Posts by David Haywood
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Aidan wrote:
Born and bred in Palmy, living in Canberra. Now awash with self doubt.
Don't be! I'm originally from Kelston (in West Auckland). Palmie is culturally above Kelston by roughly the same ratio that Paris is above Palmie.
Also, with respect to Canberra, I really think it's a credit to the Australians that they make such a bad job of their attempts at fascist architecture.
blindjackdog wrote:
Comparison of two dissimilar things using "like" or "as" [is] a simile.
Yes, quite right. I did know that, but clearly had a momentary mental lapse.
Mark Thomas wrote:
I didn't understand that bit about the kangaroos.
When we were driving into Canberra we actually saw this by the side of the motorway (i.e. small dead kangaroo with its head up big dead kangaroo's bum). It looked like the poor old big kangaroo had died giving birth except that kangaroos are marsupial, so such a scenario would be impossible. I can only assume that the scene was choreographed by someone with the famous Australian sense of humour. Although, if anyone has a better explanation than this, I'd like to know.
Paul Robeson wrote
You should do a book of these with just rambling yarns...
Aha! That's an idea... (and liked your take on it as well)
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Just quickly before I collapse exhausted into a fitful slumber...
Deborah wrote:
Not a happy metaphor. At all.
I felt that the metaphor (in NZ dialect) was consistent with the dubious character of the narrator. Perhaps this isn't sufficiently clear (and let's face it, I'm wrong about lots of things) -- so sincere apologies if any offense was caused. I'll think about it some more while we're travelling over the next couple of days.
You can't sell this... because it's clearly not true.
I'll remind you, Deborah (with your fancy-schmancy Ph.D.) that all of the Bollard anecdotes are guaranteed to be 100 per cent true. However, I will concede that this figure represents an average of trueness over the whole anecdote. While some parts (such as the description of Canberra) are up to 900 per cent true, other parts (such as arrival by plane vs. say, driving from Sydney) are only 2-3 per cent true. Overall, though, the average trueness is never less than 100 per cent.
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Matthew Poole wrote:
... is it bad that I actually didn't know off the top of my head who Tony Veitch is?
Until I started reading this thread, I thought that Tony Veitch was the slapper weather-lady from TV3. The one with the weird stream-of-consciousness technique: "Large orifice-like clouds will be squirting golden showers over Timaru..."
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Emma Hart wrote:
Bless you. Exactly what I needed.
Here at PA we aim to please!
Ian Llewellyn wrote:
Hunter S Thompson meets monetary policy.
Oh, that's good. May I quote you on that?
Whoops wrote:
Too much punctuation to be Kerouac, not enough drug use to be HST... but could def. be turned into a film by Tarantino.
Now that you mention it, I see Russell Crowe playing Bollard.
James Francis wrote:
Please, please let it be true.
PA guarantees that all of the Bollard anecdotes are completely true. However, I can tell you candidly that the description of Canberra in this anecdote is considerably more true than the rest of the story -- probably about 900 per cent true.
Apology in Advance:
I'm writing this from a diabolically expensive internet connection in Sydney, and will be travelling tomorrow -- so apologies in advance if I don't manage to answer any questions that come up on this thread over the next day or so... although I'll do my best to find an internet café somewhere. -
Glad you liked it, Ann (if 'like' is the right word). It was written a decade or so back, and I just thought I'd post it at the same time as 'The Moon and McNulty', partly to answer this request from Kyle Matthews.
I hasten to add that there's a large dose of poetic licence in it. The story was based partly on a conversation with my grandfather a few days before he died, but also on something told me by a friend, and a dream I had following my grandfather's death. Although I think, in some ways, it does capture the (at times) contradictory nature of his personality.
I should perhaps also add that I don't personally believe in anything supernatural.
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K.J. Aldous wrote:
" ... the surface of a catenoid has a mean curvature of zero ... " Are you sure? A catenary's curvature does not change sign - the second derivative of the function is the function itself, which is everwhere >= 0.
Oh, I'm talking about mean curvature in the sense of the mean of the curvatures at the surface of a body, i.e. the minimal area thing.
Personally I only have a vague awareness of catenoids from the equations for heat propagation in 3D. I've never had anything to do with a real catenoid -- except perhaps making them inadvertently (instead of paraboloids) on telescope mirrors; and, you know, in the bath.
Incidentally, "cosy catenaries" would be more poetically rendered as "coshy catenaries"
This gave me a rare 'laugh out loud' moment -- very clever!
... but at this point, I'm going to take the hint from Jackie Clark and quietly retire without revealing too much of my inner geek.
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Kerry Weston wrote:
You know I've only ever got on a plane twice in my life? I was hoping for a third trip, sometime in the not too distant, but kathleen kennedy's eyeballs might be my undoing.
Don't let me put you off! Planes are wonderful fun -- I'd even say that this trip was fun (in the "I'm glad I didn't die" sort of way).
Mind you, they're not as safe as people think. The probability of fatality is usually quoted on a per kilometre basis -- but if you look at the (perhaps more appropriate) per hour-of-travel-time basis, then you're better off going for a ride in a car or having a nice walk.
K. J. Aldous (oh noble person with the same gravatar as me) wrote:
"... hills humped in cosy catenaries" It's not immediately clear why hills would assume this form. Do you have any references on the topic?
At first I thought the silhouettes of the hills might be parabolas, but on closer inspection I decided they were catenaries.
I seem to recall that the surface of a catenoid has a mean curvature of zero, so I'm going to postulate that the shape is due to the effects of sub-surface wave erosion on an (ultimately) up-thrust sea bed, or maybe an unusual consequence of the recession and advance of glaciers.
An alternative explanation is that one or more very large regular polygons (discounting a triangle, of course) have rolled across the landscape at some point. For the latter explanation, it's possible that the polygons were of extra-terrestrial origin. On the other hand, they may have been manufactured by the ancient Celts who lived in New Zealand.
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And just to totally change the subject...
At midnight on the last day of June, can I pat the other PAers on the back for this being the first month when we've exceeded 55 thousand unique readers (56,491 to be precise -- with a mean visiting time of 8 minutes).
And that would also be a staggering 7 million hits this month -- 50 per cent more than the number of people in the country.
What's North & South's circulation down to these days?
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bob daktari wrote:
The original PO Building I am sure is gone now - it was falling down and wasn't worth maintaining if memory serves...
Thanks for the correction, Bob -- I've emended that section of the post!
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Sorry not to have replied earlier -- had a fractious baby all morning. But delighted that you guys have enjoyed my ramblings.
Apologies for visiting homesickness upon your mother, Danielle. Despite only living there for five months we feel rather homesick for Southland as well.
bob daktari wrote:
I spent my childhood years summering on Ulva... magic place
Lucky chap!
you might want to count the number of buildings on Ulva
I was told that there was only one main building. We couldn't get close (private property) but there did appear to be several surrounding structures. My assumption was that these were add-ons, or outbuildings counted as part of the original PO building. Let me know if this is incorrect, Bob, and I'll modify the original post.
By the way, I think Southland is the nicest part of NZ by a very long way. I'd be interested if anyone can anyone nominate anywhere (in NZ) nicer?
P.S. We also enjoyed the museum, Shep. But rain made a bus ride attractive (until we discovered the price).