Capture: The Castle
453 Responses
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Sacha, in reply to
fly-zapper? :)
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BenWilson, in reply to
Any fly that landed on the end would be sorry. But no, guess again :-)
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A birth control device?
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BenWilson, in reply to
It almost was for me, when I fell asleep with it in my pocket and it got switched on. Safety features are a priority for the next iteration.
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A device for spot-welding plastic?
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BenWilson, in reply to
You're just tempting me to experiment with the impossible now.
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Nora Leggs, in reply to
What’s it for?
taming recalcitrant nostril hairs?
or possibly for sucking dust out of panasonic lumix lenses?
or a Cone of Silence detetector.....
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BenWilson, in reply to
taming recalcitrant nostril hairs?
It does cut through hair like a hot knife through butter. Skin is a little slower, it might take a second to burn a nostril ring hole.
or possibly for sucking dust out of panasonic lumix lenses?
That's very specific. A pet hate?
or a Cone of Silence detetector.....
Yes, if you touched the cat with this in there, and didn't hear what the cat had to say about it, it's a genuine cone of silence.
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Ian Dalziel, in reply to
Branded...
What’s it for?
Pokerwork? (aka pyrography)
ie: etching / mark making with heat,
that's what I fink dat wotsit's for... -
BenWilson, in reply to
It could do that, certainly. So long as you only needed it for a few minutes. It chews the batteries up fast.
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JacksonP, in reply to
What’s it for?
Heating water for coffee?
In other news, I give up… ;-)
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Jacob's ladder. It makes sparks like a mini taser?
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For signalling alien spaceships?
I also give up ..... Inventive Ben
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Feels like a let down, I thought it was obvious. It's a lighter, for pipes and fireworks, invented one Guy Fawkes years ago, and forgotten. Found in a drawer, still working fine. But the other uses you guys suggested were much more interesting. Pipes have always been annoying things to light because the bowl points down, hence the hooked end.
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I’ve been here long enough that I can and do bore colleagues with stories of when these newer castles were holes in the ground. Not sure what that dormant electronic signboard is supposed to display...
And that grounded flying saucer cum Olympic badminton gym again. Maybe one day in the distant future they'll take the Beijing 2008 signs down, but I doubt it. It's not that great a piece of architecture, but there's something mesmerising about it, I find.
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Islander, in reply to
Pipes have always been annoying things to light because the bowl points down,
Dear Ben – as pipe smoker for nearly 50 years*, may I say pipes are very easy to light?
It’s how your tobacco is tamped!Your tobacco may be dense, with lots of additives – or not.Maybe it’s threadcut Virginia. But! Pack it in too hard- it doesnt matter about the bowl shape (and frankly, calabash bowl styles would disprove your theory)- it’ll be hard to light…
BUT! As a firework lighter- yesss!
I’d buy one right now!*I started smoking my uncle Bill's cigarillos when I was 12. 2 years later, I started smoking one of my grand-dad's pipes...
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Chris Waugh, in reply to
As a firework lighter
Cigarettes are surprisingly useful for that. They don't fear wind and they stay lit for quite a long time. Only trouble is getting the cigarette's lit, but that's 2 minutes of yuk needed to get the new year's fireworks going.
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Islander, in reply to
Agreed Chris - but I've never smoked cigarettes and would hate to contaminate my thrice yearly cigars...
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BenWilson, in reply to
It’s how your tobacco is tamped!
Tobacco smokers are well catered for on the convenience front. But unprocessed medicinal herbs don't burn so well, and the smokers find themselves having to light practically every puff, inhaling the byproducts of butane or alcohol combustion in the process. The lighters get hot and uncomfortable to hold, especially upside down, and striking them can become difficult. The huge flame is overkill if only small puffs are desired, so the smoke itself is much less hot, and there is less wastage between puffs.
A small side effect is that the glowing end is far less noticeable than a sparking flash and a big flame, and switching it on and off is soundless, so if you're trying to have a peaceful smoke at night without being noticed, it's good for that.
I was actually trying to invent a portable, quick, low volume vaporizer as an even healthier alternative, the lighter came as an afterthought.
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Ian Dalziel, in reply to
50 Shades of Ash...
Smokin' tales of butts, fags 'n' fugs!I started smoking my uncle Bill’s cigarillos when I was 12.
2 years later, I started smoking one of my grand-dad’s pipes…This has my vote for Best Opening Line
of a potential mega-selling
homegrown franchise!!The Cigarette Card explorations
of a coast-hoppin', culture-crossin',
white-baitin' 'n' cussin' words-worthy!
With this simple premise Puff-On Books was born!
The age of the Roman d'Fumier was here...
part papered, always
beautifully bowled...
things were rolling,
Zig Zag - Helter Skelter
This reeks of a slow burner
but, someone could make a wad!I'll plug on...
The following titles are still available:
Burnt Fingers ...
Hot Tampered...
Forever Ember...
Vanilla Flake...
Vapid Vapors Victorious...
Capstan Courageous!
Piped Aboard...
Going Through a Brier Patch...
Coarse Shag!and of course not forgetting the cross-genre potential:
The Happy Hookah! Adult
A Maiden Over Bowled Cricket memoir
Foxed and Smoulder (the Ex-Files) Paranormal
Drag on, the Magic Puff... Supernatural
Suck my Butt... Vampire Dram-Com
Nightshade - Quantum of Solanaceae... Bond age?
Nicotine Age Rebellion... Young Adult
The Meerschaum Vapors... Steam Punk
The Tampa Chronicles, Packing Heat... Florid Noir
Humidor or Cuspidor: Kept on the Spit... even Floridder NoirI see a series of 48 (or some similar Imperial Number)
cigarette cards - in a tin (or perhaps an album
or just a rubber band or shoelace around them)
Collaged coloured fronts - boot black backs
all aromatically suffused with the miasmic
nasal nightshades redolent of a good fug!As I've said before; "Set your phrases to stun!"
as we Cloud Source a modern artefact...Now for some breakfast!
Yrs
Sol Petre
The Pipes, The Pipes...
He does go on... -
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