Posts by David Haywood
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Thanks for thinking of me, Kerry. I've already written the first paragraph:
Rthhyfl raised her gthydf towards the uyhts. "I have journeyed a thousand thyopters from Rtyjhgsdt to bring the Gthydf of Tyibfdfa to the peoples of Huibgsjhg," she proclaimed. "I hope it will help with the evolution of your species."
Although, on the other hand, I've always been taken by the idea that insects might evolve in a manner that enables them to exploit the social (as opposed to physical) aspects of human society.
Imagine a giant cockroach that could mimic a man in a suit. It would only need a thimbleful of neurons to make a few basic sounds such as "This is political correctness gone mad!", and it could have a cosy life as a radio talk-back host or a member of parliament.
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Thanks for the kind comments everyone -- I'm very glad that my words have provided some entertainment...
Raymond A Francis wrote:
On Friday we drive south, cross the infamous Foveaux and spend the weekend on Stewart Island. I have not as yet been sea sick but your description of the southern sea did not steady my nerves...
I'm sure it'll be great. Bob and I shall wave across the strait to you on our morning walk -- look for us about 30 minutes after sunrise (sunrise = 8.15 o'clock-ish down here).
Graeme H wrote:
Cold! it's only May, it hasn't started to get cold yet. Cold is when the water drops on the shower walls freeze on impact.
Hooray, something to look forward to...
Rich of Observationz wrote:
Have you seen an aurora, or do they not really happen that far north?
We haven't -- but I've seen aurorae several times in CHCH, so they definitely come this far north. Will keep you advised...
Bob Munro wrote:
... we should be able to figure out what the large flocks are. I reckon they are possibly, Turnstone, Southern Black Backed Gull or White Fronted Tern.
I shall study the document that you've identified, Bob. The flocks must be in the tens of thousands, I should think. They seem to be diving for fish (if that helps pin down their identity).
dc_red wrote:
On the topic of eels and pigs, one would think babies would be more appreciative of being changed. Especially bad ones, whose parents might readily be tempted to say: "well, fine, then, have it your way"?
Such a thought has definitely crossed my mind. I'm hoping that as the years pass -- and as Paul Rowe suggests -- we'll somehow become more skilled at the job.
Emma Hart wrote
Appreciative as I am of the absolute bliss of being awake and creative while everyone else is asleep, I'm a little worried that on this schedule you're going to come home, sack some miners, impose a poll tax, and demolish the welfare state.
As you've rightly guessed -- like my hero Margaret Thatcher -- I only require four hours sleep each zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
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Just heading off to the big city (Invercargill), but want to quickly register my profound rejection of IS's unworthy comments. Shame on you! I'm hoping that Southland is twenty years ahead of the rest of NZ: low crime, low unemployment, high per capita income, and plenty of tea-rooms. Possibly too many cows, I admit.
Raymond: Thanks for the tip on the mystery birds...
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Deborah wrote:
How old is that child? And he's saying 'dog' already! He's clearly gifted.
"Dog" appeared at 10.5 months -- but I fear that this is more a tribute to an obsessive personality than any degree of giftedness. His limited brainpower is entirely devoted to dogs, trucks, doors, lights, and food.
As are you sir, when it comes to Photoshop. That's the only explanation for those colours over Foveaux Strait.
Ha! The colours in the first photo of Foveaux strait are actually a bit funny for some reason, but the second is reasonably accurate I think.
Paul Dowden wrote:
Does the Thyme Out Tea Rooms recipe have that soupçon of finely chopped onion?
Hell, yes! Nola's stated ingredients are cheese, evaporated milk, mustard, chopped onion, and also Worcestershire sauce (I think). There may be pepper and so on in small quantities.
I don't know why Cheese Rolls aren't more widely publicized. Can't they teach anything useful in schools?
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Some excellent news for lefties, I just realized, involves the soprano ukulele and also the (sadly, rather obscure these days) banjolele.
When playing either of these instruments left-handed you simply flip it over and play the right-handed chords upside down.
In the conventional (right-handed) orientation it is nearly impossible to play an open D major chord unless you have fingers like toothpicks. But for a lefty it's just a partial barre over the G, C, and E strings.
It seems to me that this is well worth some minor inconvenience with tin-openers, lifts, and so on.
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Danyl Mclauchlan wrote:
WFF certainly strikes me as redistribution of capital from the individual to the community; its not classic Marx since it privileges those with families over those without but its still a centrally organized redistribution of wealth. If it ain't socialism (a) what would you call it, and (b) what is?
By this definition, all taxation is socialism.
I'd agree it would be socialism if the government took all of your capital (this would be your savings in terms of money) into community ownership, but surely 'Working for families' is just a variation on a normal taxation regime--effectively it just sees children as reducing the real income that you have to pay tax upon.
There are other ways that you can do this (e.g. levying tax on total family income rather than individual income), but this has obvious difficulties.
By the way, taking children into account when setting tax policy seems astonishingly sensible and obvious to me (and I thought this even before I had one of my own).
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Andrew Smith wrote:
Aside from the 'gay mafia' jibe, it urks me when we are supposed to be grateful for someone returning our own money to us! I'm a breeder (5 and finished), and I gladly take Working for Families payments to help out...
Quite right, Andrew!
How much better your world would be if you could keep all of "your money" -- and simply have everybody else subsidize your children's education, your children's health, your parents' superannuation, your use of the roads, and having the police protect you from crims.
Seriously, you do get services for the tax you pay, Andrew, and I suggest that (with five children) you're getting a massively bigger bang for your tax dollar than most other people.
However, lets start with getting rid of the socialist traversty called Working for Families.
I can name half-a-dozen families of my acquaintance whose lives have been dramatically improved by 'Working for Families'. I don't think they'd view it as a travesty.
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Very nice post, Emma...
Do you know if there's any correlation between left-handedness and increased co-ordination? At one stage I seem to recall seeing that the top target-shooters in the world were all lefties. My Jennifer (a lefty) is lethal with a rifle, causing any observers to comment that they wouldn't want their spouse to be quite such a good shot.
On the colour-blindness thing, I did a few electrical eng. papers in my degree. This had a practical component in the high-voltage laboratory and I was partnered with a colour-blind bloke. He was quite nervous wiring things up, because he reckoned it was easy for him to get the red and green wires confused. Red in this case being 450 volts different from green.
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Oops, I seem to have missed a couple of posts on this thread that I should have replied to...
Stephanie wrote:
Does this mean we can look forward to another story where you WERE the person who was stabbed?
It's a story that I'd rather forget -- but, yes, it will probably get a mention in a forthcoming piece about high school (writing in progress, but not expected to be finished for another year or so). By the way, notice how I lose my sense of humour when I'm the guy being stabbed.
Jackie Clark wrote:
Really, David, you have to think about publishing such stories.
Thank you for the kind words, Jackie. Actually, thanks to a suggestion from another PA reader, I've spent the weekend blocking something out and running some numbers. It may, in fact, be possible not to lose money on such a proposition. I'm going to run the idea past my usual 'brains trust' of David Slack, Emma Hart, and Creon Upton and see what they think. But, having said all that, my concept is probably crap.
Bob Munro wrote:
Ah, so this was a crime passionnel . I trust the stabber received a suitably light sentence?
Actually, there is some question about this. I'd always remembered being told that the stabber got sent to gaol, but my father has suggested that he may not have actually served time; and that he may, in fact, have escaped conviction on a crime passionnel basis, as you suggest.
One day I might have to go through some old newspapers and find out...
Incidentally, my mother tells me that the police finally nabbed the stabber when he became entangled in a grapevine.
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Tim Michie wrote:
Is your uncle visiting soon..? I've the feeling that this is a story that would work regardless of you knowing how it went...
Sorry Tim, I should clarify: my uncle's version of the story was only performed around the dinner table -- not in his professional capacity (although I'm sure he'd make a fantastic job of it on stage).
Paul Robeson wrote:
...is this a true story?
The major details are true, as noted here. Some poetic licence has been taken, of course.
Ian MacKay wrote
Have you considered entering the Katherine Mansfield short story Competition. You should!
Thanks for the flattering comments, Ian... No, I can honestly say that this has never crossed my mind. I have pretensions to readibility in my prose -- not to mention a desire to connect with my audience!