Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: We are all twatcocks now (updated with prizes!)

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  • Paul Williams,

    Are there other PASers in Sydney? I'd love dearly to use the phrase but fear it'd simply be misunderstood.

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to Paul Williams,

    Think of it as outreach ;-)

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2929 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Paul Williams,

    I will say it again - how old are we, people? If you want to let it rip, profaity wise, feel free to do so. You are in Australia, after all, which is, is it not, the home of much sweary goings-on.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Williams, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    I will say it again - how old are we, people? If you want to let it rip, profaity wise, feel free to do so. You are in Australia, after all, which is, is it not, the home of much sweary goings-on.

    Indeed, but they've got their own profanity and it's heavily gendered in my experience: you are a cunt (or as Kim would say a "chunt") or a cock, nothing ambipudendral about it.

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Well, educate them, Paul. Please. Someone has to. (With, of course, great respect to Sally Jones who is a very splendid person of Australian origins.)

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    I will say it again – how old are we, people? If you want to let it rip, profaity wise, feel free to do so.

    Where I am, I ground my whole class to a halt by referring to oxygen levels in the Archaean as "pretty bloody low". I'm not even touching twatcock in public. (Well. For aspects of public that are not the Internet.)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    Lucy, I feel your pain. I have been in the US 3.5 days and have already let out far too many unwitting "Jesus Christ that wind is cold"s for anyone's liking. (Plus, Americans think you are nuts if you walk around hotels in bare feet or collect continental breakfast from the lobby in your pyjamas and dressing gown. For someone with a US passport I have pretty much failed at Blending In Seamlessly so far, let me tell you.)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale, in reply to Danielle,

    You're in the cold bit? Come on over. I'll make Neenish tarts.

    (See what I did there?)

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Represent, Danielle!

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to Amy Gale,

    I am wimpishly not even in the cold bit at all! But yesterday I was in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains and the breeze was a bit nippy... ahem. I will shut up now. But would rather like a Neenish tart.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to Danielle,

    But would rather like a Neenish tart.

    I've never quite found where Neen is...

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2929 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Williams,

    Where I am, I ground my whole class to a halt by referring to oxygen levels in the Archaean as "pretty bloody low". I'm not even touching twatcock in public. (Well. For aspects of public that are not the Internet.)

    Australians are far far less prudish.

    Still, I found it fascinating to discover, in the first few years after I moved to Australia, how many phrases are primarily kiwi ones. "Dog tucker" doesn't translate, neither does "packing a sad".

    I also took some time to learn local slang; "died in the arse" remains a favourite and simply means to fail but usually after looking promising (like so many NZ cricket matches for instance)... "rat fuck" is another and means to betray... as I said, they're not prudish at all.

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to Danielle,

    Plus, Americans think you are nuts if you walk around hotels in bare feet

    You think that's bad, try putting out the rubbish in bare feet and a t-shirt anytime after, ooh, Hallowe'en.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Well, my 17 year old daughter just called me a "twatcock", after I had called her a "tart little tart" . All in jest but it is starting to get around.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2537 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia, in reply to Paul Williams,

    Australians are far far less prudish.

    Perhaps, but subject them to twenty-five minutes of your best vein-popping, lung-busting impersonation of a drunk rabid drop bear with Tourettes? They'll break just like a little girl.

    True story.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Paul Williams,

    Don't forget "Cracking on" and "Cracking the shits". Which have nothing whatsoever to do with each other.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10631 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale, in reply to Paul Williams,

    died in the arse” remains a favourite and simply means to fail

    Is it definitely "died" and not "dyed"? Because the latter could be a sheep-farming metaphor.

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Jake Pollock, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    To be fair, if the weather in Amherst is anything like it has been in Pittsburgh, that is kind of nuts.

    Raumati South • Since Nov 2006 • 489 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    Ok, seriously now NE-ers - shall we have a PAS holiday get-together?

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Williams, in reply to BenWilson,

    Don't forget "Cracking on" and "Cracking the shits". Which have nothing whatsoever to do with each other.

    Indeed, or a near neighbour; "cacking oneself"... lots of scatological humour.

    Perhaps, but subject them to twenty-five minutes of your best vein-popping, lung-busting impersonation of a drunk rabid drop bear with Tourettes? They'll break just like a little girl.

    Are you happy to leave that to our collective imagination or would you like to elaborate?

    Is it definitely "died" and not "dyed"? Because the latter could be a sheep-farming metaphor.

    And given that the Australian standard put down of NZers relates to sheep... but no, it is "died".

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to Amy Gale,

    Ok, seriously now NE-ers – shall we have a PAS holiday get-together?

    We just bought a car yesterday. If you’re up for it, that is so on.

    To be fair, if the weather in Amherst is anything like it has been in Pittsburgh, that is kind of nuts.

    Oh, nothing like. Minimal snow, and the high was a balmy -7C today.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Graeme Edgeler,

    I haven't read all the comments, or the social history of the Word of the Year, but surely it is gendered?

    I suppose it's not surprising that as the various "others" ("that's so gay") have become more popularly acceptable (though still a way to go), that we'd try to find some other "other" on which to base our insults. And in the way that insults based on female genitalia insult women, and those on male genitalia insult masculinity (or it's lack "softcock") etc. surely the WOTY insults those with both?

    In a year in which Caster Semenya made headlines, and intersex issues were brought to the fore if only temporarily, I suppose it's not surprising that the intersex would be the butt of the newest insults. Not sure I expected such an insult to arise from here etc. but why not here, I suppose!

    [was thinking of writing this as a satirical piece, but have decided I'm so unlikely to bother, that I'll just write it here]

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 3202 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    [Edited to remove insane over-reaction]

    So let me just say, in response to Graeme, "nuh-uh" and possibly also "whatevs".

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Graeme Edgeler,

    So let me just say, in response to Graeme, “nuh-uh” and possibly also “whatevs”.

    I do think it would have worked better with faux-outrage.

    [Edited to remove insane over-reaction]

    Have you ever thought of writing an [edit...] where you didn't write the thing in the first place, but wanted to make people think you had? That would be cool.

    [Edit: removed stupendous poem I just wrote, to save it for a more opportune time and place]

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 3202 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    What is this, the Passive-Aggression Hour with Graeme Edgeler? I love that show.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

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