Little Screen, Big Screen

  • Hadyn Green,

    Hollywood has made fistfuls of money by taking television programmes and turning them into movies (Star Trek, X-Files, The Beverly Hillbillies).

    So now that we've got our own thriving movie industry how about some local content up on the silver screen?

    The Constant Gardener: Jim Mora travels the country endlessly digging up the backyards of elderly ladies. But when his partner Mary Lambie disappears from the nations TV screens he is thrust into the murky underworld of television and politics.

    Twelve Monkeys: In the middle of the ocean is a mysterious island covered in film crews. 12 "celebrities" awake to find themselves left on this island with little to sustain them but virus filled cockroaches. One by one the celebs are removed until one remains. Similar to Castaway, the role of the volleyball is played by Nikki Watson.

    Blow: Something starring Marc Ellis and Matthew Ridge

    Holmes - Cultural Learnings Make for Benefit Glorious Nation of New Zealand: We send ridiculously "over the top" fake reporter Paul Holmes out to interview people with hilarious consequences.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

6 Responses

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    Downsize Me: An updated remake of Goodbye Pork Pie. Starring Marc Ellis and Matthew Ridge in a new yellow mini cooper 'borrowed' from one of the character's hairdresser girlfriend.
    With the soundtrack single "Who Ate All The Pies" sung by a choir of registered dietitians.

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 842 posts Report Reply

  • Borat Sagdiyev,

    Holmes - Cultural Learnings Make for Benefit Glorious Nation of New Zealand: We send ridiculously "over the top" fake reporter Paul Holmes out to interview people with hilarious consequences.

    IS NICE!

    Jagshemash!

    Borat

    PS: Would this Mr Holes like to interview leading Kazakh journalist?

    Kazakhstan • Since Nov 2006 • 2 posts Report Reply

  • Yamis,

    Shortland Street: explosions, death, mayhem, cheating adults, evil villains.

    Oh, hang on, that's a normal episode on the tellie. Not much point turning it into a movie.

    What Now?: But change the title to WTF Now?! and have a bunch of immature dipshits running round doing crazy things to each other while telling kids not to do this in the home (try it in the garage).

    Outrageous Fortunes: but change it to Outrageous Foresk**s and it can be NZs first block buster porn movie. Though having seen bits of it recently it may have already gone there. On that note, anybody remember that TV series from the early 90s or late 80s "Chances" ? I was disappointed. Here was I, a randy teen expecting free to air porn and all I got was ... well nevermind.

    Since Nov 2006 • 879 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Outrageous Foresk**s

    You may have have heard about an impolite word that starts with F. It's not foreskin.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1869 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    You may have have heard about an impolite word that starts with F. It's not foreskin.

    Indeed, a lamentable (if ironic) snip there. Apologies to Greg McGee.

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 842 posts Report Reply

  • Sarah Nathan,

    anybody remember that TV series from the early 90s or late 80s "Chances"

    Hey Yamis, I totally remember Chances. Sadly, they took a fab concept (sex + lotto) and did okay - but not brilliantly - with it.

    I'll never forgive them for using up this great concept and preventing me from pitching same to the networks here . (Oh, not that I've tried, ahem).

    AND Chances is guilty of traumatising me with Aussie actor Jeremy whats-his-name. He was handcuffed to his bed, stark naked, by some disgruntled chick or other. Euwww.

    All in all, I felt sorry for their neighbour, old uncle whats-his-name from The Sullivans, who was gypped out of his lotto winnings. Okay, so he didn't actually chip in for the ticket on the winning week but he usually did and... so very sad.

    But, more importantly, who remembers "Return to Eden"? No traffic on Auckland roads on the nights that three-parter aired. (I'm not talking about the lame series that followed). Yum yum, crocodiles and the guy from Australian Crawl. I should know his name, I own the DVD. Doh x 2. There we go, James Reyne.

    Akld • Since Nov 2006 • 12 posts Report Reply

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