Radiation by Fiona Rae

The schedule for new digital channel TVNZ 6 was revealed this week, a family-friendly line-up which you could say was heavy on the nostalgia if you were being polite and full of reruns if you weren’t. Anyway, who doesn’t want to see A Dog’s Show again? Among the schedule are several programmes which previously screened on TV3 – Being Eve and Doves of War. There are some new shows – notably The Gravy, an arts series which sounds something like The Living Room and, next year, a talk show hosted by Finlay Mcdonald. In addition, the channel will screen shorts films by students.

Charlie Brooker explained this week, with the help of other aficionados like Alexei Sayle and Neil Hornby, why he thinks The Wire is the best show ever. You may be able to persuade your friends in America to send you the documentary Tapping The Wire, although here’s Charlie from his TV series talking about the show.

Meanwhile, there’s always Kidnapped, which is another one that got away. It was an NBC series with HBO values, so maybe it was too smart for US audiences. Friends of the Whedonverse will know the name David Greenwalt, who was a producer.

Gilmore Girls’ Scott Peterson is in a new comedy called Aliens in America

Saturday
• Eye to Eye (TV1, 9.30am) discusses the rugby with Melody Robinson, Phil Gifford, Louisa Wall and Phil Kingsley Jones.
• The Guardian’s Kathryn Flett liked Kingdom (TV1), although it sounds a bit comfy slipper to me. The official website’s a bit drab, but there’s a Stephen Fry interview and you might even get the video going.
• The Adventure of English on Documentary (8.00pm) is very good. Here’s an interesting review of the book.
• New Zealand short film Hawaikii is on Rialto.
• The McLiberals at Rotten Tomatoes thought that McLibel on Documentary (10.30pm) was 100 percent fresh.

Sunday
• Sunday (TV1) has stories about New Zealanders working too hard; an ABC report on paralysing strokes that may be helped by Viagra; and a BBC report that follows a group of seven-nine year-olds when their televisions and computers were taken away.
• There was Austen for Africa in the UK earlier this year; we’re seeing ITV’s adaptations now. This week it’s Northanger Abbey (TV1), but this one is adapted by Andrew Davies. Kathryn Hughes argues here that Jane Austen is about money being tight, not trousers; while Germaine Greer sings the author’s praises here.
• Simon Schama finishes Power of Art (TV1) with Rothko.
• Uh-oh, someone gets captured by a serial killer in the final of CSI (TV3); EW’s Ken Tucker thought it was one of the best seasons ever.
• The Woman Who Thinks Like a Cow (Prime) is about the fascinating autist Temple Grandin.
• It’s episode 10 of Kidnapped (Prime) – only three left after this.
• Atanarjuat on Maori gets a 10 from Philip in the Listener.

Monday
• It’s the final of Men in Trees (TV2), but there are no reviews because it hasn’t screened in the US yet (she said smugly). It has been renewed for a second season.
• 60 Minutes (TV3) has items about an American dentist who claims that mercury fillings are causing Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, chronic fatigue syndrome and heaps of other diseases; a mining company in Java, Indonesia, that may be responsible for a giant mud volcano that has affected a town of 40,000; and the iron ore workers in Western Australia who are earning $100,000+k.

Tuesday
• Marc pretends to be straight on Ugly Betty (TV2), although with lines like “What about the boobs on that Beyonce?”, who’s he kidding? Read this after seeing the episode.
• The episode for Outrageous Fortune says “Van and Munter go green,” but I thought they already smoked dope, man.
• Jarhead is on Sky Movies 1.

Wednesday
• The Closer starts on TV1, six episodes into season two. EW’s Gillian Flynn gave is a B-.

Thursday
• Without a Trace (TV1) trucks on, tonight is its 111th episode, which was written by Anthony LaPaglia. Note the director is Paul McCrane – Romano from ER.
• EW dissects the Grey’s Anatomy (TV2) final here, or if you have a spare hour or three, here’s the Television Without Pity recap.

Friday
• Rove (TV3) will be in New York talkin’ to Adam Sandler and Janeane Garofalo.
• Pedro Almodovar’s Talk to Her (TV3, late) gets a nine from Philip.

I mustn’t have been reading The Gluc and The Bridge closely enough, because I didn’t even know that Emily Robins, who played Claire on Shortland Street, was leaving. Consequently, her death on Monday night was a bit of a shocker. There she was, lying in a skip all blue and strangled like it was CSI: Ferndale. It’s certainly giving the Street a pep up, after a bit of dreary run. I really wish Mark and Maia would at least have a pash. She can put it down to “hormones”.

The Herald’s Peter Griffin is on top of Freeview. TVNZ has started screening extended coverage of sporting events on TVNZ Sport Extra, which is Freeview channel 20.

EW rates the best and worst celebrity blogs and Stephen Colbert insists he is America.

Saturday
• A Shadow of Doubt (Maori) is about the use of 1080.
• Charlize won an Oscar for Monster (TV1); Salma Hayek did not win an Oscar for Frida (TV1).
• Die Hard with a Vengeance (TV3) is tired.
• How to Eat Your Watermelon in White Company (and Enjoy It) (Documentary) looks baadasssss.

Sunday
• It’s the last of Gilmore Girls (TV2) (sob); read Ken Tucker in EW after watching, also Karen Valby shed a few tears and Alexis Bledel reflects on the ending. This 2005 piece about having a fantasy motherhood from Salon is safe to read now.
• The lovely Barbara Dreaver, TV1’s Pacific correspondent, has a two-part report on South Auckland gangs, starting during tonight’s 6 o’clock news.
• Marcus Lush does Antarctica in new series Ice (TV1).
• Sunday (TV1) has reports on how dishonest we’re becoming; a BBC report on Cherie Blair; and a report on Trade Me.
• Great reviews for Recovery (TV1) which stars the lovely David Tennant.
• Salon’s Heather Havrilesky loves 30 Rock (TV3) and I believe her.
• The fabulous Weeds returns on Prime.
• Secrets of Egypt’s Lost Queen is the Discovery documentary about Queen Hatshepsut that made headlines not long ago.

Monday
• Tonight’s episode of Extras (Prime) proves that Ronnie Corbett is quite a funny guy. The HBO website has a few, ah, extras. There’s a couple of videos on Ricky Gervais’s website that will tickle your fancy.
• Vanessa Rare will discuss her short film Pikowae as part of Maori Television’s short film season.
• Season three of Rescue Me starts on TV1, although Tommy is such an ass that it can get tedious.

Tuesday
• So looking forward to Outrageous Fortune back on TV3.
• NCIS is also back before OF, but it is very silly.

Wednesday
• Season six of Scrubs starts (TV2). Here’s a Donald Faison Q&A about the upcoming season.
• Do we care that Cold Case (TV1) is finishing? Next week: The Closer.
• Serial Killers repeats on TV1 laaate at night. Here’s Diana Wichtel’s review from 2004.
• The Door in the Floor is on Rialto.

Thursday
• Tonight’s episode of The Sopranos (TV1) was the first one to screen in the US after the long break. Read the HBO ep recap after watching.
• Lauren Graham and Sting are guest stars on Studio 60 (TV2).
• Hustle & Flow (Sky Movies 1) features a brilliant performance from Terence Howard.

Friday
• The OC (TV2) has so jumped the shark.
• Joan Collins is on Footballers’ Wives (TV1), here’s an interview from last year just after she’d played the part and before her one-woman tour. Remember this: she is 72.
• Waking Life (TV3) gets a nine from Philip in the Listener.

How did Live Earth work out for ya? I saw the Porn Stars, sorry, the Pussycat Dolls bring a touch of class to Wembley Stadium, although it’s a shame they couldn’t find some other clothes after someone had a go at theirs with scissors. They weren’t so much clothes as ideas. I dunno. Am I missing something here?

Wembley looked a lot more fun than New York – good old the British, always up for it. I wished they’d had some of those mouthy women they’ve been producing lately, like Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse. Instead it was a LOT of worthy messages, especially Madonna, although she killed on “Ray of Light”.

The scales of patheticness are tilting and I’ve missed Saturday again, and most of Sunday too, but there are a couple of good things coming up this week:

Sunday
• They’ve modernised Dracula (TV1) with the guy from Spooks; Kathryn Flett in the Guardian quite liked it.
• Simon Schama (TV1) does Turner.
• <A HREF="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hitch/Hitch" target="_blank"> (TV2) is something of a guilty pleasure.
• It’s the final of My Name Is Earl (TV3).
• Season three of Numb3rs starts on TV3.
• C4 is screening This Is Spinal Tap.
• Malcolm X is on Maori.
• Cowboy Del Amor looks like fun on the Documentary Channel.

Monday
• New series of Facelift starts on TV1.
• Rescue Me returns on TV1 with the final episode of season two. Go figure.
• Actress Jane Fonda, author Tom Ruprecht and musical guest Kelly Clarkson are on Letterman.

Tuesday
• Lucy Liu is on Ugly Betty.
• It’s the final of House (TV3); here’s a cute A-Z.
• Also the final of Boston Legal (TV3); The Apprentice (TV2); and Hyperdrive and <Two Pints of Lager on Prime.
• Actress Teri Hatcher, actor Jonah Hill and musical guests Elvis Costello & The Imposters are on Letterman

Wednesday
• Primeval debuts on TV2; described in this item by my new hero Charlie Brooker as a genuine competition for Doctor Who. Also, Wikipedia for Primeval and Doctor Who and Primeval writer Paul Cornell has an interesting blog.
• Actor Don Cheadle, a “summer toy demonstration” and musical guests Smashing Pumpkins are on Letterman.

Thursday
• Without a Paddle (TV3) is mostly harmless and it does star Seth Green. Plus, you can amuse yourself with the New Zealand locations.
• Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room (Rialto) gets a – goodness – 10 from Philip; it's 97 percent fresh at Rotten Tomatoes.
• Actress Sienna Miller, actor Michael Cera and musical guests Interpol are on Letterman.

Friday
• The O.C. (TV2) burned brief but exceptionally bright, according to Salon, although EW’s Annie Barrett lists 10 things she’ll miss. The fourth, and lamest, season is underway laate at night.
• Actress Emma Watson and musical guests Spoon are on Letterman.
• The excellent and ambitious Brick is on Rialto; Brokeback Mountain is on Sky Movies.

Can anyone confirm that during the week, TV3 led a news bulletin with Paris Hilton getting out of jail? Great stuff. Fantastic. Three will definitely be securing the vital teen bimbo market to whom this news actually means something, although by the end of the week newsreaders on both sides were asking the “Do we care?” question and TV1 was putting the item well down in the bulletin, where it should be.

Good things are being written about David Milch’s new drama, John from Cincinnati, which may be worth contacting your friends in America about. Here’s Salon’s Heather Havrilesky; EW liked it too.

Sorry I missed last night’s telly; here’s Kathryn Flett’s review of Archangel, a pre-Bond Daniel Craig drama that screened last night – no spoilers now! Last night’s drama Dead Clever starred the lovely Dean Lennox Kelly from Shameless; here’s a nice wee story about his taste in music and an interview about playing Shakespeare in Doctor Who.

And – omigod – Jose at bFM interviewed Joss Whedon this week.

Sunday
• An occasional series of new Jane Austen adaptations begins on TV1, starting with Mansfield Park, starring Billie Piper’s bosom, according to Kathryn Flett in the Guardian.
• Simon Schama (TV1) does Bernini.
• Top Gear’s back on Prime, featuring the return of the Hamster.
• Wonderfalls ep “Safety Canary” is on Sky 1. I like Wonderfalls.

Monday
• Here’s a little taste of what Ultimate Force (TV1) is like, plus a Guardian sports guy is funny about programmes with “ultimate” in the title.
• It’s the David Bowie episode of Extras (Prime); here’s a YouTube excerpt if you can’t wait.
• Film-maker Sima Urale will be interviewed after her short film O Tamaiti on Maori Television.
• Wimbledon at midnight, Sky Sport 2.

Tuesday
• It’s House’s penultimate episode.
• The Battlestar Galactica (TV3) ep is “Home (Part 1)”; here’s a detailed synopsis (read after viewing), plus a commentary by Ron Moore.

Wednesday
• Omigod, it’s the final of Lost. Doc Jensen’s head nearly exploded; Heather Havrilesky said “meh”.
• Do we care about Nip/Tuck? TVNZ is bringing it back in the middle of season three. Gillian Flynn in EW gave it a D+ for season three, EW readers gave it an A.
• Law & Order (TV3) returns, although its future was in doubt earlier this year. Jeremy Sisto is joining it for its 18th season, must be after he was so good in Kidnapped. We’re up to season 15.

Thursday
• Al Pacino is on Inside the Actors Studio (Rialto).

Friday
• Omigod, it’s the return of Project Runway!! Here’s a wee rundown of season two, including a where-are-they-now for season one designers. Unlike most reality contests, some of these people are doing okay for themselves.
• The Starter Wife (TV3) is a bit like Sex and the City, apparently.
• What About Brian (TV2) is slightly annoying, although everyone is pretty.

How dull is Pop’s Ultimate Star? I nearly killed myself watching Rosita sing “Rehab” and immediately had to go and play the real thing and the remix. Also, my kids now officially hate PUS, because a repeat ep has replaced the Sunday morning cartoons that they’d been watching – and even TVNZ’s own website didn’t have the amendment to the schedules last week. Yu-Gi-Oh, I am reliably informed, was balanced on a knife-edge, with Joey Wheeler possibly about to go down to a mystery player in Kaiba’s new tournament. You bastards!

TVNZ has announced that its new digital channels will be called TVNZ 6 and TVNZ 7, their numbers on the Freeview remote. With the New Zild accent, they better be careful that the former channel doesn’t come out as “TVNZ sux” and they should definitely avoid Australian accents as well. “TVNZ sex”? That just wouldn’t be right.

General praise all round for Flight of the Conchords. EW’s Popwatch liked it; also check out the comments.

June 23-29
Saturday
• English “Western” Once Upon a Time in the Midlands is on TV1; it gets a seven from Philip Matthews.
• Altogether grislier Western, the Nick Cave-penned The Proposition is on Sky Movies 1. Philip gave it a nine.
• Searching for the Wrong Eyed Jesus is on the Documentary Channel.

Sunday
• Sunday (TV1) has stories about Folole Muliaga’s death; a special needs school in Oz; and photographer Frank Habicht (film-maker Florian’s dad).
• Simon Schama (TV1) does Picasso.
• Stephen Sondheim, Peter Bogdanovich, Andy Dick and Meg Ryan are on The “All New” Simpsons (TV3). The show has reached its 400th episode.
• Greer Robson in her best role: Smash Palace is on Maori (eight from Philip).

Monday
• We’re now seeing episodes of Men in Trees that haven’t screened in the US yet. Crikey.
• Prime snuck Extras into the schedule without telling anyone; Orlando Bloom’s in the first ep.
• Johnny Depp and musical guests The Spinners are on Letterman.

Tuesday
• Seventeen-year-old Hunter McKay gets into bed with a stripper and a porn star on Shortie (TV2). Ha ha! Fooled ya – it’s a photo shoot, silly.
• New GBLT (gay, bi, les, trans) The Outlook starts on TV2 laaate at night.
• It’s House’s antepenultimate episode on TV3; same with Boston Legal – Shore has a speech about America “not letting little things like the law stand in our way” while defending a man who was jailed at Guantanamo Bay.
• NBAS commentator Charles Barkley, actor Seth Rogen and musical guest Michael Martin Murphey are on Letterman.

Wednesday
• The beginning of the end for Lost (TV2), with the first part of the two-part ending. Also, ER finals; someone gets hurt of course.
• Prison Break also ends; EW’s Ken Tucker thought it had lost its way, although it was the TV3 competition that kicked The Sopranos’ ass last year. Robert Wisdom, who was the police chief who “legalised drugs” in The Wire has been cast for season three.
• Bruce Willis, Big Brother host Julie Chen and “diving dogs on 53rd Street” are on Letterman.
• Talking Movies is on BBC World at 9.30pm.

Thursday
• Read this and this after tonight's ep of The Sopranos.
• Inside New Zealand (TV3) is about food additives.
• Is anyone watching Standoff (TV3) now that it's up against The Sopranos? Maybe: Fox has ordered more eps.
• Documentary movie Murderball is on Rialto.

Friday
• The bitches are back, and I’m not talking about the return of Footballers’ Wives at 9.35pm. Trinny & Susannah Undress (TV1) puts hapless couples through the T&S wringer.
• Second series of Waterloo Road starts on TV1, but if you thought it was difficult making a hospital look sexy, try a school.
• Here’s the Footballers’ Wives website, but read after viewing, the episode run-downs are quite comprehensive. Joan Collins is in the series as a gossip magazine editor who is, of course, evil.
• Read this after tonight’s final of Supernatural (TV2); season two has already finished in the US and season three has a guest-star from – OMG! – cylon babe Tricia Helfer.
• Smallville (TV2) finals too – the TwoP recapper is funny.
• Early Doors is on UKTV at 10.00pm.