Ok guys gather round there's gonna be a few changes to the team. First up Dan, you're cut, pack your things and get out. Nah! I'm just kidding get back here ya dope. I just like to start these things with a joke. Haw haw haw!
But seriously, Aled you're cut. Have your locker cleared by two o'clock. What? Yes, you can keep that box of Powerade.
Now there're a few new guys here, Zac, Ben, Mike and Tamati, so we're gonna have to come up with some new nicknames. I'm thinking Gilly, Smithy, Laney, and Tamati. Everyone agree? Good.
Now did you boys all get your new phones? Hang on they gave me something to read.
"Our best wishes go to the players selected as they embark on the All Blacks Telecom Northern Tour. This is a special association …blahblahblah… each of the players receiving an XT Mobile so they can stay in touch with home easily in each of the five countries that they visit."
Wait a minute… Five? Wales is a country? Somebody go look that up. Not you Joe, you're cut.
Now just to make things a little crazier the coaches are going to have a little change around too. Hen-Dog we like what you've done with the defence so we're giving that job to Wayne-o. Hansen you fucked over the forwards so you'll be taking over offence and Hen-Dog's gonna to try and sort out the mess you left.
And if that doesn't work we're going to bring in a duty roster wheel.