), and a new CD/DVD burner, so I can leave the horrible Windows computer to fiddle around slowly, on its own!

    2. Yes, the end is in sight for the broken ankle. Thanks to my sister's good ministrations and the bottle of arnica symphytum, I'm fairly confident I'll be back walking and driving, instead of hobbling around on crutches.

    So I am a happy camper at last.

    Gardening tips for the newbie: get two or three Sweet 100 tomatoes. They bear truly delicious little tomatoes, and because they're small, they are not prone to getting diseases or bugs, like some of the bigger tomatoes. Water them deeply and give them lots of mulch. Eat masses and slow roast the excess.
    Plant radishes. Quick yield. Really encouraging for new gardeners.

    Of course, if you already know stuff about gardening, just ignore this. I'm an enthusiastic, if mistake-prone gardener, but the few successes I've had over the years drive me on.

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    Thanks Jacqui. I think I have just planted three varieties of tomatoes, none of them the best sort you recommend. What a dunce! I will amend that. And don't worry, I know nothing about gardening so can do with the help.

    I would hate to break an ankle. I've torn an Achilles, that was bad enough. Hope it mends quickly for you - and your garden.

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    The biggest mistake I made with tomatoes was not picking out the laterals. Actually, when you have picked them out, if you put them in water they'll sprout.....so, more tomato plants! Brilliant.

    But, if you don't pick out the laterals, after a while you'll find this massive conglomeration of branching tomato, which will be hard to brace when fruit appears - and I think (might be mistaken here) that it actually delays fruit setting, because the plants are so busy making new shoots and growing leaves.

    This probably drains my tomato knowledge....

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    Jacqui: I think there's more to this grow-your-own enterprise than the right wing would have us believe....

    On the weekend my husband planted (more like poured) some radish seeds amongst the carrot seeds I had painstakingly arranged as per the instructions on the packet. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up with purple carrots or orange radishes - or purple-orange cadishes.

    I'm afraid I am not holding out much hope for my inferior tomatoes either, though I did plant them in a trough, which should at least contain their lateral aspirations.

    More hopefully, I have begun laying a brick path using bricks taken from an old church - with god's blessing (let's hope). I am quietly confident this holy path will help nurture my garden and ensure at least two of each species survives... For extra insurance I have planted garlic.

    Please feel free to pray for me - and my garden...

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    purple carrots

    Got some of those! And some white ones. And some yellow ones.
    The radishes are quick to sprout and grow, the carrots much slower. I think you'll be OK.

    Please, though, make sure your bricks don't grow moss on them. They're treacherously slippery in the wet.

    Prayers being offered as I write:)

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    Been there done that got the purple carrots to prove it, eh? And I thought I was being original....So much to learn.
    If we pray every day do you think we might keep that devil moss away???

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    Well, you can have a go at that, Sally - for myself, I think every little thing has its place, including moss. As long as the sun gets to it for a good while every day, you shouldn't have too much trouble. But bricks often have little hollows.....so be warned.

    However, great to get started. There's nothing like a salad made out of stuff from your garden! :)

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    Jacqui, are you per chance trying to tell me something? Yes, I believe you are. Fair enough. Let me just say I have nothing against moss, I believe it was you who made mention of its potential menace. In fact moss and me are like this (X)...Fortunately the path gets the afternoon sun, or it will when completed. Funny how moss is so much easier to grow than vegetables. Mysterious ways and all that, I guess...

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    Sally, do you realize we're playing blog ping-pong? :))

    So, when's part 2 likely to turn up here?

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    Not that this is not enjoyable, but I suspect you're far too polite to let me comment without responding....right?

    (I'm OK if you don't, promise!!)

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • David Haywood,

    I once witnessed my (former) neighbour cleaning the moss from his brick path with a scrubbing brush. When I greeted him he said, "Hell David, you look healthy today -- as fit as a trout!" I'd never heard that particular expression before ('as fit as a trout'), and two hours later the neighbour was dead. True story.

    P.S. Just to make it perfectly clear, I did not kill the neighbour; he suffered a heart attack.

    P.P.S. My other neighbour also cleaned the moss from his brick path, and also suffered a heart attack, and also died. But happily he was revived, and is still walking around happily to this day. He had his heart attack while giving a lecture to the staff of the cardiac unit, which is a very sensible place to have a heart attack.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Scrubbers...

    ... two hours later the neighbour was dead

    Aha! That would explain Keith Richards
    longevity then...



    ...a Rolling Stone gathers no moss!


    ps:

    ...as fit as a trout!

    he was possibly fishing for a compliment...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • sally jones,

    Jacqui: I respond to your comments because I appreciate your contributions, though I realise ping-pong on moss and tomatoes is probably not quite on task as far as the greater PAS enterprise goes.

    To be honest, this is my first real experience of blogging and, if I'm to believe my 17year-old son, my (carelessly punched) lower case login name is enough in itself to alert any experienced blogger to my shameful status as a total novice, or noob (?), in his lingo, and dismiss anything I have to say. Certainly it would seem that the comments I've made on other PA threads of a more serious nature (I call her Serious Sally) have been ignored, which does suggest a preference out there for lower case joker Sally (silly sally, as I call her). Feel free to knock yourself out on that, Ian. Unfortunately I'm a bit like Tara and can't be sure which version will wake up of a morning. So as to part 2 of DWD, I'm not sure. I'm writing various things at the moment - all of them seriously silly.
    David: Always thought there was something fishy about you (You got me into this blogging business - you big trout you!). No. You're a good fish, a champion swimmer, and I am your grateful and humble disciple (can't think of a fishy substitute - Ian?).

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    Please do not dilly-dally, silly sally. Seriously, Serious, Part 2 is eagerly awaited by this poster.

    And David, I guess you've been busy - haven't seen much from you in the last little while. A man of (wait for it!) mosstery!!

    Ta da!!

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    a well read Herring aide...?

    No. You're a good fish, a champion swimmer, and I am your grateful and humble disciple (can't think of a fishy substitute...

    Never one to shilly-shally Sally,
    I'll rise to your alluring bait...

    Despite the fact that Trout is an anagram
    of Tutor, I don't think that they school like
    other fish.
    The same goes for the Grouper
    (though they do keep harems!)

    I have to admit I am Floundering for a
    simply Brill substitute, so all I've got are
    these Crappie puns...

    ...it's a hard Roe to ho ho ho ho
    ;- )


    PS: I'd keep your serious (Uppercase Sally) comments coming as well...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

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