Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: Everyone loves a quiz.

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  • dc_red,

    1. would have 30 regular listeners?

    2. The bottle. Provided you don't live in Auckland.

    3. Just like the guardians of Gondor. Key on one side of a previously unspoiled south-westland river. Muzza on the other.

    4. b ... I assume.

    5. Will the NZH notice, and launch an over-wrought campaign?

    6. See 5.

    Oil Patch, Alberta • Since Nov 2006 • 706 posts Report

  • David Slack,

    The actual answer to 4 was a, b and c, but as you can see, it's now a different question, and the old number 5 is gone. My apologies for completing the revisions in public. Here, have a chocolate fish. It's sprinkled with unobtanium.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    4. What does our Prime Minister mean when he says: ''I'm going to Maui, where are you going?''

    It's spelt "Mau", and I assume you're selling pictures.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • David Slack,

    Please sir, can I have some?

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report

  • Raymond A Francis,

    Typical of the lefties, changes the rules and questions half way through my answering
    1 More crazies emailing

    2 Lets get a crate

    3” Nothing more to see here, move on”.

    4 Same as "I off to skiing, don't contact me if there is an

    5 Don't we have an opposition?

    45' South • Since Nov 2006 • 578 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    1. ...Whale Oil would accuse it of being the mouthpiece of the liberal elite.
    2. This is a trick question!!! Everyone knows the only currency accepted at Showgirls is Showgirls Dollars. I hear the exchange rate is pretty bad at the moment, though.
    3. It will be like one of those old bronze statues where it doesn't tarnish in the places where tourists rub it for luck. Therefore, it will be completely green.
    4. Remember that time in the '90s when there was talk of renaming the North and South Islands with Maori names and Shipley suggested calling the North Island "Maui"? Well, that was adopted within the National Party. Key's holiday apartment in Maui is actually a timeshare in Tauranga.
    5. Your mum.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Jolisa,

    5. Your mum.

    You mean "yo mama"?

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report

  • David Hood,

    1) John Key would be optimistic for its future.
    2 )That depends how optimistic you are.
    3) A novelty desk ornament
    4) A similar thing to the TV ad that asks if you have been Fiji'd recently
    5) Pay attention to the swinging watch. You are getting sleepy. When you wake up you will have no memory of last weeks legislation.

    Dunedin • Since May 2007 • 1445 posts Report

  • Just thinking,

    The answer to number 2 is the bottle.
    Showgirls is the answer to all other questions.

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1158 posts Report

  • recordari,

    Don't you mean;

    Q. How many politicians would it take to fill a bath tub with multi-coloured machine tools?

    A. A chocolate fish.

    Mauhauhauhau! Pictures, exclusively, @7.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • David Slack,

    The answer to number 2 is the bottle.
    Showgirls is the answer to all other questions.


    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report

  • nz native,

    1: Our ears would bleed and flies would be attracted to the radio.

    2: The lap dancers loins make it impossible for you to access your card but your not worried as Rodney said he'd put it all on his .

    3: A-hole

    4: Its code for wife and partner swapping, although rumors that r.i.p rockerfella is the biological father of Keys children is nothing but a dirty left wing smear.

    5: Fay still has a couple of private islands where the riff raff can't bother you ............. myers will supply the free booze, however you need a title to get on there with 'right honarable' being the bare minimum.

    Since May 2007 • 60 posts Report

  • mic weevil,

    1. even if you weren't tuned into national radio the airwaves would leave a slimy, greasy and slightly acrid coating over everything they touched

    auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 52 posts Report

  • Amy Gale,

    1. Is this one of those liberal elite ivory tower questions about the sound of one blog clapping?

    2. Glass. Bottle price may be over the audit threshold.

    3. The subject of a previous, unsold statue.

    4. "Eff off povo". Too easy.

    5. You can't catch me out that easily.

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    You mean "yo mama"?

    No, I mean "your mum". This is not America!

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • recordari,

    Oh, sorry, were they serious questions?

    1. Kwiblog who?

    2. Either. Some guy said 'the drinks are on the house'.

    3. Knock knock. 'Stat you bro?' No, it's Dr Pita Sharples, actually.

    4. What Amy said.

    5. Winston Peters.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • Rich of Observationz,

    I'm not sure. Would that be deleted unobtainium?

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report

  • Helen Searancke,

    1) ...I'd sell it, too.

    2) The bottle. But only if I can claim it against some rent I pay to my family trust or something.

    3) A pile of rubble.

    4) "I don't want to go to Copenhagen." [My edit - I just reread the question. Duh.]

    5) Surprisingly, Paula's place, out west - always good for a beer and a laugh and she makes a bloody awesome fish pie. West is best, after all.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 24 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    1/ It'd cause much the same reaction from me as this week's Listener cover did, except I'm not sure how you rip the cover off RNZ. Fortunately, it seems people are planning to show me.

    2/ "Don't you know who I am?!" Ah, feck I love doing that.

    3/ It would glisten with the tears of ophaned baby kiwi.

    4/ He means he's going to Maui, and if anyone else is going his way he'd appreciate a ride. Give the man a break, he needs to keep popping off and topping up his supply of "relaxed".

    5/ Pauline Hansen is dropping by for a holiday before joining the BNP, apparently.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Just thinking,

    Robyn was right, no.2 was a trick question.
    It wasn't a glass or bottle but the Champagne Room, 20mins is $70.


    Edit - Showgirls is the answer to all questions.

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1158 posts Report

  • Angus Robertson,

    1 ...we would have cut its funding years ago.

    2. Showgirls is officially designated Auckland City's - Adjunct Consultative Centre for Administration of Transitional Authority. Watercare is paying your bill.

    3. a 2nd hand Aleksei Stakhanov .

    4. ''I'm going to Maui, where are you going?''

    5. Anywhere in Epsom.

    Auckland • Since May 2007 • 984 posts Report

  • Joe Hendren,

    Haha - well done Mr Slack :)

    3. Muzza as an Uruk-hai. If Hobbiton is a tourist attraction clearly our Minister of Tourism also wants to destroy valleys with deep pits in order to recreate the defiled Isengard and Mordor.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 1 posts Report

  • ScottY,

    1. would be the subject of numerous BSA complaints.

    3. If you want to know, watch Lord of the Rings. There were nine of them.

    5. Yes, and he lives on a volcano in the Hauraki Gulf.

    West • Since Feb 2009 • 794 posts Report

  • BenWilson,

    1...the signal/noise ratio would put it on par with hearing the news through a flushing toilet.
    2....either would do. If I then drank it and it was nice, I'd know it was all just a bad dream.
    3....Adonis, but straight. Perhaps a scar.'s code to his security guards to get between you - the question is to slow you down. Put your finger on the button and...
    5....when it comes to actually pissing yourself, it's best to already be in the water if you don't want anyone to notice. A beach in Maui is pretty safe, anyone there is up for a laugh.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Leigh Kennaway,

    Bloody hell these new NCEA exams are tricky - no wonder educational standards are slipping. Thank god we have a gummint with a plan in place to fix all that!

    sunny Pt Chevalier • Since Mar 2008 • 40 posts Report

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