Dear Islander --
firstly -- I am grateful that you are sharing your experience & telling your story (however this was triggered);
but secondly -- I think you may have misinterpreted or overreacted to Ben's message, which was simply "this is not how it should be, ideally" -- which seems true enough of the situation your mum was left in, too.
... which is to say, I respect that both of you have genuinely-held positions, which I strongly suspect are not as much in conflict as it would appear.
Kia ora linger - it was the word 'now'.
Ben thoughtfully or otherwise used the word 'now' which implied/implies to me he thinks it is a new happening.
I pointed out - it sure as shit isnt.
I thank you for your thoughtful ajudication BUT stand by my comments.
Ideally, the world(human) would be different: actually, the world (human) continueth on it's own nasty way. And basically, not a lot changes-