Radiation by Fiona Rae

Rongo vs Brashie

Holy crap, I’ve got a blog! I, like, totally forgot. Sorry. But on to more pressing matters, the question on everyone’s lips: how the hell does Rongo keep getting through on NZ Idol? I think we know why Keshia got the boot – it’s the girls that vote and they don’t vote for girls. Not so much, anyway.

But, Rongo, dude, “Never Gonna Give You Up”? I’d hoped never to hear that song again in my life. You are one lucky sonofagun. You’re the Don Brash of NZ Idol, you keep mucking up and being forgiven by the electorate. But do we really want Rongo to win? I think not. And do we really want Brashie running the country and going out in the world representing New Zealand like some antipodean Prince Philip, making gaffes all over the shop? It would be so embarrassing.

Excitement mounts (oo, that sounds rude) as we come closer to the date of … Serenity! Fidel Castro – not his real name – emailed about the advance screenings of the movie on September 19, apparently tickets sold out in 15 minutes in Wellington. I got in for the extra tickets they put on at Queen Street (which will now be on the megascreen, whatever that is). So see ya there. Also, good news, fans, Joss Whedon is on Rove on Friday. Check out Whedonesque – Joss is in Sydney doing interviews and may film Wonderwoman there. Excitement is also mounting also over the debut (around about now) in the US of David Boreanaz’s new show, Bones. He co-stars with Emily Deschanel, who was in Boogeyman. His character’s got a really crap name though, slightly worrying, but it will be nice to see Boreanaz out in the sunlight, even if we’ll have to stop ourselves yelling at the TV, “No, Angel, don’t go out there, it burns!” Nicholas Brendon is in Kitchen Confidential, the series probably loosely based on the Anthony Bourdain book, along with the guy who used to be in Alias. Wonder how many drugs they’ll be allowed to take? Alias is returning soon, btw, although late at night.

The Fall season shows are debuting in the US right now – we’ll probably be swamped with a bunch of supernatural-psychic-aliens-from-outer-space series sometime next year. In fact, there’s one called Supernatural, just so you’re clear on that. Also, someone’s found a use for Brent Spiner and the excellent Peter Dinklage, but I dunno, it better have twists. Lots of twists. And running.

In news from the strange world of television, TV3 is screening a show called Sing Like a Superstar, in which local celebs warble for charity until eliminated and TV2 is screening a show called So You Wanna Be a Pop Star, in which local celebs warble – not sure if it’s for charity – until eliminated. Strange. Why either of them would want to do such a programme is probably only known to God and their marketing people, but there you go.

In other strange news from the world of television, don’t count on seeing the Emmys any time soon, unless you’re happy to wait until a week after they are held in the US and at around 12.25am one Friday night on TV3. TV3 bought them, you see, then decided there were too many of the opposition’s shows represented – Desperate Housewives, Lost etc – to show in prime time. Yah, boo, sucks. On the other hand, TV1 was big enough in its publicity (to subeditors anyway) to admit that Grant Bowler, from the TV3 show Outrageous Fortune, is fronting Border Security, which is coming on soon, basically an Aussie version of Border Patrol. Speaking of Fortune, it was bloody funny this week, best ep yet. Good news: it’s been renewed for another season by TV3, so if it’s this good in its first season, can’t wait for a second. I went to the launch of the Prime show Interrogation, where there were strong hints that it would be renewed for a second season too.

The advertising downturn doesn’t seem to be happening in the US, where American Idol has just become the most expensive show on prime time TV other than the Super Bowl. Cost for a 30-second ad? US$705,000. Rupert Murdoch's shit-eating grin when he heard the news? Priceless.

Electionwhoring

God I hate elections. They’re like boxing matches; you just wish the punching was over and you knew who the winner was. Plus, on election night, it will be hours and hours and hours before a real result is known. Last time, I recall Chris Trotter confidently predicting (again) the demise of the Labour Party on the strength of, oh, about five percent of votes counted.

Just so you can organise your travel plans, campaign advertising starts August 17. Here’s how the Electoral Commission makes its decision about how much money parties get for advertising. It doesn’t seem like a level playing field, but then again, $1.1 million worth of New Zealand First advertising would probably give us all brain aneurysms.

But on to more interesting things. Veronica Mars is so fulfilling my need to see a teenage girl hero, with or without superpowers. Anyway, being unbelievably cool is kind of like having a superpower isn’t it? Tick them off: she’s an outsider; she’s got mad skills; she’s got a dog called Backup (as in “Take Backup.” Heh); she has Buffy-level verbal comebacks. Veronica is also as slick as her dad’s shiny bald head, unlike The O.C., which clunked along and is only saved by Adam Brody (Seth) and Rachel Bilson (Summer). Also, a show that has Paris Hilton playing a rich bitch who is boffing a local Latino hood on the side and who is ultimately undone by a cellphone call is well worth an hour on Friday night. Here’s an excellent interview on salon.com with Veronica creator Rob Thomas. Heather Havrilesky also loved the show.

At the conclusion of the pretty excellent Huff a couple of weeks back, a naughty little continuity announcer on TV1 claimed that the producers hadn’t made any decisions on whether another series would be made. A friend has pointed out that it would have taken, oh, maybe two seconds to discover that another series was going ahead, and that US cable network Showtime has announced that Sharon Stone is going to be guest starring. Of course, whether TV1’s announcement had anything to do with the fact that Prime has bought the second series of Huff and will be screening it next year, I couldn’t possibly say. Prime’s foray into local drama, Interrogation is starting in September.

It may surprise you to know that a comedy initiative is, as we speak, going on at TV2. I shit you not. They’re one-off comedies and started with the Back of the Y’s Bogan’s Heroes, which I totally forgot to tape. This could be something to do with the fact that the programmes are on at around 11.30 on a Wednesday night. Peter Cox, creator of the excellent Insiders Guide, has emailed with plugging pleas – his comedy is called Talent, and is about depressed children’s party entertainers. It’s on Wednesday night at 11.25pm. Please – support local comedy. Buy a VCR.

Really liking Desperate Housewives, principally because I didn’t think it would be so funny. Also, they’re not overdoing the slapstick, which is very easy to do for no good reason. Even the naked Susan in a bush thing was okay, because it moved along the storyline with Mike the plumber who is probably not a plumber. Sadly, no more Deadwood on a Monday night, but it has been replaced by Shameless, the Paul Abbott drama that looks brilliant. A bit like Outrageous Fortune if it was on a working-class estate near Manchester. Although I don’t think anyone’s trying to go straight. So not like Outrageous Fortune at all. Here’s an interview with Abbott that explains a lot.

Fantastic interview with Joss Whedon here which is fascinating about the writing process and the processing of writers in Hollywood too. There’s a new Serenity trailer here.

Sick as a blog

Funny how life seems to get in the way of blogging: sick child, sick boyfriend, sick me, sick child. Bloody winter. But let us speak no more of these things, except to say that I was embarrassed to discover that my last blog started out with Nicky Watson’s exit from Dancing with the Stars and given that the show is over and Norm Hewitt won – apparently a victory almost as momentous as Michael Campbell winning the US Open – that makes it, well, ahem, a long time between blogs.

So the old folks had their day with Dancing with the Stars and the second NZ Idol frenzy starts this weekend and judging by the promos there are just as many sorry young things whose mums and dads have told them they can sing lining up to be told otherwise on national television. Haven’t they learned anything from the na-na-na guy? I don’t have any big objection to NZ Idol really, I just hope that the wannabes are realistic about their chances. It’s not like winning is some ticket to life-long fame and fortune, as Ben Lummis would know. Guess they can take that away. And how funny is it that he’s in the Woman’s Weekly saying he thinks his “lifestyle” might have had an effect on Sony BMG’s decision? Heh. Crazy Jesus-popping, high-on-life Christian.

It is so over between Seth and Alma. Naturally. A couple actually in love in Deadwood? It’s never gonna happen. It’s the Whedonverse all over again. “If anyone’s happy on my show, they have to start spitting blood,” he says on an otherwise really boring commentary track on the Angel episode “Hole in the World”. Really enjoying season five after the initial “What are we doing here, how are we going to crowbar all these characters into the new set?” episodes. Just wait for “Smile Time” in which Angel is turned into a puppet. Heh. One internet reviewer claims it’s a kind of meta-comment on the state of the relationship between the WB and the show at the time. Who knows, but it’s real funny. Special appearance by David Fury as well, who is now working on Lost. [There is a Lost finale recap on salon.com, btw, but I’m waiting til I see the finale on Wednesday before reading it.]

Okay, enough of the geek talk. I went to the launch of Outrageous Fortune this week, the first local drama on screen since last year – it’s actually about a year since The Insiders Guide to Happiness screened. I keep waiting for a glut of New Zealand drama, which never comes. You hear about Orange Roughies, The Market, Interrogation, the Insiders Guide spin-off and the unnamed soap that TV1 is supposedly developing, but where is everything? No wonder it led the nominations at the New Zealand Screen Awards, although there’s another drama in the nomination apparently coming up: Good Hands. If someone can explain how it is in the running when it hasn’t been screened, I’d like to know. Really.

Anyways, folks, Outrageous looks like a whole big bucket o’ fun, judging by the three-minute showreel I saw. Kind of an anti-Insiders Guide if you know what I mean. Whereas Insiders was gloomy, cerebral and shot through a green filter, Outrageous is big, bold, brassy and quite boffy. Starts Tuesday the 12th – TV3.

Speaking of local drama, Hugo on Shortie is turning out to be a decent sort of villain, although I was thinking that when it’s a female villain you tend to think of them as mad, whereas when it’s a male villain, you think of them as [said in an Austin Powers sort of way] pure evil. He’s quite a complicated villain for a 7.30 show – suppressed, self-destructive, sexually dangerous. I think Fraser Brown is playing him beautifully, especially his little galpal talks with Toni, which err just this side of gay.

Will it reach here: Starbucks is rapidly becoming a mass-marketer of music in the US. They pick and choose artists to sell in stores next to the decaf-chocca-mocca-kiwi-flavoured slop and watch while their CDs leap onto the Billboard charts. Next thing will be exclusive content, a branded satellite radio channel and in-store digital media bars where customers can burn their own mixes from a database. The retail music industry, which is in decline, is wondering if Starbucks will be its saviour. Frightening? Depends whether you like Bob Dylan or not.

Okay, enough. If I write anymore, Russell will die of shock. Send nice comments, buy the book, I promise not to be so tardy in future. Umm, floss. Wear sunscreen. All of that.

Alas Poor Nicky

Bit of a shock exit by Nicky Watson and her partner, er, whatsisname, from Dancing with the Stars the other week. But were we really surprised to see Ewen Gilmour and his partner, er, whatsername, booted off? He looked like he wasn’t quite trying hard enough, although he did have the best jokes. Rumour has it that Nicky was distraught with disappointment, although probably not as distraught as the producers at the loss of all those women’s mags covers on which she will now not appear. Damn that voting public.

My guess for next exit would have to be Nicky’s compatriot in fake body parts, Georgina Beyer, who is good at miming and drag, but moves like a rugby player, which strangely, Norm Hewitt doesn’t. (You’d think I’d been watching the bloody thing wouldn’t you?) DWtS is weirdly compelling, in the same way that Eating Media Lunch’s compilation of biff was compelling. Is it wrong of me to admit that there’s a sad little place deep down inside that is watching to see if anyone falls on their arse?

For anyone worried about Sunday Theatre, I’m told it’s coming back after Dancing with the Stars, but in the meantime there’s Prime’s drama slot on Sunday night, which is sporadically excellent: The Long Firm was brilliant, although I bloody missed the last one (my tape got stopped by someone in the household who shall remain nameless) and coming up is a Ray Winstone drama called Lenny Blue. Jolisa mentions Miss Marple in her post, of which there was one recently.

So I, er, just found out that season five of Angel is rentable on DVD. Duh. Although – yay, no more taping it every Tuesday. I thought the season was a little bit ropey to start with, but I’m tellin’ ya, it’s getting really good, what with Spike having horror movie moments and Lorne having an Incredible Hulk problem. The episode “Harm’s Way” is, like, totally excellent, with Harmony facing off against another female vamp in the lunchroom with … chopsticks. Heh. Oh, oh, in other news from the Whedonverse, my sources tell me that Serenity will play here in November on the big screen. Joy. (Speaking of sauces, what’s happened to Rocket Fuel? Best sauce ever with snarlers. Can’t see it in the supermarket anywhere.) Also, reader Craig asks if there is a New Zealand branch of the Browncoats. I can put both of you guys in touch if you want.

Check out the video for The Checks’ “What You Heard” on the NME site. They’re destined for superstardom, according to the site, although they had to cancel a gig on the NME new music tour because singer Ed got a throat infection.

Deadwood’s Sol Star is in a band. Best brilliantly black moment of the week: Swearengen spitting, "Welcome to fuckin' Deadwood!" at little William just as he's about to stick a knife in his new daddy's gut out in the mud and filth of the street. Those Shakespearean soliloquies are fantastic – I like EB Farnum's the best – and all that scrubbing at bloodstains on the floor like testosterone-fuelled Lady Macbeths.

If you’d like to know how to burgle a house, I’d heartily recommend To Catch a Thief on TV2 which features two former burglars showing naïve homeowners just how easy their stuff is to pinch. This instructional programme is tempered by particularly stilted conversations between the reformed pair about how their lives have been turned around, how much happier they are now, yada yada, yada, but mostly is a fantastic primer for trainee burglars. Hell, even I know how it’s done now and I’m seriously wondering how the Listener’s word rate compares to flogging off my neighbour’s DVD player and digital camera. Okay, so yeah, it did make me think about security around the house, but really …

Letterman list:
Monday 23: Ellen DeGeneres, Hot Hot Heat
Tuesday 24: David Arquette, Gordon Ramsey
Wednesday 25: Paul Newman and the guys from Mythbusters
Thursday 26: Adam Sandler, The Wallflowers
Friday 27: Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls), Ryan Adams
Monday 30: Robin Williams, Martha Wainwright

Looking forward to the Great Blend tonight, peeps. Less looking forward to Star Wars: Return of the Revenge of the Clone Army Sith Lords and Their Evil Empire tomorrow, but the two younger members of the household are insisting.

Aimin' to misbehave

Yes, yes, I was so right about Hugo on Shortland Street. Ahh, the fan leans back with feet up and sighs, content in the knowledge that all that couch time wasn’t for nothing. Oh, alright, so the video camera was a dead giveaway, as was the fact that he was the only one who knew Robyn was lying about her home invasion, but I’m allowed a little self-congratulation aren’t I?

Loving the Shortie, although Campbell Live can be distracting. Friday saw both Campbell and Paul Holmes go big on Civil Unions and good on Holmesy for including those lovely chaps in his “Our people tonight” sign-off. I’d hate to see the negative texts the show got – I’m sure there must have been some – but the ones on screen were lovely too. I always cry at Civil Unions.

The Serenity movie trailer is out, but comes with a tinge of sadness – how likely are we to even see the movie down here in September? And how likely are we to enjoy the full, sexy, Mal misbehavin’, Reavers-at-dawn big-screen experience? Sigh. However, the trailer is very fun, with – as we’ve come to expect and love – fantastic lines. And, once again, Joss Whedon creates another girl superhero. The guy can’t help himself.

Ga-ga Browncoats, as the most rabid of the fans are called in the US, have sold out 10 preview screenings of the movie in less than a day. Apparently, some theatre managers were even threatened, earning unruly Browncoats a telling-off from Joss himself, who sometimes posts on fireflyfans.net. The screening is May 5 in the US, so no doubt there’ll be write-ups squirting all over the Internet on May 6.

Graeme writes to say that, yes, episodes of Firefly were shown out of order – and that the DVDs have been available here for about a week.

Serenity is so going to kick Star Wars ass, in terms of satisfying storylines anyway, but what with George Lucas appearing on The O.C. and all, it’s a slam dunk for the SW publicity machine. That story outlines George’s plans for a live-action TV series, which is fine, but George, we’re begging you, please get someone in who knows how to write dialogue. [Oh God, this makes me a total geek, doesn’t it?] Hey, here’s the review of the first Star Wars movie from the New York Times.

Have the makers of this show on Channel 4 in the UK been watching Eating Media Lunch?

Does anyone else think that Carnivàle is taking the piss a little bit? All that supernatural nonsense. It’s thoroughly watchable, but I wouldn’t be taking any of it seriously. I do think that liberal Hollywood is having a debate with conservative America at the moment and that’s where the preacher-man (Clancy Brown) and the mystical boy (Nick Stahl), whose futures are linked, come in. Torture seems to be a theme too (not in Carnivàle) – there’s been torture scenes in Lost and Battlestar Galactica and apparently one comes up in Angel.

I actually got a Letterman list recently:

Monday 2nd: Paris Hilton
Tuesday 3rd: Teri Hatcher
Wednesday 4th: Martin Short and Elisha Cuthbert
Thursday 5th: Jennifer Lopez and Snoop Dogg
Friday 6th: Orlando Bloom
Monday 9th: Luke Wilson
Tuesday 10th: Christina Applegate