Posts by Megan Wegan
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Hard News: #NetHui: it's all about you, in reply to Russell Brown,
I think you've said it for me and I can move on ...
+1
(Except I get the distinct feeling that we'll never actually move on)
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Hard News: #NetHui: it's all about you, in reply to Andre Alessi,
Without meta-analysis that becomes yet another “checkmate” move that doesn’t advance the conversation one iota.
Sure, but having said that, we get pretty bored of having to explain these concepts to people who should know better. And from my perspective as a feminist blogger, few of the sites I write for are 101 sites, and that's clearly stated - so it gets irritating when someone crashes into a conversation with no understanding of what, say, rape culture is.
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Hard News: #NetHui: it's all about you, in reply to Craig Ranapia,
Hey Craig?
That’s not a bad thing, or a good thing, but it sure doesn’t hurt to STFU occasionally and genuinely listen to other people, and try to get your head around where folks are coming from – even though that might be a really difficult thing to do.
I adore you. That's all.
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I’ll just be over here with all the other elderly women sucking eggs.
I wasn’t telling you to suck eggs, Jackie, nor was I even talking about you in particular. But privilege isn’t about “being snobby”, nor is it about being political correct. It’s about understanding the way that society has ideas about what is normal, and how, if you don’t fit into that, you’re somehow “other”, and thus, less important.
Here’s another example. Yesterday, I went to the supermarket. I wanted to buy stockings. The brand I wanted was on special, all varieties of it, except for the “curvaceous” range. So, because my stockings take more fabric, they’re already more expensive, and not discounted along with the rest. As a fat woman, not only do I have to put up with my clothing being condescendingly named “curvaceous”, it costs me more to dress. That’s thin privilege. And it means I feel like shit when I go to get dressed.
And so, when we talk about issues of race and sex and gender and class, we have to be very careful that we’re acknowledging the way our own privileges play into our ideas. And that can be hard, because it’s so very natural to want to be a good person who everyone loves. And saying “wait, is it possible that the fact _I_ worked really hard to get where I am is colouring the fact that I can’t see why anyone else can’t” is hard”. Or choosing to use the word normative, when to other people, that might be really fucking offensive.
But we should. Because we cause unintentional hurt, at best. And at worst, there is real violence around, that gets ignored, because we can’t bring ourselves to look outside our own prism of experience. At best, I can't buy the stcokings I want. Or, I get called a fat bitch as I walk down courtenay Place (3 days ago.) At worst, I don't get the healthcare I need, because I happen to be overweight, or someone chooses to view me as a victim because of it.
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Hard News: #NetHui: it's all about you, in reply to Danielle,
And there she goes, proving my point about how sometimes people say things better than I can.
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Someone (Ben?) asked a couple of pages back what got some people to comment?
For me, it was a lot of things. I don't comment on the political posts, because professionally, it is difficult. But also, I was intimidated by the Very Smart People here. Invariably, I'd go to say something, and someone else would already have said it much better. And with more evidence, and having actually read a book about it. And then, Hadyn starting writing about sport, and he was my friend, so it was less intimidating, and something I could talk about it.
And then I started commenting on Emma's posts, and that was that. I am very glad I got over my fear of not being smart enough, and pretty comfortable with my role as Emma's yappy, filthy little sidekick.
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I don’t think that’s anything to apologise for – au contraire, I think it’s something to use for the good. Pay it forward. That’s all that “privilege” or, as I like to call it, good fortune, is good for.
But that's not what privilege is. And that's where my problem with it being bandied about as an attack comes from.
It's not something to apologise for. It's something to remember, and to work towards acknowledging. As a white, cis, hetero woman, I am chock full of it, and I try to remember that when I am talking to people. Because words hurt. And casual sexism/classism/racism/choose-your-ism hurt more.
In all the writing around SlutWalk, I saw so many references to "women" being the victims of sexual assault. And Emma and I tried really hard to make sure we talk about male victims as well. Others didn't. That's a kind of privilege. Because society thinks rape is something that only happens to women, and so all the conversations are about that, and it erases other victims.
The problem is, when people scream "you're showing your privilege", it often shuts out genuine debate, because people don't like saying "um, no, I don't think I am".
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Re: tone argument.
As with mansplaining, it is a thing. Women aren't meant to be angry, so it's a way of saying 'stop worrying your pretty little head over it', and play nice. It's just another way of shutting down argument.
But so is "stop tone argumenting me!!!!1!"
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Hard News: #NetHui: it's all about you, in reply to 81stcolumn,
The thing is, mansplaining is absolutely a thing. But just because a man is talking, doesn't automatically mean he's doing it.
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Hard News: #NetHui: it's all about you, in reply to recordari,
I do notice that some topics (notably the more political ones) get only a small number of women commenting.
I don't, but that's for my own reasons, rather than a comment on the community.