Island Life by David Slack

Just fucking do it and don't bother me with insane chattering...

Could it be that Outlook 2007 is a blutter in disguise?

I can't believe it's not.

Don't buy a volkswagon guys, naggingest car ever made, it treats YOU like a toddler:

"Beeeeep - Service Now"
"Beeeeep - Handbrake on"
"Beeeeep - headlights on"
"Beeeeep - Fasten your seatbelt"
"Beeeeep - refuel"
"Beeeeep - tyre pressure low"
"Beeeeep - Passenger door open"

I mean, it's all very clever, but thank goodness they haven't got the synthetic voice installed.

At least it doesn't need toner cartridges.

My pet MS message peeve is with office. I can usually aviod Mr Paperclip but I've come across this one infinity percent more often than I'd like...

When you open an office app for the first time on the machine, there's the assistant, saying blah blah blah.

Whatever. Try to use the program, that is sitting there, open. Doesn't work.

Fluff about a bit. Click the 'close' button in the corner of the assistant. Nothing happens.

Actually read the message, and discover the only way to start using the programme is to click the option "Start using [program x]" in the office assitant's speech bubble.

I always thought I indicated my willingness to start using the app by opening it.

Seriously though, there's no end of distracting and ultimately useless chattering in Windows. Microsoft unfortunately decided that there wasn't enough of it in XP, so it added even more for Vista.

The User Access Controls (UAC) is a good idea that will drive people mental with unnecessary dialogs that ask you for permission. Permission? For what? I'm just trying to change the paper size for the printer... why do I need to click through four dialogs asking me if I want to continue to do that?

Macs (since 10.4 I think) have had a similar thing. Whenever you run a piece of software for the first time it asks whether you really want to run it. It also does this anytime you update it (so it asks again when you go from Itunes 7.02 to Itunes 7.03.

It's supposed to protect from your computer being hacked by a trojan or whatever. Which is a good thing.

Except, I always open the application with a mouse, and presumably my computer knows that, so it annoys me that it still pops up the window and asks me if I really want to open it. Yes dammit, open already.

HAL voice...Why do you want to change the Paper size Juha?

I am completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning properly.

No, not really. I lie.

Un-copacetic coincidence of the day: HAL is stock symbol for Halliburton.

computing was once a wild frontier of sorts.

it's become a nanny state.

The big problem with proliferating system pop-ups is desensitisation - most users these days just click straight onto the thing most resembling a 'yes' option when something pops up on screen, usually without even reading the message.

On a completely different tack, and one unlikely to please the SPCA...

Mmmm, foie gras. Does anyone make it here?

Whenever you run a piece of software for the first time it asks whether you really want to run it.

Curiously enough, I've never noticed this on my Mac. I'm sure it happens, but I guess it doesn't bother me so I don't consciously notice it.

All these Windows messages sound annoying. They should have a setting that lets advanced users switch to a lower level of messages - only telling you if something's gone wrong, for example.

__All these Windows messages sound annoying. They should have a setting that lets advanced users switch to a lower level of messages - only telling you if something's gone wrong, for example.__

On Vista, I can disable the UAC thingy. Doing so however turns off Protected Mode in Intarweb Exploder 7 (in theory a good thing to have) and... it makes Security Centre put up annoying alert bubbles about my system being in danger. So you go looking for the reason your system is "ïn danger" and find that it's because you turned off the UAC, and then you let out a long low moan that would pleasure Germaine Greer intensely.

I can turn off those Security Centre warnings too, but it's blanket setting - it means all those handy "Danger! Your computer will self-destruct in five seconds!" messages go as well.

talking of appliances throwing tantrums, i can't believe the immunity of aucklanders to car alarms!

@ waiheke island wine fest last weekend annika moa was indulging us in a very soulful set, with a backdrop of about half a dozen self-activated car alarms.

noone even so much as glanced in the direction of these oversize attention-grabbing vehicles. despite one of them being about 20 metres away from a relaxed & tipsy group of punters swaying calmly to the music...

that level of focus: i take my hat off to them.

on the vehicle ferry to from half moon bay, we counted 11 car alarm incidents - noone paid the slightest bit of attention, even on vehicle deck.

do car alarms work? does anyone pay attention?? what is the point???

mind you - i want some of that! how does one completely immune to obnoxious electronic beeping noises?

i listened to techno for years so it can't just be constant exposure.

Actively work on yourself to remove all projections, car alarms are a car owners cry for love and tolerance...I jest, I jest.

it's become a nanny state.

Bloody socialists turning up everywhere.

conservatives are just nannies who make you clean up your own shit.

What about the spankings Che? You forgot about the spankings.

I was actually thinking that instead of coffee and blends and stuff, we could like have School Dinners like. Che could be the matron and David the bully in the lavs, or vice versa. Or is that too too conservative?

What about the spankings Che? You forgot about the spankings

therapy helped.

and juha, if i find you lurking outside my premises with a pinny for me... we'll have a serious chat.

What? You think it could be a goer?

Oh oh... you mean that sort of serious chat. Right.

now there's a good teccie.

and juha, if i find you lurking outside my premises with a pinny for me...

I had a momentary vision of Juha as Miss Alice.

Get a mac. They just work and get along with printers (and video cameras, and scanners, and still cameras...)