Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Of Tweets and Twats

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  • JackElder,

    This may be the wrong time to admit that I use the word "motherfucker" as a casual greeting. But yeah, mainly to people I know well.

    One of my happiest moments during a work performance review was when my manager said to me - and I quote directly - "The goal "improve professional attitude in the office" just means stop swearing so fucking much, it's annoying the Americans."

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    "Ah, but in a hundred years, who knows? And why wait? That was my point. I certainly didn't mean it in its contemporary usage."

    yeah but meaning is important, that's why these words are important.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    yeah but meaning is important, that's why these words are important.

    Well, in that case I'm gonig to have to ask you to kindly refrain from using n****r for a few more decades if you wouldn't mind. Because it doesn't yet mean what you think it might one day mean. Not for white kids anyhow.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7404 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    i guess that word is under debate with the young 'uns, ..it's on all their records.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    "Not for white kids anyhow."

    "I'm thinking that you guys may not have witnessed one middle-class North Shore white boy greet another with the words "Yo, my nigga" ..."

    It's happening, call the police.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    And I'm saying their twats, is all.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7404 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    And I'm saying their twats, is all.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7404 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    By which I mean they're.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7404 posts Report Reply

  • Caleb D'Anvers,

    I'm thinking that you guys may not have witnessed one middle-class North Shore white boy greet another with the words "Yo, my nigga" ...

    Now that's some messed-up shit.

    Hip hop is the new Westie culture. Goodbye purple Torana; hello, tricked out Evo VII. Goodbye AC/DC; hello Jay Z. Or something like that.

    East Greenwich • Since Mar 2008 • 435 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    ":And I'm saying their twats, is all."

    two friends saying hello that's all.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Jake Pollock,

    I'm thinking that you guys may not have witnessed one middle-class North Shore white boy greet another with the words "Yo, my nigga" ...

    I am a middle-class North Shore white boy, and I most certainly have witnessed such a thing.

    I'm not interested in banning words. I was merely pointing out that using the word in polite company in the United States will land you in impolite company in fairly short order. It's something that, for some reason, Americans are sensitive about. Eyes cloud over, blood runs cold, voices get raised. It taps directly into deep-seated anxieties, and although I only understand it in an abstract way, I know enough to know that there are very few contexts in which its use is acceptable, and that it is better exercise caution.

    I would also point out that it's not our word, as New Zealanders, to reclaim. To New Zealanders its an abstract historical problem, an artefact of a foreign (though dominant) culture, and not part of a lived, day to day reality. We have enough of our own historical anxieties to deal with without weighing in on other peoples.

    Raumati South • Since Nov 2006 • 489 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Eee's avin' a Lawh innit? That Whaleoil (for those unfarmilliar with Maori pronunciation, the "Wh" is pronounced as an "F")
    Has anyone seen FAILoil's new tattoo? it goes so well with the chins.

    The wireless north ;-) • Since Dec 2006 • 4941 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    actually G, should they be allowed to rap along to their rap records that contain said bad word , I'm afraid to use it now, you've successfully censored me.... f--k!~!!!

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Jake: There's also a good number of "descendants of African slaves" who don't want to hear that kind of stupid shit from anyone. A better rule of thumb might be to check what century you're in, and just because some half-wit rapper jumps off the Brooklyn Bridge doesn't mean you have to as well.

    Plus some of us Mexicans don't appreciate "wetbacks" either.Must say tho' NWA, my fav back in the day.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6341 posts Report Reply

  • Jake Pollock,

    Has anyone seen FAILoil's new tattoo? it goes so well with the chins.

    But it's real blood, Steve. Real. Blood.

    Raumati South • Since Nov 2006 • 489 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    "I would also point out that it's not our word, as New Zealanders, to reclaim. "

    So the hospital you were born in is more important than the pop culture that shaped you as a person.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Jake Pollock,

    If you think race in America is only about popular culture, and not about structural discrimination, police brutality, endemic unemployment, gun violence, astronomically disproportionate imprisonment levels and an endless poverty trap for a large percentage of the population, and a host of sociological problems that stem from and exacerbate these issues, then you need to rethink things.

    Oh, speaking of New Zealand's anxieties, wtf Emmerson?

    Raumati South • Since Nov 2006 • 489 posts Report Reply

  • Peter Hoar,

    Blunt 4 letter words are all very well to describe the likes of Whaleoil and Laws but I rather think we have lost something. This passage often crosses my mind when faced with them and their ilk:

    "The bun-sellers or cake-makers were in nothing inclinable to their request; but, which was worse, did injure them most outrageously,calling them prattling gabblers, lickorous gluttons, freckled bittors, mangy rascals, shite-a-bed scoundrels, drunken roysters, sly knaves, drowsy loiterers, slapsauce fellows, slabberdegullion druggels, lubberly louts, cozening foxes, ruffian rogues, paltry customers, sycophant-varlets, drawlatch hoydens, flouting milksops, jeering companions, staring clowns, forlorn snakes, ninny lobcocks, scurvy sneaksbies, fondling fops, base loons, saucy coxcombs, idle lusks, scoffing braggarts, noddy meacocks, blockish grutnols, doddipol-joltheads, jobbernol goosecaps, foolish loggerheads, flutch calf-lollies, grouthead gnat-snappers, lob-dotterels, gaping changelings, codshead loobies, woodcock slangams, ninny-hammer flycatchers, noddypeak simpletons, turdy gut, shitten shepherds, and other suchlike defamatory epithets ..."

    Rabelais, "Gargantua and Pantegruel", Bk. 1, ch. xxv. (Everyman's ed., London, 1949, p.61. (Urquhart translation, 1653)

    Auckland • Since Sep 2007 • 5 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    I believe he has been comparing his dazzling conquest of Mr Christie to the efforts of Guido in revealing the scandal that may yet end Gordon Brown's political career.

    I am confused then. I thought blubber and a certain religiously inclined investigator were the favoured organs for getting smears out into the public eye. Indeed, given the landscape in NZ I was surprised (and delighted) so much fuss was being made about this issue in the UK.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1616 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Rabelais, "Gargantua and Pantegruel"

    Look, I've been a good boy and have refrained from mentioning George Carlin up until now, but you leave me no choice.

    George Carlin's entire oeuvre, from the Seven Words You can't Say on TV bit onwards. There will be a short test mid next week.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7404 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    "If you think race in America is only about popular culture, and not about structural discrimination, police brutality, endemic unemployment, gun violence, astronomically disproportionate imprisonment levels and an endless poverty trap for a large percentage of the population, and a host of sociological problems that stem from and exacerbate these issues, then you need to rethink things"

    listen turdy gut ,

    U.S black culture is huge everywhere, soon they'll be a black president .You are allowed to celebrate black success. It's impossible not to, keep it rollin on...i know we are still a long way of equality but censorship isn't the answer.

    I agree with your assessment of the problems facing the world though. I'm talking about the taboo value of words ,not trying to remedy urban america, although i applaud those who do.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    I cant find the link to the original Nathan Barley website, which appropriately was called 'CUNT", but Snailtrail sorry......Whalesoil kinda reminds me of that guy, right down to the "real blood" reference. He really is a 'self-facilitating media node'.

    The wireless north ;-) • Since Dec 2006 • 4941 posts Report Reply

  • Caleb D'Anvers,

    I cant find the link to the original Nathan Barley website, which appropriately was called 'CUNT".

    Ahem. Note: not even remotely safe for work.

    East Greenwich • Since Mar 2008 • 435 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Steve - you're thinking of http://www.tvgohome.com/.

    Anyone can have a tattoo with "real blood". Personally, I use "real ink" for all of mine.

    Mind you, I've clearly gone the wrong way about this - I've used a picture of my shoulder as my avatar, rather than getting a tattoo of my avatar on my shoulder.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Blast!

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

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