Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: I'm not a "f***ing cyclist". I'm Ruby's daddy, on a bike

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  • Lilith __,

    Here’s a little bit of fun for all the cyclists:

    http://www.youtube.com/v/Rx9SIyFMfcY

    who knew riding exercycles could be so tricky? :-)

    [Hmm, link’s not embedding, I wonder why?]

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3895 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    Te Herald shows its balance and fairness by publishing its third anti-cyclist rant in a row - but it's OK, Mike Hosking is a cyclist as well as a V8 driver, so he's allowed to be smugly stupid.

    But the cycling fraternity have done themselves no good this week.

    They sound like an up-market trade union; a lycra-wearing grievance society.

    They want rights. They complain. They moan of unfairness and in doing that so starts another tedious debate about behaviour and education.

    Let's put it bluntly: If you're so thick you can't look in your rear-vision mirror before you open your car door, education isn't going to help.

    If you're that fat, bald man with the bad attitude behind the wheel who honks and flips the bird, education isn't going to help.

    Equally, if you're that cyclist with the lycra, thinking you're Alberto Contador, riding three abreast because "that's your right"; education isn't going to help, either.

    Of course we'd solve all the problems if our roads were wider, there were barriers between bikes and cars, if we had cycleways the length of the country, if the cycleways we did have didn't double as carparks and bus lanes.

    But we don't, and we're not going to. Therefore the debate is pointless. Talking about education is what you talk about when you can't think of anything tangible or realistic by way of a solution.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • recordari,

    Let's put it bluntly: If you're so thick you can't look in your rear-vision mirror before you open your car door, education isn't going to help.

    If you're that fat, bald man with the bad attitude behind the wheel who honks and flips the bird, education isn't going to help.

    Equally, if you're that cyclist with the lycra, thinking you're Alberto Contador, riding three abreast because "that's your right"; education isn't going to help, either.

    Is it 'how many people can we offend in three sentences' week?

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    So exactly what is Mike Hosking's near-infallible technique for avoiding getting killed on a bike? Or is it a waste of time for him to educate us numbskulls on that score?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    I registered my disappointment as mildly as possible in a letter - which hopefully won't be too mangled if it does make it into print.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to Sam F,

    So exactly what is Mike Hosking’s near-infallible technique for avoiding getting killed on a bike?

    "On my bike I stay out of the way, and five years on I am still unscathed and at least part of that is because, on the road, I know my place."

    As always, his place in Granny's stable of scolds would seem to be justified by nurturing whatever cankers in the public breast happen to catch his attention.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    “On my bike I stay out of the way, and five years on I am still unscathed and at least part of that is because, on the road, I know my place.”

    Which is not a technique, because the great dilemma of cycling in Auckland seems to be working out what your place is - hard to go anywhere without someone complaining you're a danger to yourself or others.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • JackElder,

    On my bike I stay out of the way,

    Indeed. And for infallible investment advice, I recommend following the related advice: buy low, sell high. You can't go wrong.

    Anyone not following either bit of advice has only themselves to blame, frankly.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 709 posts Report

  • Jolisa,

    Meanwhile, in the civilised world, dedicated bicycle highways. Imagine!

    Roehl is not content with making life easier for Copenhagen's inner-city cyclists: he wants to get suburbanites out of their cars and onto two wheels as well.

    His goal is to hike the percentage of suburban commuters cycling to and from the city from the 37 percent it is today to over 50 percent by 2015.

    Within the city, 55 percent of all commuters already travel by bike, according to the municipality.

    Copenhagen's bike highways of tomorrow will be dotted with pit stops where it will be possible to pump up tyres, fix a chain and have a drink of water, Roehl says.

    And synchronised traffic lights prioritising bicycles over cars will bring riders from the suburbs into Copenhagen "quickly and safely," he says.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report

  • Ross Mason,

    Has anyone done any looky looky at streets around Auckland that might be able to give an "easy" route across, through and around the city? That is, some second tier streets that might mean a bit of diversion but eliminate the main routes? When they DO hit the main arterials it might be useful to "impose" very frequent crossings for bikes to keep cycle flow going. I have been lookin intently at Wellington and the Hutt for something similar.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Jolisa,

    You know, Ross, I reckon if we dynamically geo-tag a few cycle-commuters (and any kids who bike to school, if there still are any), we'd quickly discover some well-established "desire paths" through the quieter streets. I know when I was a regular biker to school and varsity, I pretty quickly discovered which way was not just the most direct but the least nerve-wracking.

    (Pizza delivery guys have a similarly expedient mental map of the city, which might coincide closely with cyclists' routes -- or might be exactly the streets cyclists would want to avoid, lest they get pizza-ed. Ask my brother Greg how I know this!)

    Then we can paint those bike-happy streets green, publish maps thereof, and, as you say, install proper crossings for bikes at the main arteries.

    There's this sort of thing, too: the UK cycle journey planner, and this Cambridge-specific one. We have the technology! We have the hive-mind! Let's use 'em.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report

  • stever@cs.waikato.ac.nz, in reply to Jolisa,

    If you have an iPhone (or something similar) get endomondo and compile your own routes, then publish them.

    Works really well! It'll estimate your calories, height, distance travelled, average speed too.

    Hamilton • Since Nov 2006 • 73 posts Report

  • recordari,

    I read through as many of the comments on Hosking's article as I could stomach. Was kind of surprised by how many supporters he got, but then we live in a car dominated region, so guess not too unexpected.

    What Jolisa said, re a civilised society supporting cycling, or more broadly, any other modes of transport than cars. Is it too late for Auckland? Or just Aucklanders?

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • David Hood,

    This throwable magnet design strikes me as a bad idea in practise, as any situation I would want to throw one I'm going to need both hands to steer and all my attention on the environment. Though in stop-start traffic I guess you might catch up with someone who nearly bowled you.

    Dunedin • Since May 2007 • 1445 posts Report

  • Sam F, in reply to David Hood,

    I hardly think public opinion concerning people on bikes is going to improve if they get into the habit of throwing things at cars, magnetic or not.

    It won't be immediately obvious to a driver who's just heard something go thunk onto their car that it's a non-damaging and innocuously worded magnet. If they didn't realise that they nearly hit the magnet-thrower earlier, they'll just be surprised and pissed off - and if they did nearly hit the magnet-thrower through malice they may have just gotten all the excuse they think they need to have another go.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • Joe Wylie,

    I hardly think public opinion concerning people on bikes is going to improve if they get into the habit of throwing things at cars, magnetic or not.

    Once upon a time the Herald ran a piece on the problem people that lifeguards had to deal with on Auckland’s West Coast beaches. The real doozy was a guy who knowingly refused to swim between the flags, and justified it by invoking his status as a cyclist. Because he got it all the time from motorists he wasn’t going to take shit from lifeguards.

    Easy to picture a guy like that printing out death threats on sheets of fridge-magnet media

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    Easy to picture a guy like that printing out death threats on sheets of fridge-magnet media

    I imagine him swimming furiously along and pinning them to fleeing sharks. Although they'd probably leave him alone if he just quit skitching off them.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • David Hood, in reply to Sam F,

    I imagine him swimming furiously along and pinning them to fleeing sharks. Although they’d probably leave him alone if he just quit skitching off them.

    And sometimes the shark doesn't get away
    Drunk tourist goes swimming in deadly shark infested waters

    Dunedin • Since May 2007 • 1445 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    I give about three days maximum before that makes it into the NZ Herald - possibly front page lead, or at very least jumping out of the zero-attention-span "goodie box" under the masthead.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    This throwable magnet design strikes me as a bad idea in practise

    Also, much of my car body is plastic.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • Matthew Poole,

    And the latest one is my sister-in-law's brother. A cyclist so cautious that he changed his batteries before leaving their place to head for home, because the light was starting to dim.

    Apparently he'd said previously that Wellington drivers don't give cyclists much room, something that Auckland drivers are finally starting to do. Shame it took multiple fatalities for it to happen, though, and hopefully it won't take several more for drivers in other centres to get the message.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    Matthew: that's awful news. My deepest sympathies.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • Matthew Poole, in reply to Sam F,

    Thanks Sam. I'd not actually met him, which in some ways is worse.

    My brother came across the crash as he was returning home after dropping another guest off, and they pronounced Ben at the roadside while he was still there. So it was fortunate in that the police had an immediate ID and a path straight into the family without having to make it the midnight knock on the door, but really not a good way to end one's night.

    As if I needed any reminder of my vulnerability as a cyclist, too.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report

  • Matthew Poole, in reply to Matthew Poole,

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/4575902/Killed-rider-didn-t-feel-safe-in-Wellington

    Be nice if Granny gave this some coverage, but I've not seen even a snippet so I'm not holding my breath.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report

  • Geoff Lealand,

    My sympathies are with you, Matthew. There is a report on page 3 of tonight's Waikato Times. He was a former Hamilton lad and, I suspect, a friend of my son during their secondary school years.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2562 posts Report

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