Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Confessions of a Social Retard

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  • giovanni tiso,

    He's got tuna in the stomach, which is such a splendid touch. We did replace the arms - which in the original recipe where made with gherkins - with the far more sensible sausages you see in the picture though.

    (The source is Roald Dahl's Book of Revolting Recipes.)

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Excellent! And the kid eats bread...

    (pats Salty on the head, and releases it back into the wild...)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    I must protest! Gherkins are awesome, and New Zealand sausages are generally awful.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Gherkins would be fine by me but children have enough trouble with the spinach skin and the artichoke spikes, it doesn't necessarily pay to push one's luck.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    the only times I've had stuff stolen at an airport was in Canada (twice)
    *the only time my mother was ever sworn at in a public bar, ditto
    *the only time I've been publically abused to my face in a racist manner

    Canada is indeed a very racist country, but in most cases a racist remark (or a sexist remark for that matter) is met with considerably more (social) disapproval than here. But as my cousin observed, that's just so much window-dressing.

    Having said that, the racism is never far below the surface. My Mum was chased and spat on by her neighbours (in 1945) who mistook her for a Japanese war bride, though she was actually a French-Metis RCAF war veteran .

    I would post a photo here, of her in uniform, but I don't know how.

    These days the usual target is are First Nations people - like this:

    Starlight Tours

    And yes, I heartily agree, Canada's image internationally is not the same as Canada's reality, but the cultural norms are quite different than here, in many ways.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    I should clarify however that I meant this particular crocodile.

    That is one very cool crocodile! It way more appetizing than the Groundhog day cakes we were given as kids, or chocolate covered, cat-turd shaped cookies served in a plastic tray of oats "kitty litter centrepieces" that have long been popular at birthday parties among small gross-joke-loving children in Canada.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    This whole "confessions" of a bunch of social retards really just goes to show how completely normal everyone actually is.I am quite glad 'bout that man. Irie, as in I respec' I eternal..

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    "the cultural norms are quite different than here, in many ways"

    -yes. Not necessarily better, not necessarily worse...

    Danielle - you ever tried "Little Boys"?

    Yes, yes, I know! Which is why I loved the product (they were the highlight of my Mother's 80th birthday) but decided endorsing them was A Really Bad Idea.

    Bloody good sausage tho'-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    dyan - I know there are people here who can talk you through the photo-embedding process. I, for one, would appreciate viewing the photo of your Mum - especially to honour not only her war service, but the lady herself.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Ire, also, Sofie-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I don't think you can embed pictures, only YouTube videos. So you must upload the image to the Web first, via Flickr or Picasa or some such - I use Twitpic because it's the only image service that I have an account with. Then you link in the same way you link any other URL.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Ire, also, Sofie-

    Yes as in Ire but the confusion can be devastating for whoever. :)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Picassa is brill for me. Free and easy. Not fast to upload my pics but they always arrive.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    I should clarify however that I meant this particular crocodile.

    Snap!

    There's a big difference between 'being an annoying busybody' and 'OMG that kid/dog/older lady is going to die', though. So the examples you give are more on the 'mind your own damn business, bossy parents' end of the scale - at least, that's how I'd react.

    Yes, I wasn't meaning minor infractions, which as Danielle points out are none of my business. It is one of those things which is a fine line for sure, but social responsibility isn't something I would take lightly, as it goes both ways. While it might make my blood boil at the time, if someone stopped one of my children seriously harming themselves, I would be eternally grateful.

    In fact if the person is out there who yelled at us at Muriwai as a rogue wave came hurtling up the beach, swamping the rock pool our children were innocently playing in, cheers for that.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    How you doin'?

    roflnui

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19695 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    the peaceable appearance of any society is much more fragile and easily disrupted than you might think

    24 hours and three hot meals does seem rather optimistic these days.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • tussock,

    Something that worries me about home-schooling is, what happens if you grow up without having to deal with lots of other kids all the time?

    Historically, rather a lot of famous folk grew up without contacting other children on a regular basis. They read as being very serious and conscientious people as adults. No doubt the odd serial killer did the same, making a nice change from them being the victim of constant bullying at school.

    Kids can be generous, they can also be brutal, and I think learning to deal with all kinds is one of the biggest things we learn in school.

    What we learn in school is to submit to authority figures and do as we are told, even if it's obviously stupid and pointless busywork. The ability to clearly repeat back what you are told being valued above all else.

    Being surrounded by children all day as it happens is just an unfortunate side-effect. Rather like prison, you get weird social structures form amongst the inmates that are often very violent, because nothing anyone does really matters, and they all know it.

    School, IME, is nothing at all like anything in the real world. Certainly no one could physically assault me as often without spending a good few years in prison (rather than a lunch break on the bench).

    Since Nov 2006 • 609 posts Report Reply

  • chris,

    Mawkland • Since Jan 2010 • 1302 posts Report Reply

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