Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: How's that working out for you? Being clever?

445 Responses

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  • Sacha, in reply to Hadyn Green,

    actually wondered if he'd had a stroke

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19686 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Moa beer try the opposite approach to cash in on RWC. No more charming.

    Simply post on the Moa Beer Facebook page (before kick-off on Friday 9 September) the number of points you think Dan Carter will score during the RWC* and then match every point with a sexual encounter during the same period. If you get the number right and match the scoring then Moa Beer will reward you with a case of Moa 1.5L magnums.

    For example if you guess 64 points, Dan scores 64 points and you score 64 sexual encounters, you will then score a case of Moa 1.5L magnums.

    This campaign will be supported by Moa branded anti abstinence condoms (pictured below) and the following (unconfirmed) promotional lines:

    - SLIP THROUGH THE GAP
    - SLOT ONE BETWEEN THE STICKS
    - SCORE IN THE CORNER
    - GET OVER THE LINE
    - GET RIGHT IN BEHIND THE TEAM

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19686 posts Report Reply

  • mark taslov,

    They cancelled the sheep run, kept the docking ring, and prescribe abstinence. Hazardous.

    Te Ika-a-Māui • Since Mar 2008 • 2281 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    another alarming vision failure...
    I've just read that Tom Cruise is going to play Lee Child's Jack Reacher...
    I'm thinking John Travolta maybe.... others suggest Brad Thorne,
    an unknown with presence would be best...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7889 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green, in reply to Tom Beard,

    an expression of a deep strain of sex-negativity in our culture. Sex is frivolous, a temptation, a distraction from the serious business of ... well, of watching men stick their heads between other men's thighs,

    I'm with you right up to the end. I think that NZ does seem to have an odd sex-negative attitude (despite us being quite a liberal nation on most, but not all, sexual issues). But rugby has never been at odds to sex. There's the old joke about players having to "save it up" for after the game, but that's not particular to rugby.

    In Invictus the captain, Francois Pienaar (played by Matt Damon) is constantly sneaking his wife into his hotel room for a sly one before the game. Dan Carter is on underwear billboards because he is generally considered a bit of a hottie.

    To mix the two in a negative fashion is weird and it doesn't fit.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    Must be my relentless negativity.

    yeah, it is.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to Hadyn Green,

    yeah, it is.

    That's the thing, though, right: if the RWC is really going to be as much fun as we're relentlessly told it will be, why do they need to represent participation as either a form of military service or abstinence from sex?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth Ward,

    Did someone say Doctor Who is about to start up the second half of the season again?!

    (Way way more important than yet-another-ad)

    Auckland, NZ • Since Mar 2007 • 1727 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Hadyn Green,

    Or not.
    Quite a large proportion of ANZers keep in the forefront of our minds- the vast amounts of – probably wasted monies-
    spent on crap ; consider how many years it is going to take to pay for ill-advised (with a lot of the financial details warped or hidden) stadia – the fucking FB stadium in Dunedin anyone? Going to part of my rates bill until I die))
    and
    where those monies, in these increasingly stringent financial times, could’ve been better used.
    Yours, A Relentlessly Negative Coaster.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Tap into the energy that we all have, that fuels our (slightly masochistic) belief that we will win again, despite the All Blacks traditional quadrennial "loss at a very important stage tournament".

    Isn't it enough to just want them to win, rather than the slightly irrational requirement for belief that they will win. I don't believe they will. It's a big ask, which is something a lot of kiwis don't get. Winning any international tournament against stiff opposition is highly unlikely, even for the favorite. Even if the All Blacks had a 90% chance of winning against all opposing teams, there's less than a 50% chance of stringing 7 wins in a row together. If they have a 60% chance of beating the Wallabies, and the same for the Springboks, then they have only a 36% chance of beating them both.

    All that being the favourite means is that you have a higher chance than everyone else. But it could still be a very small chance. I could buy ten thousand lotto tickets this week, making me the favorite to win Division one, but it's still going to be unlikely.

    The "traditional quadrennial "loss at a very important stage tournament"" happens to every team that doesn't actually win the tournament, every time.

    This whole business of claiming there's something defective about the All Blacks because they haven't won the World Cup more than once is just silly. Most teams haven't even won it once. Only 2 teams have won it twice. The French have beaten the odds-on favorites (the All Blacks) twice in the World Cup, and yet never won it. In 95, the Wallabies didn't even make the semi-finals.

    This volatility is exactly what makes the RWC exciting. The upsets are dramatic, and the chances of any of the top teams of getting through are quite close to each other. The hulking dominance of the All Blacks in international rugby is all part of the drama - virtually everyone I know of outside of a team competing wants them to win, knows they're an awesome team, great to watch, and feels compassion when they lose. That's what the tournament is about, IMHO.

    But I'd still like it if we won.

    At an almost equal level of feeling, I would like one of the Pacific Island teams to make the semi-finals. I'd love it if Japan could win another game.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10633 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    @ Kate Hannah. If you are coming to the Wales vs Samoa at the Waikato Stadium and need a place to stay, we would be happy to provide (gratis, of course)

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2539 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Or anyone else on PA, for that matter. We have tkts for ABs vs Japan.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2539 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    why do they need to represent participation as either a form of military service or abstinence from sex?

    Because "they" are not very good at marketing?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Kate Hannah, in reply to Geoff Lealand,

    happy to provide

    ah the lovely PAS community! Thanks for the offer Geoff: I'm a Hamilton girl (though the parentals have moved out to Raglan) so we will not be short of places to stay! In fact, I studied down the hall from your office probably - if the English department & the Screen & Media department are still up there in IJK block. Am looking forward to a Waikato Stadium rugby experience actually, given that the only other live rugby game I've ever been to was Otago vs the Boks at Carisbrook in 1995. We're in the cheap seats; ninety-year old nana is going all out with the best seats in the house so the whole crowd will be able to hear her rousing 'Land of our Fathers.'

    Auckland • Since Mar 2010 • 107 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green, in reply to Geoff Lealand,

    We have tkts for ABs vs Japan

    I am on the wait list for that one.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to BenWilson,

    Winning any international tournament against stiff opposition is highly unlikely, even for the favorite.

    After that first full stadium Eden Park test I think it was Conrad Smith said just having a crowd that size vocally in your favour made a difference after years of always being at someone else's big home ground.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19686 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes, in reply to Sacha,

    you're thinking of fruit and veges :)

    Got Milk?

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Sacha,

    Sure, but don't forget that to win the World Cup you have to string three in a row against a selection from the top 7 teams in the world, each better than the last, after having won or come second in your pool. Every chance of losing compounds up towards the end result of a win being unlikely.

    As you get closer to the final the overall chances get better, even though the chance of winning each game actually gets less.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10633 posts Report Reply

  • Biobbs, in reply to BenWilson,

    This whole business of claiming there's something defective about the All Blacks because they haven't won the World Cup more than once is just silly. Most teams haven't even won it once. Only 2 teams have won it twice. The French have beaten the odds-on favorites (the All Blacks) twice in the World Cup, and yet never won it. In 95, the Wallabies didn't even make the semi-finals.

    You and your relentlessly negative common sense, spoiling everyone else's masochism :-)

    The River Mouth, Denmark • Since Jan 2011 • 114 posts Report Reply

  • Samuel Scott,

    I am excited about the world cup and watching ALL the games. I just find it hard to get excited about Telecom, or Sky, or ANZ, or jerseys, or giant rugby balls etc.

    The rugby, the atmosphere on the streets are much palatable.

    (actually, in truth I am 100% suckered in by the white steinlarger cans... I will buy that shit)

    South Wellington • Since Feb 2008 • 315 posts Report Reply

  • Grant McDougall,

    It is a mediocre advert, simple as that. It is embarassing and inept. It is utterly devoid of any humour, regardless of what Telecom may claim. It will serve only to make Telecom look like klutzs as much as they did in their network problems last year.

    Also, both Close Up and Campbell Live had the same Telecom guy on at the same time, but both claimed to be "live". Which of them was lying ?

    Dunedin • Since Dec 2006 • 759 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard, in reply to Hadyn Green,

    I’m with you right up to the end.

    That would be frustrating for you.

    Ahem.

    I agree that attitudes are mixed and confused, but the whole abstinence thing is based on the idea that sex is a precious, limited commodity that has to be rationed. Abstaining from "indulging" in it is seen as a virtue in itself, as well as shoring up "manly energies" for the battle. All very 19th Century.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to Hadyn Green,

    Because “they” are not very good at marketing?

    Another way of looking at it is that the tournament is being marketed - for whatever reason, I don't want to get all Lacanian on your collective arses - as something utterly joyless. The only people who are promoting fun are those in the business of selling alcohol, but then they always do.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Clarke,

    So this wasn't a campaign to prevent someone ending up in bed with an All Black?

    -36.76, 174.61 or thereab… • Since Nov 2006 • 164 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Sacha,

    Moa beer try the opposite approach

    Yeah, I expect Moa to be embarrassing douches.

    It is a mediocre advert, simple as that. It is embarassing and inept.

    Yeah, not offended, it's just so crushingly lame.

    The Crowd Goes Wild did suggest that it's kind of like the 40-hour Famine. During which you're allowed barley sugars... Long sleazy metaphor short, I'd like to see Back in Black asked some very searching and precise questions about what "counts" and what doesn't.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

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