Posts by Ross Mason

Last ←Newer Page 1 2 3 4 5 Older→ First

  • Hard News: Gaying Out, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Bugger PASers. I went there too to have a shifty at the FF survey.

    Overloaded by PAS readers!!! Bet ya.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Field Theory: An important message for…,

    Staggering Laws. As the coach of the NZ Paralympic Shooting Team in Athens 2004 (Michael Johnson - Gold Medal) I was absolutely stunned by his comments.

    I think Paralympic NZ needs to invite him to a few sports and explain the classification criteria. What he needs to udnerstand is these guys will "kill their grandmother" to achieve if it is necessary. They work and compete as hard and as skilfully as any other achieving able bodied athlete.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V,

    I hated raincoats. Even when told to wear on by my Mum when I went to school.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Field Theory: An important message for…,

    Can you imagine the hue and cry if Richie got pregnant this year and couldn't make the World Cup? It's just taken as read that if a Silver Fern is pregnant, the team moves on and picks another.

    A letter to the ED this morning in the DomPost talking about how much of the back page was taken over by Richie's sore toe and complaining about the lack of coverage of the Black Sticks games against Korea on at the moment.

    It's not us. It's the rugby mad f*&king jocks!

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Field Theory: An important message for…,

    Hmmmm....1953.

    The year after Yvette Williams won the NZ SportsMAN's Trophy.

    Edit.....for the second time BTW. First in 1950.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Field Theory: An important message for…,

    Haydn. Concur. But any minor sport irrespective of gender gets hammered. Anyone note the muted congrats when the All Whites et al were announced last night?

    But. Arise Sir Ryan!

    They get covered if they grunt and umm...get stalked by a jock sports "reporter" (tennis), Throw canonballs (shotput), show good legs (hockey), or row fast with blonde hair (the twins).

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Up Front: Say When,

    Now, about grey beards.......:-)

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V,

    Oh Jackie.

    The first teste is always the hardest.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Up Front: Say When,

    Emma, you have glorious tits

    The Up Front Gravitar says so!!! [edit - sod it. WHEN it said so]

    How old? When you think the tattoo you got when you were 18 needs to be put away.......

    .......bugger.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V,

    Can’t we just go to the cricket and talk about field placements?

    Compliments of here

    The first part is an oldie and a goodie. The rest I hadn't seen before but could be better.

    Cricket is played by two sides.

    The side that is In and the side that is not in, or Out.

    Now the side that is In goes all out to stay in, while the side that is Out goes all out to get the side In out.

    Once the side that is In, goes out, the side that is Out is now In. The side that was Out, but is now In, goes all out to stay in, and the side that was In, but is now Out, goes all out to get the side that was Out, but is now in, out.

    Once the Team that was In has gotten the team that was Out, but is now In, out, the two sides do it again, this is called an Innings, there are only two innings (thankfully, I'm confused enough).

    Add to this the ability to hit the ball and not run, score 4 or 6 runs and not move from your spot and the ability to bowl a maiden over, without ever leaving the sporting field.

    Then you have drinks in the morning and drinks again in the afternoon.

    You have a 12th man on each team who does nothing, except bring out the drinks.

    Now moving on to the field positions, you can have a man standing in slips, and another standing with his legs apart waiting for a tickle, you can have a silly mid on and a crazy carry on.

    Any player can be the Third man, which is strange because both teams have 11 men, with the 12th man bringing the drinks.

    Players can be bowled out, can be caught, can be run out, can be caught with their leg before the wicket (LBW) and they can be stumped (I know I am).

    You have a bowler's end and a striker's end and from what I've seen of Shane Warne, he often has a Fag end, hanging out of his mouth. [ed - He can now bowl another kind of ball, a Hurley]

    You score in runs, and by the number of players that are out. As there are 11 players, you only have to get 10 players out and then your side can go in again.

    Bowlers bowl Overs and when their Overs are over, they are forced to stand out in the field, until it is time for them to bowl another Over. If a Bowler bowls an Over with no runs scored, this is called a Maiden Over, if a Bowler, is hit for six with every ball this is called a Punishing Over, and if the Bowler drinks to much and goes home with any strange woman, this is called a Push Over (also a Leg Over if he is really lucky) and the jumpers they wear over the top of their uniform is call a Pull Over.

    Now the Batsmen wear protective armour, they wear a helmet called a Brain Box, arm padding and padded gloves, they also wear leg armour called Pads, and a groin protector called Cricketer's Box (in some players cases this too is called Brain Box, as this part obviously does all the thinking).

    I hope that this has explained the game of Cricket.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

Last ←Newer Page 1 97 98 99 100 101 159 Older→ First