Posts by Josh Addison
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Most of the time I'm a man of simple wardrobe, although I did once own a pair of metallic red PVC pants (I knew goths). They were never really me, but damn they were shiny. For a while it was all I could do to not constantly stroke my own thighs whenever I sat down in them.
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I remember my first Tom Landry's hat moment ("Why, I couldn't buy that expensive Swamp Thing Comic With the First Appearance of John Constantine -- I'd need some sort of disposable income -- oh, wait...")
These days, though, I'm going the opposite way -- not necessarily in terms of class, but definitely in income and spending. Going from paying rent to having a big-ass mortgage, then going from two incomes to one with the birth of the Young Man has meant belt-tightening after belt-tightening. I had to sell my old PS2 games on Trademe so I could buy new PS3 ones ...
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And yet, for me it's only when I'm dancing can feel this free ...
See, I always assumed that dancing was a metaphor for sex there -- at night she locks the door so no-one else can see her "dancing" by herself; tonight she wants to "dance" with someone else...
Sure, it sounds ruder when I add square quotes, but what doesn't?
(I'd also like to add that I didn't watch the attached video and am quoting the lyrics from memory. I am old. And possibly a little gay.)
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And while we're talking about social activities that make no sense to me at all and serve only to inspire fear and bitterness: dancing.
I'm with Charlie Brooker:
The few occasions on which I've allowed myself to be dragged onto a dance floor have been the most painfully awkward and inwardly cringing of my life.
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I scored a 15 on that test. I am surprised it wasn't lower, but I think my essential wishy-washiness means I had way too many 'slightly dis/agree' answers.
Yeah, I find any quizes or surveys that include "agree/strongly agree" options end up telling far more about my inability to commit to an unequivocal opinion than anything else.
24, for what it's worth.
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A little bit different - I'll hug anyone (I always would have, but no one used to volunteer), but public speaking still gives me the shits.
Ah, public speaking -- that's a funny beast. I have no problem with public speaking, provided I know what I'm going to say in advance. Giving a speech or a presentation that I've prepared myself holds no terror for me, but I'll go to lengths to avoid having to make conversation at a birthday party for one of my wife's friends where I don't know many of the people there.
In the same way, I found working retail in my youth very helpful -- social interaction with dozens of complete strangers every day, but social interaction with parameters very clearly defined in advance(they're here to buy stuff; I'm here to sell it to them).
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I went the other way - started in Engineering, realised I hated it one-and-a-bit years in, moved to an Arts degree (Philosphy and Linguistics, though - no 19th C. Literature for me).
I find that, while I can't carry a conversation on my own, I can respond at the same level as whoever I'm talking with - I need them to supply the energy and I'll just reflect it. That said, among the group of guys I hung around with in Engineering, I'm pretty sure I was the outgoing one...
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Here's a story just for you Aging Gen-Xer Doesn't Find Bad Movies Funny Anymore
Nah - I still find bad films plenty funny. I've just seen so many (so, so many) that I have, I'm a little surprised to find, turned into a bit of a wanker about them. The attention the The Room gets just rubs me the wrong way (especially since it's barely bad -- I'd just call it plain old incompetent).
If anything, I figure it should be celebrated -- that a man with no discernable talent as a writer, director or actor should be able to write, direct and act in film if he wants to is truly a marvel of modern society.
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I said this at the time; I stand by it.
(Summary for the link-averse: it turns out I'm a massive snob when it comes to bad movies, and have no time for this sort of cinematic slumming. There is, quite likely, something horribly wrong with me.)
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I only have one interesting story about neighbours, which I've written about elsewhere - why cut-n-paste the whole lot when I can cut-n-paste a link? Ah, the Internet.