Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Sintax

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  • Rich Lock,

    I'll keep you in line
    If you'll bring me the cheque
    Just take your time
    I'll take all you can get
    You'll keep no secrets from me
    All I want is a little more back this time
    Shut your mouth
    Put your money into it

    'Precious', by Fur Patrol

    Dedicated to Alan Hubbard.

    And staying on the Julia Deans tip:

    __Don't talk to me like I'm one of your cynical peers
    Talk to me like a lover__

    Is one of the best lyrics I've heard since ages ago. And anyone who doesn't own a copy of her recent solo album, 'modern fables', should go out immediately and buy one.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • BenWilson,

    Yup, that's why I think harm should certainly be viewed more rationally, but that it's not the only factor. There is also the question of the basic human right for adults to harm themselves. I've always seen the Harm Principle as a heuristic, and as with all heuristics, ends up seeing the heuristic as the end-in-itself. But that was not the idea behind Utilitarianism at all, it was meant to balance harms and benefits, and the benefit of "having a good time" is actually really, really important IMHO. Indeed, most people live entirely for those times, everything else is just drudgery.

    Cheers dc_red, I'll actually bow on LSD, I'm only making my choice to 'leave it to later' because it's not such a widely used drug and therefore a much harder sell on evidence.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Rich of Observationz,

    On the subject of drinking restrictions, one would expect, if the advocates of lowering the drinking age were right, that crime by 18-20 year olds would have increased between 1999 and 2001. According to stats, it didn't, figures were fairly flat (they went up substantially later in the decade, possibly due to increased reporting)

    I'm also interested in what happened when opening hours were relaxed and alcohol outlets expanded. Does anyone know offhand the years for that?

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report

  • Damian Christie,

    @Rich - maybe not crime, but A&E visits by that age group (and younger) certainly did. As did rates of unplanned pregnancy and STDs.

    Not that we should be surprised, that 18 & 19 year olds chose to drink in the same way as everyone else was. But it is disproportionately high in their case.

    @Ben - again, I agree completely. I don't take drugs (legal or otherwise) because I'm interested in causing my organs moderate amounts of harm. I really like "having a good time". Unfortunately, Jim Anderton doesn't. And without wanting to prejudge the Law Commissions' upcoming report into drugs, even though it will suggest a more rational approach, I doubt there are too many sentences by Sir Geoff ending "...on the other hands, drugs can be really fun."

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report

  • recordari,

    So if you fit that category, and want to win, feel free to repost your entries. And the other thing is, the best idea, if it's awesome, could actually end up as a t-shirt, so it would help if I didn't have to put on my Sherlock Holmes hat to work them out!

    Yeah, I did sort of wonder why people were being so cryptic. Just to be absolutely clear.
    Where I am going you can't save me from

    Nigel Brown
    and

    Don't talk to me like I'm one of your cynical peers
    Talk to me like a lover
    from



    Seraphine Pick

    ETA: Got them back to front.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • Lyndon Hood,

    So Many good lyrics. Keep thinking of things it would be amusing to draw instead.

    doodle after the Chills, Heavenly Pop Hit

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report

  • bob daktari,

    It Was Christmas Day
    When Michael Fay Gave His Money Away
    Jesus Didn't Have a Lot To Say
    We'd All Forgotten His Birthday


    Able Tasmans - Michael Fay

    artwork to be supplied by Allen Hubbard

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 540 posts Report

  • Rich of Observationz,

    Easy fix for unwanted pregnancies would be to put a dose of oestrogen/progesterone in every RTD sold. Rather like folic acid in bread?

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report

  • Lyndon Hood,

    @Rich I'm guessing that was an accidental cross-post, but I'd love to hear the song.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report

  • Danielle,

    Credit cards and a Maserati
    He don't go to films 'less he knows they're arty
    He likes women's lib and the Values Party
    He's a rasta, he's new wave
    Don't do nothing 'less he's told exactly how to behave

    Toy Love, 'Rebel'. Can Judy Darragh make it into a lei and press it on to the shirt? :)

    I always liked that bit in the Blams' 'Don't Fight it Marsha...': I want you to be happy but I'd rather you were still with me. Perhaps we can arrange something as well, because I'm really into Don McGlashan's creepy stalker/psycho songs (see also'White Valiant').

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report

  • Steve Barnes,

    Surely the best ones are the misunderstood ones...
    Four hundred children and a crap in the field,
    You picked a fine time to leave me loose eel

    Or...
    Suddenly someone is there by the turnstile, The girl with colitis goes by

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report

  • Grant McDougall,

    Bad Politics, Baby!

    the Dead C can do their own artwork for this one

    Given that Michael Morley's been a lecturer at Dunedin Art School for several years, I think he'd be able to provide something without too much trouble.

    (Bet you didn't know that about him, Mr Daktari!).

    Dunedin • Since Dec 2006 • 760 posts Report

  • st ephen,

    I see a Rugby World Cup merchandising opportunity here. Personally I spent my Hipster Years deliberately avoiding The Exponents, so I'd find a T-shirt with their complete lyrics very helpful in crowd situations.

    But otherwise (and without going beyond where the original post ended with The Verlaines) maybe:
    I love this imported German beer
    They know how to make it over there.

    with Michel Tuffrey to knock up the obligatory can of sponsor's product.

    And the follow-up:
    Totally written-off but there's laughter at chaos...

    with Ewan McDougall to do the honours.

    dunedin • Since Jul 2008 • 254 posts Report

  • philipmatthews,

    Given that Michael Morley's been a lecturer at Dunedin Art School for several years, I think he'd be able to provide something without too much trouble.

    A heck of a painter, eg these examples

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report

  • bob daktari,

    Given that Michael Morley's been a lecturer at Dunedin Art School....

    I didn't know that... knew he did art... ta for that and the link Philip

    Really really like the new Gate album and thanks to this thread and my choice I am now eyeing up a Bruce Russell designed T shirt http://www.thewire.co.uk/shop/items/482/

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 540 posts Report

  • Brent Jackson,

    "... and there are no sheep on our far-arms"

    (Artwork by Collette)

    "There is no Depression in New Zealand" by Blam Blam Blam

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report

  • Brent Jackson,

    Let's go, let's go, to Australia,
    Your dole cheque came, with the right name,
    and it's easy to score a joint

    "Let's Go" by Vivid Militia

    (Artwork by Chris Knox)

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report

  • ange wither,

    She came on like November, pretending to be summer

    Phoenix Foundation, "Gandalf"

    Artist - Heather Straka

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 54 posts Report

  • Brent Jackson,

    I want to be a rebel,
    but mummy says
    I'm not allowed to be,
    so I live in mass conformity,
    I'm lost in uniformity

    "I'm Normal" by The Killjoys

    (artwork = Michael Smither "Kawaroa Paddling Pool")

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report

  • Brent Jackson,

    she's got a mind but it's the clothes they see through

    "Victoria" by The Exponents

    (Artwork: "Putting Victoria into Victorious" by Miriam Saphira)

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report

  • Brent Jackson,

    Also, +1 for :
    - Goldenhorse "Riverhead"
    - Toy Love "Rebel"
    - Blams "Don't Fight it Marsha"
    - Darcy Clay "Jesus I was evil"

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report

  • recordari,

    Do the Headless Chicken

    Down at The Rising Sun
    Bowing to the Lord of the Smoking Mirror
    And those boys who go to so much trouble
    To be Rasputin's double
    They look so grand behind their big car doors
    With the girls who remind you of weeping sores

    Patrick Reynolds, maybe?

    Footnote: Never thought this would be good for English language tuition, but hey, clearly that's just me.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • Joanna,

    I stayed at this masquerade
    And had another drink
    I was hoping to bring sin to my sheets

    'The Drinker' - Phoenix Foundation

    And maybe said sheets could be colour fieldy bits by Gretchen Albrecht.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    So if you fit that category, and want to win, feel free to repost.

    Toy love
    Bride of Frankenstein

    Make me a bride he said
    From one who died he said
    Sewn up, so fine
    Bride of Frankenstein

    Would have to be Joe Wylie to do the art.He's bloody good.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report

  • st ephen,

    In a sleepy little town
    where soft breezes blow...

    That'd be John Rowles. And that'd have to be Heather Straka again.

    dunedin • Since Jul 2008 • 254 posts Report

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