Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Special Guest Michael Laws on the Richard Worth Saga

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  • Don Christie,

    Wot, no fonganui?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1645 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    Let's face it, as far as the hairy-legged lesbians in the Labour Party are concerned, it's a crime to be male. You're no longer safe in your own home.

    That was certainly the line by certain oily flail for a number of years over the "unfair" treatment of Dover Samuels. Now it seems those same femis were too lenient.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1645 posts Report Reply

  • Joshua Arbury,

    I assume that's a piss-take?

    Auckland • Since May 2009 • 237 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    New Zealand has arguably become the most dangerous and crime-ridden country on earth

    Kudos.

    It's like living in a Robert Heinlein novel.

    I know where you live, matey...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    I know where you live, matey...

    Put that in especially for you, Emma.

    [Bonus geek points: can you identify which novel the "T'were well it done quickly" quote is from.]

    I assume that's a piss-take?

    Sort of a piss-take. Sort of a homage to the awesome logical structure of Michael Laws's columns. Sort of a job application for a column of my own at SST. Bit of all three, really.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth Ward,

    Gareth likes this

    Auckland, NZ • Since Mar 2007 • 1727 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    It takes a certain level of staggering genius to manage to sound exactly like Lawhs, yet also tweak the prose so the dial turns to 'even more batshit'.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Joshua Arbury,

    Indeed, it took me a while to realise it was a piss-take and not actually Michael Laws.

    Auckland • Since May 2009 • 237 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    Twas lost on me, having never read "the real Michael Laws" (if, indeed there is such a thing).

    But I think I get the gist (and the mockery).

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    staggering genius

    I love the way the end so precisely contradicts the beginning. It almost makes me want to read Lhaws' column this week. Almost. But not.

    [Bonus geek points: can you identify which novel the "T'were well it done quickly" quote is from.]

    I'm almost relieved I can't do this. My guess would be 'Stranger in a Strange Land' - the Heinlein I would consider most likely to annoy Michael Laws.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    Reminds me of Lindsay Perigo's take on the Battle of Seattle (nearly 10 years ago now!)

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5430 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    It's Macbeth, isn't it? But slightly paraphrased?

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    My thought too, Danielle. So you would have to be especially geeky to get where the misquote comes from.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    It takes a certain level of staggering genius to manage to sound exactly like Lawhs, yet also tweak the prose so the dial turns to 'even more batshit'.

    This. It's the real Laws turned up just one more notch, just when we thought he was completely beyond parody.

    Well done sir.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1609 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    So you would have to be especially geeky to get where the misquote comes from.

    Okay, see, I think recognising the original quote from the 'get on with it' sollioquy from Macbeth is LESS geeky. (I.7, 'If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well/ It were done quickly'.)

    But I would say that.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    I feel that Lhaws is probably writing a column on those lines and will struggle to avoid intertextuality with your version..

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • ChrisW,

    I feel that Lhaws is probably writing a column on those lines and will struggle to avoid intertextuality with your version..

    Seeing this juxtaposed with Emma's post, you'd have to amend this to "bitextuality" surely.
    Now juxtaposed, that'd be a good word Key word too ...

    Gisborne • Since Apr 2009 • 851 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    Delighted and humbled that this has provided some Friday amusement for people.

    A WARNING: what happens is this. Emma Hart says: "Oh, you can't understand Western Civilization if you haven't read Heinlein" (or words to that effect*). And then she herself forgets what's in Heinlein's books.

    The quote was, of course, the 'Mother Thing' paraphrasing Shakespeare in 'Have Spacesuit Will Travel'. As you'll recall, the galactic court had just sent the wormfaces' planet (which orbits Proxima Centauri) into another dimension.

    I'm betting that this fact will make all of you think a little more deeply about the workings of Western Civilization.

    -----

    * Or, in fact, nothing like this at all...

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    A WARNING: what happens is this. Emma Hart says: "Oh, you can't understand Western Civilization if you haven't read Heinlein" (or words to that effect*).

    I am experiencing the kind of indignation that manifests itself in hysterical laughter. I think what I said was something along the lines of 'not all of Heinlein's books are the kind of screaming racist misogyynistic bilge that makes you want to dig up and abuse his corpse'. But no doubt Haywood has a different 'recollection' of these 'events'.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • ChrisW,

    Now juxtaposed, that'd be a good word Key word too ...

    Sorry, was shtuttering my Key words.

    Gisborne • Since Apr 2009 • 851 posts Report Reply

  • 81stcolumn,

    It's like living in a Robert Heinlein novel

    A small whlaw but surely such discourse is beneath the reading age of mhighty Mike ?

    Can somone offer a pronunciation guide for Lhaws I've just been sprayed with tea for my attempt.

    Bzy wkn hrd bzzzz.

    BTW. Brown Owl reference....LMFAO

    Nawthshaw • Since Nov 2006 • 790 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    It's all right, Emma, you and David are both correct.

    'S all relative. (Or is that incest - a.k.a. 'rolling your own')

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Caleb D'Anvers,

    I had the misfortune to hear a few minutes of Laws on breakfast yesterday morning, and this is scarily accurate.

    Some choice quotes (from memory, obviously):

    "This beat-up is the New Zealand media at its worst."

    "Richard Worth is a man who has done nothing wrong ."

    It's OK, because "everyone in parliament" does stuff like this, followed by the assertion that something Lianne Dalziel did x years ago was much worse, because "she lied to the House." There may have been sexist aside at this point that Dalziel was still around, "scoffing large amounts of buffet," and hadn't resigned like the noble and untarnished Worth.

    So, um, yeah.

    London SE16 • Since Mar 2008 • 482 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    81stcolumn wrote:

    BTW. Brown Owl reference....LMFAO

    Just a little joke for those familiar with the hierarchy of the Girl Guide movement (my sister was a Brownie). Glad someone got it.

    Emma Hart wrote:

    I am experiencing the kind of indignation that manifests itself in hysterical laughter.

    Hey, note the asterisk in my original comment, dude.

    Caleb D'Anvers wrote

    I had the misfortune to hear a few minutes of Laws on breakfast yesterday morning, and this is scarily accurate...

    [Sigh...]

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1609 posts Report Reply

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