Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: Everyone loves a quiz.

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  • Leigh Kennaway,

    Bloody hell these new NCEA exams are tricky - no wonder educational standards are slipping. Thank god we have a gummint with a plan in place to fix all that!

    sunny Pt Chevalier • Since Mar 2008 • 40 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Telfar Barnard,

    1. They've got the wrong bird call. It's meant to sound like this

    2. Tell them you're just pleased to see them.

    3. Ummmm... a garden gnome? Oooh, no, this one, this one!

    4. Sell shares in Cauldron Energy. Buy shares in Shell

    5. See #1.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 580 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    1: afternoons wouldn't change
    2: it is a trick question - the pocket is somewhere else, in your pants

    4: "I'm rich and you're not"
    5: well there's Rodney but he's a little too into ballroom dancing, besides cabinet ministers pissing them selves is so, well, last administration

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2608 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    1: afternoons wouldn't change

    None taken.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Sorry, quiz time cancelled for the rest of the week. Your questions are too difficult and embarrassing. We are in a hurry to dismantle your accident compensation instead.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3203 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    heh - oops sorry (I'm seldom listening later in the day) .... but maybe if you get a chance you could call him on his appropriation of "critical mass"

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2608 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    The answer to number 2 is the bottle.
    Showgirls is the answer to all other questions.

    I'm fairly sure that, in these troubled times, the bottle is the only answer.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Robert Harvey,

    Ah, the National Party: "Keeping New Zealand safe for corporate greed"

    Westmere • Since Nov 2006 • 57 posts Report Reply

  • Sue,

    1. i would cry

    2. get a case

    3. what lucy said

    4. the back benches

    5. no becuase it's all a grand lefty conspiracy

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 527 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I'm fairly sure that, in these troubled times, the bottle is the only answer.

    Aha so that's why my 6 month old went off the breast. The news was getting him down.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10641 posts Report Reply

  • David Hood,

    2) My wife suggests you'd be paying for jugs, not glasses or bottles.

    Dunedin • Since May 2007 • 1445 posts Report Reply

  • Dinah Dunavan,

    1. Jim Mora would be on Morning Report, Nine to Noon and Afternoons.
    2. Bottle, but there would be more than one.
    3. A well heeled gent striding down Lambton Quay with his hand in your pocket.
    4. He's going to rent a campervan and chuck the bikes in so the kids can ride the cycle paths the length of NZ.
    5. Who cares. The NZ public love Mr Key.

    Dunedin • Since Jun 2008 • 186 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    1. ... It would be the sadest radio.
    2. The ministerial card should entitle you to be bottled.
    3. A block of unobtanium six feet under.
    4. P.M. means "I really have managed to hide most of my assets off shore, are you smart like me?"
    5. There is no one, even his son didn't want them.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    If anyone's looking for the Thribb I just did about Phil Heatley, I've taken it down. Changed my mind, didn't like it. (Family is not a fair target, and you could read it that way.) Craig and Paul, feel free to restate your comments.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Oh, I thought you were perfectly in order snarking Heatley but agree it's always good form to leave the family out of it.

    Phil is genuinely a nice guy and he doesn't deserve to be double bunking with Philip Field. Still, pretty epic judgement fail for a Minister of the Crown.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    My offering had been the following (fortunately still available on a cached page):

    When Phil tried to fudge his expenses
    'coz just wine and no food dulls the senses
    Key's first little scandal
    Became too hot to handle
    Now the minister's on the back benches

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2608 posts Report Reply

  • Alien Lizard (anag),

    Master Chef - Parliament
    The long hot simmer...
    If you can't stand the Heatley
    get out of the kitchen...

    yellow card, red card,
    ya wouldn't credit it card

    Plonkers plonk - $175
    Road trip - $1000
    Currying favour with your credit card...
    Priceless!

    The Arrrgh Complex • Since Jan 2010 • 158 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Still, pretty epic judgement fail for a Minister of the Crown.

    Just from the news story on stuff, it didn't seem like resign as minister material to me, but maybe they're looking to not give the opposition any traction.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    In any case, the amount of money involved is a secondary issue. The primary issue is about "do as I say, not as I do", after making noises about pledge card overspending.

    Still, Sir Roger's "entitlement" is the big Daddy of the lot.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5420 posts Report Reply

  • Carol Stewart,

    Family is not a fair target

    I'd add that lack of family is not a fair target either. I bet Helen Clark doesn't miss being snarked at because of her lack of descendants.

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 822 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Patrick,

    It'd cause much the same reaction from me as this week's Listener cover did

    That was the "Why are Christchurch women dying" cover? Haven't read the article yet, but I presume it shows no proof in terms of statistical evidence that Christchurch women are more at risk of murder than any other women in New Zealand, but merely conflates a series of recent events into a sensationalist story?

    Rangiora, Te Wai Pounamu • Since Nov 2006 • 261 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    That was the "Why are Christchurch women dying" cover? Haven't read the article yet, but I presume it shows no proof in terms of statistical evidence that Christchurch women are more at risk of murder than any other women in New Zealand, but merely conflates a series of recent events into a sensationalist story?

    I can't actually bring myself to read it. I don't need extra sources of rage this week. But it's not just the headline, it's the fact that it sits next to a shiny red stiletto. Why the shoe? It's an obviously loaded, and completely unnecessary, image.

    Also, "Why are so Many Christchurch Women Brutally Murdered?". My daughter read it and laughed, she thought it must be a joke.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    The article isn't actually that awful - it says that Christchurch women aren't actually dying at any greater rate than anywhere else in the country but that we tend to get more odd ones that make the news rather than domestic incidents that don't make the media and mentions that the stats are skewed by us having some large prisons from which people get released into Chch no matter where they originated from.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Patrick,

    us having some large prisons from which people get released into Chch no matter where they originated from.

    Did it provide any proof that these releases added to the crime figures (i.e. "these murders were perpetrated by people recently released from the prisons around Christchurch"), or was it just something to throw in there? Suppose I should really read it myself and find out :)

    it sits next to a shiny red stiletto. Why the shoe?

    Because one of the murdered women was a prostitute, and everyone knows only prostitutes wear stilettos?

    Rangiora, Te Wai Pounamu • Since Nov 2006 • 261 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    Also, "Why are so Many Christchurch Women Brutally Murdered?". My daughter read it and laughed, she thought it must be a joke.

    The moment I spotted that cover, the words "uncovered meat" immediately sprang to mind.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5420 posts Report Reply

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