Hard News by Russell Brown

Read Post

Hard News: We are all twatcocks now (updated with prizes!)

126 Responses

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Newer→ Last

  • Islander, in reply to Che Tibby,

    Ooh, we're talking collective nouns?
    There's more than a few possibilities, depending on targets:
    an arousal; an abyss; a baggage; a twitter; a slime; an annoyance, an hoor a hoot a slither etc. etc.
    What a twatcockery fest we could have!

    Jackie - right with you - I think creative and explosive use of swear-words is every right-thinking human's necessary outlet! I only despise people who cant get creative with all the good available English words (aue! In Maori, there is a very different ethos, and there are only so many ways to get yourself killed by telling someone to do something unspeakable with their head...)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Given their natural habitat, I'd suggest "a talkback of twatcocks".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to Tom Beard,

    WILD applause!

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Nah, the talkback lot go far beyond twatcockery - they's outerspaz

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    I favour a convocation.

    With that he cocked his twat, and departed.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Tom Beard,

    “a talkback of twatcocks”

    A book should be called that.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22747 posts Report Reply

  • DexterX,

    A true sign of twatcockery is that one is unaware of what one is - so there is a degree of swagger involved.

    Twatcocks are almost always instrumnetal in creating fusterclucks.

    The plural form would be a "swag of twatcocks"..

    The phrase what a bunch of "swags" refers directly to a gathering of twatcocks.

    Some should get funding to do more research similar to that done on the clan Bogan.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1224 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Tom Beard,

    I go away from the internet for a day, and I win stuff. And it is booze! W00t!

    Given their natural habitat, I’d suggest “a talkback of twatcocks”.

    You just keep getting better and better, don't you?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • "chris",

    I win stuff. And it is booze! W00t!

    Lucky for some. I had my name erm, accessorized.

    location, location, locat… • Since Dec 2010 • 250 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I'm curious, is there a received actual definition of twatcock? I can see what the words connote individual but that is not the same thing. So far, I've been using it to mean "someone who is a cock, and a cunt". But it struck me this might be wrong, maybe it's "a gender neutral word for someone who is a cock".

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10631 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to BenWilson,

    maybe it’s “a gender neutral word for someone who is a cock”.

    That's how I have been using it, certainly.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Those with sensitivities could possibly use the substitute cattwock

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2537 posts Report Reply

  • sally jones, in reply to Joe Wylie,

    While twatcock no doubt enriches the language, those whose opinions I value assure me that I'm still a cunt.

    Cunt is so 2010. Twatcock is post-postmodern and new-newagey, perfect for the new decade, but such a mouthful (!). How about twock or twack, for those who prefer to swear in single syllables. Or for those who like the number of syllables in twatcock but would prefer to have their twat/cock/cunt and eat it, cunwatock or cutwock?
    I realise this is all a bit after the horse, as it were, so I don't expect any prizes or anything. Personally, I'm fine with the mouthful.

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    I'm curious, is there a received actual definition of twatcock?

    The @twatcock twitter user (not me, honest!) defines it as "the members of the sets Twat, Cock and the intersection Twatcock". The background image gives some good hints.

    Genrally, it seems useful as a way of insulting anyone that one might normally describe as a twat, cock, cunt, wanker or prick, but without wanting to cast aspersions upon any particular set of genitalia. The general dictionary definition for such words is "an objectionable person", but the "twat" part always connotes a certain level of twittishness for me, so I'd define a twatcock as an objectionable fool.

    Not that I get to define the word, of course, since the death of the author applies here. Especially after all that whisky. The language shall use it as it will.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Carol Stewart,

    Nil twatcockum carborundum
    Hmmm. Doesn't quite work. twatcock is irreducibly Anglo-Saxon

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 821 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    Nil ambipudenda carborundum ?

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • philipmatthews,

    Denis Welch, discussing words of the year on Nine to Noon, finds that the PA Word of the Year can't be repeated on polite radio.

    http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/ninetonoon

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    I heard that, what a ....

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2605 posts Report Reply

  • Jacob Powell,

    I would suggest a useful twatcock shortening cum sanitisation - should you feel the situation, or your tender sensibilities require it - would be the simple twaco. This could be pronounced in line with whacko or loco or even taco; whichever suits your oral/aural fancy really.

    As for collective nouns so many good ideas. One more: how about a coming of twatcocks? Too crude? I think it hits on a number of levels. For one, going along with Tom's "objectionable fool" definition, twatcocks are often known by their unseemly verbal & social emissions...

    I go away from the internet for a day, and I win stuff. And it is booze! W00t!

    Sooo jealous of you all! The tide is a dram away from being completely out at my house and unfortunately Christmas budget doesn't leave me room to entice it back in. Consequently I was hoping, in vain, of a random draw or even that my starting of pronunciation debate might warrant one of those Whisky Galore bottles. Oh well, I shall taste your medicinal sweetness again in good time my precious...

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 23 posts Report Reply

  • Ray Gilbert,

    I would suggest a useful twatcock shortening cum sanitisation

    Um - anyone else pick up on the obvious remasculanising done by this statement? (Is remasculanising actually a word?)

    Since Nov 2006 • 103 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Ray Gilbert,

    Um – anyone else pick up on the obvious remasculanising done by this statement? (Is remasculanising actually a word?)

    A shrinkage, if you will?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Denis Welch, discussing words of the year on Nine to Noon, finds that the PA Word of the Year can't be repeated on polite radio.

    So, "twatcock" is officially NSFRNZ?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming,

    Apropos of nothing much, I was reminded upthread of a word that my friends and I used to use back in our teenage years (70’s) which was, more or less “cuntocks”. I can’t remember its origin, any specific meaning, whether we coined it or not or even whether it might be spelled “cuntox” – I don’t think we ever wrote it down, actually.

    But it was a lovely all-purpose swear for a 15 year old, with the forbidden deliciousness of “cunt” (we were good Catholic boys), plus a two syllable versatility (as in “Cuuuuunnnnn-TOCKS!!!” or “CUNTocks!”) with a tip of the hat to either buttocks or bollocks as you might see fit. Not so much a deliberate insult as twatcock but more of a general expletive, like “bother!” but on a much grander scale.

    Does anyone else recall such a word?

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2930 posts Report Reply

  • Ray Gilbert, in reply to Megan Wegan,

    I was thinking more about the last 2 words in the phrase, or is that just my cesspit of a mind?

    Since Nov 2006 • 103 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to nzlemming,

    . . . more or less “cuntocks” . . .

    Cunthooks = literally, fingers.

    Chafugginlooginat cunnox?

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4591 posts Report Reply

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Newer→ Last

Post your response…

Please sign in using your Public Address credentials…

Login

You may also create an account or retrieve your password.