Posts by Megan Wegan
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Che Tibby,
It was...Well, I just wanted to scream at her, "what the hell are you thinking? I played barbies with you yesterday! You're a BABY."
But I was very aware that she wouldn't listen to me if I said that, and I felt the need to tell her some things - things I am sure her mother had told her. Also that if I freaked out that she'd never want to talk to me again, and that then she might have _no one_ to talk to, and that would be much, much worse.
I basically went with "well, I don't think you should, I think you should wait. But if you are going to, here's some things you need to know (protection/consent/how to avoid a uti,etc)"
She's now at university, and still with the guy, so I must have done OK.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Che Tibby,
I do enjoy bringing a note of levity to these very serious conversations.
I once talked to the 14 year old daughter of a close friend, who came to me to tell me she was thinking about having sex with her 15 year old boyfriend. Hardest conversation I've ever had.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Che Tibby,
I once touched a boy's knee. It didn't lead anywhere, though maybe my hand was facing the wrong direction?
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Che Tibby,
“they can’t possibly be old enough!”
For handholding? You are getting old!
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to BenWilson,
If it helps, I was one of them, and I know of two others. I saw it before the diesmvowelling, and I burst into tears. At my desk. At work. For Reasons, I have pretty big issues with what you said (though I hasten to add that I have never assaulted anyone). It wasn't "triggering" in the strictest sense, but I was pretty upset.
That's the thing about these kinds of conversations, you can never tell whether something you might say might trigger someone. Which is why the mods have to work really hard to stop it, if you want this to be a safe space. And why people should chose their words really carefully.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Emma Hart,
However. I don't see how noting that something might be "triggering" acts to shut down or limit a conversation.
And it is probably something that is worth erring on the side of caution on.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Bart Janssen,
It isn’t about a culture causing them to rape. It is about a culture that has failed to figure out how to stop them raping. That’s why I dislike the “rape culture” thing, it feels like explaining rape as part of the culture.
Not so much the culture causing them to rape, but as Emma said, enabling them and excusing them from doing it.
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And from that very same blog, the point that there's no such thing as "good" girls and "bad" girls.
If we are dedicated to promoting the collective power of girls and women, we cannot police their sexuality in an attempt to make girls “good.” For girls like Hope Witsell–whose photos were released to classmates without her consent–we need to offer support and encouragement rather than exhorting her to be a good girl. Ultimately, we would be wise to heed Tanenbaum’s words, not Witherspoon’s, because a world without slut-shaming is one that’s “good” for everyone.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to Emma Hart,
I have my problems with some of the use of “rape culture”, as I do with a bunch of other terms (mansplaining, ‘bingo squares’) that I feel are sometimes used to dismiss people or shut down discussions. But only sometimes.
I actually have more problem with mansplaining, as it is so often used to keep men out of the conversation. But yeah.
They normalise their behaviour. They think most men do it, and if they don’t it’s just because they’re too chicken-shit. So every rape joke, every shitty sexist remark, every bit of victim-blaming plays into that delusion. And so does every silence in the face of those remarks.
That's actually incredibly frightening.
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Up Front: Respectably-Dressed Sensible…, in reply to giovanni tiso,
And that essence makes them the custodians of everyone’s morality, which is why they aren’t allowed to be sexually agressive – or in some respects sexual at all.
I believe this is the "internal chastity orb" Emma and I cackle over occasionally.
I will watch that doco when I am not at work.