Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Life at Paremoremo Boys' High

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  • David Haywood,

    Tom Semmens wrote:

    We also wore shorts 365 days a year in the junior school, but we were boys in the bloom of youth and young men at that age are made of stern stuff, I don't remember the cold being anything other than just part of life.

    I just accepted the cold as part of life then, too. It certainly didn't occur to me to complain about it or anything. But I sure as hell remember being very cold. University was a revelation to me: you didn't have to freeze; they let you wear as many clothes as you liked. Maybe that's why I ended up specializing in thermodynamics/energy.

    Glenn Pearce wrote:

    I got the same exit interview as you at the end of the sixth form and was also told what an abject failure I was going to become courtesy of a certain All Black Coach.

    The other disturbing aspect of Paremoremo Boy's High that you've failed to touch on is the number of teachers who were previous inmates...

    BTW, are you still on the East Coast ? We have a classmate in Boston who I'm sure would like to catch up.

    I didn't realize you had the headmaster predict your future life of failure -- I think that gives you bonus points! Mind you, I should have realized when you nearly amputated your own leg with a circular saw. I suppose suicide felt like the only remaining option.

    No longer on the East Coast, alas. But I spent a summer in Boston a couple of years ago, and caught up with our classmate then.

    On the subject of inmates: at least one of our former teachers has subsequently become a guest of Her Majesty for, er, inappropriate behaviour. Funnily enough, the First XV guy who claimed that he'd been "looked after" with respect to UE, also told me that said teacher used to invited him home for drugs. I simply didn't believe it at the time -- but blow me down that was what he was convicted for (amongst other things).

    dc_red wrote:

    I must say, though, I am surprised to see you put much of your misfortune down to being streamed in 3A. Try being unstreamed in west Auckland. The only consolation was that most of your illiterate and overtly violent 'classmates' dropped out when they were 15.

    You may be right. I guess my theory on this came from the incidents where it was clear that the streaming thing had labelled me as a potential victim (and I know that my wife managed to disguise her braininess in an unstreamed class at Upper Hutt College). But maybe it would have happened to me anyway -- and, as you point out, at least I could escape most of it when I was in class.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • tussock,

    Ah, school. The eternal wonder that so many perfectly nice people emerge, amoungst those it ruins.

    Since Nov 2006 • 611 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Did anyone ever learn any lesson from being strapped other than not to get caught, or that grown-up are shits?

    Not to follow the teacher's instructions

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Rochelle Hume,

    OMG, my husband went to that school. We never even considered single sex schools for our sons as a result.


    An intelligent quiet bookish lad, asked to leave school at 14 because he didn't hand in his homework - and got told he couldn't play league for his club if he didn't play rugby for the school...

    Society copped a few years of trouble for that decision - he chose neither and just got into trouble for a while instead. Brilliant.

    Warkworth • Since Sep 2007 • 34 posts Report Reply

  • richard,

    I saw what I believe to be the School-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named's entry on Wikipedia -- it lists "Famous Alumni", consisting of one guy who teaches at [a university], five under "politics and business" (including one guy with a PhD in math from a well known US university) and then a whole slew of sportsmen.

    But they final entry on the list truly seems to catch the spirit of the place. He is the guitarist for a band whose name appears to be a subtle reference to the demon weed -- and which "played alongside" (presumably band-speak for "opened for") such notables as Slipknot, Korn and "Pungent Stench"

    Not looking for New Engla… • Since Nov 2006 • 268 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    a bug-eyed Christian sadist

    These are apparently cloned in some central lab and assigned to every high school in New Zealand.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Woz at the Skybatch,

    I grew up playing soccer, which in our community was akin to being considered as gay. Rugby was everything [my school only has 3 "Famous Alumni" listed on Wikipedia, 2 are All Blacks]. Fortunately a couple of creative teachers ensured my school had a football team every year too. During my 7th form year the first XI and XV played an after-school early season game against a nearby boys college [an acknowledgement how far footy had come – that in the year of the All Whites World Cup adventure we were allowed to 'travel' with the rugby boys…]

    Before the game our college's rugby coach slagged off one of my players [a small third former who may have appeared weedy but was in our team because of his unargued footy skill…] in the changing sheds. It was unnecessary, brutal and completely typical of his behaviour. My team managed an excellent 1-1 draw against a side much better prepared and experienced than us and we were in high spirits as we waited in the back of the bus for our rugby companions. And we waited. Finally, the aforementioned rugby coach came onto the coach and told us his team had been thrashed by 70 points and his team were shell shocked. He asked for our understanding and support and [better still] not to say anything that might upset them further.

    Most of us then preceded to show him and his rugby boys more respect than he had ever given / would ever give us.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 12 posts Report Reply

  • kmont,

    SO glad there is something happening on this thread in the interminable wait for Outrageous Fortune to start ;-)

    I just looked at my old High Schools wikipedia page and saw that our only famous alumni was Madeleine Sami. That makes me really happy, I am sure there are plenty of ruggers from our school too but I am really happy to acknowledge that girl's talent.

    Apparently our school motto was Loyalty and Courage, nice solid motto really. I am very pleased that I never tried to get into Epsom Girls Grammar where I am sure that I would have really suffered but I do regret not having learnt Latin or French and I think it would have been good to be pushed more academically.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    Wikipedia lists my high school's most famous alumni as Courtney Love and Sharon O'Neil.

    Being a fairly genteel girls shool I was rarely beaten up but the cliquishness and low-level but ever present psychological warfare that went on were pretty damaging.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    five years at a large, state single-sex school.
    next door we even had a real prison!

    and more rugby teams than you could shake a stick at (about 23 at the time).

    and a former All Black captain as Headmaster!

    and all-year-round shorts from day one until the end of 7th form.

    the uniform thing was symptomatic of what i concluded was the worst aspect of this school. generally, the pupils got treated in the same manner, whether they were 13-year-old boys or 18-year-old young men. same uniforms, same surname-only mode of address, same kinds of silly punishment, etc. i gradually came to realize why so many of the sixth and seventh formers acted so childishly all the time--because they were treated like children all the time!

    but luckily, there were lots of good things about the school too. it wasn't all rugby. there was every kind of sport and cultural activity you could possibly think of. and a lot of dedicated teachers (and some no-hopers).

    the best thing about the place, i decided, was probably quite surprising to outsiders. the headmaster was extremely conservative, to say the least. but he was also quite smart. he and the other senior teachers, whom i imagine had control over teacher hiring, bought in all sorts of people with all sorts of backgrounds and strengths. although the staff were overwhelmingly Pakeha, there was a huge cross-section of personalities and interests represented, and it made a big difference. there was even a sizeable contingent of gay teachers. i think the main thing was not to look too radical or out of place and stick to a few basic rules.

    all in all, one learnt that there were good and bad aspects to being in a large, bureacratic institution ;-)

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 646 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    What was wrong with Tokoroa North School?!

    Nuffin, it just pales in comparison to the educational opportunities my sprogs are getting in the modern primary system.

    A friend of mine, after four years at our liberal co-ed school, did his 7th form year at Timaru Boys' High, where they sang Jerusalem in school assemblies. He was appalled by the attitude of his fellow students to girls, and they in turn were appalled that he could talk to boob-bearers as if they were people.

    Back at good ol' Faircol (a year or two after Stephen) we had a bunch of guys join us in the sixth form from Boys High. Their mummies and daddies had told them if they were good and got good marks in School C, they could escape to a co-ed school for their last two years.
    They spent most of the first term staring gobsmacked at girls. And their attitudes were pretty much the same as in Timaru - some grew out of it, others didn't.
    Mind you, we had a couple of girls ship in from Girls High and Sacred Heart, and they weren't much better.


    Speaking of Fairfield College, I second Stephen's comments about the place. I don't have any really traumatic memories of the place (not like Tokoroa High in the year and a half I was there). No real bullying, teachers mostly alright, some bordering on inspirational (one of whom turned up working at my company a year or so ago).

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report Reply

  • Ross Mason,

    Oh Mr Hayward, how can they afford you? You have failed Master Hayward. You failed Pararemoremo, you failed IRL, you failed the Avon, you failed ...what was that wee town down south?? And now you are failing by travelling. Oh well. ....waht a bugger....

    It IS nice to see that weeds around Noo zild got their cumuppence in other High Schools as well. My experiences incorporated Pukekohe. The same idiocy occurred. Canings for 'insubordination' like calling a physics teacher a dork. (I was laughing at the time). For failing to pick up a TT2 stick. And then all was fixed when Alan Grey and I had a fist fight by the fish pond and Mr Dacre pulled us apart. "Who taught you to box Mason?" So I figured I must have done something right for the mutitudes (as you so rightly point out) turned up within seconds of the blood fest. God it must have been an awful place. But yes, there was the odd teacher who inspired - including the dork BTW. When I finished reading the ONLY thing I completely read through at High School (The Pohutakawa Tree by Brucce Mason) the English teacher (Polly Wilson) was astounded that I could actually tell him the sub plots as well. Or gaining 58% in SC in English that was the ONLY English exam I have EVER passed and he nearly fell over.

    Ah those were the 'good 'ol days'. But my geekiness maust have been present even back then. I wagged the first 2 periods when Armstrong landed on the moon. I spent them in the radio shack at school listening intently without a care in the world of what the teachers were going to do to me. At least I knew when history was being made!...........I hated history. Bad teacher maybe......

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report Reply

  • Moira Goldie,

    In spite of Glenn's rather scathing remarks about Green Bay High School, I would agree with Bart that it had a lot to offer. Many of students did indeed do very well both academically at university and in other worthwhile occupations. Over the years we have had quite a number of letters from grateful parents whose boys had been very unhappy at a single sex school and who blossomed and regained their confidence in our much more caring and friendly environment - one parent was so delighted with the positive change in their son that they treated the entire staff to morning tea. We now have a uniform because after consulting with the community, that's what they seemed to want. It's very flexible - boys can wear long or short trousers, girls can wear long or short skirts or shorts or trousers if they wish. 7th formers can wear mufti. I think we have kept the best from the past but now have an increased focus on student achievement. And never in its 35 year history has anyone ever been strapped or caned!

    Waitakere • Since Aug 2008 • 4 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    sorry, slightly off topic but...
    i think all these state primary schools in AKL requiring all the kids to wear uniforms (bought from a specific shop) is complete bollocks.
    adds nothing, detracts a lot.
    f-ing crass and a waste of money.
    rant over. as you were.

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 646 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    ±Went to one of the first babyboomer state schools - girls were not hit(just given lots of detentions) but boys were caned - I've NEVER heard any of my 1960 cohort say anything loving about the place but some of the teachers were - interesting. They tried, some of them, to encourage - within the confines of the 1960s (because, who knew there was going to be anything different? Or else? Except every last one of their pupils!) - originality-

    as for Stephen Walker's comments above - sorry mate, what planet are you from?

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    what?

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 646 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    I just looked at my old High Schools wikipedia page and saw that our only famous alumni was Madeleine Sami.

    I'm envious, all I've got (OK, I attended 3 colleges around the world, but the one I was longest at) is Sir Bob Jones, Bill & Boyd & convicted murderer, Graeme Burton.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    Bill & Boyd & convicted murderer

    Did the convicted murderer leave the group before they became famous? Creative differences I suppose.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    When he said he wanted to play the "axe" he wasn't joking.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    Hmm my (co-ed) high school lists Daniel Loader and David Bain but forgets Mother Goose .... while the evil single sex school I went to lists David Gray, (and the policeman he shot), a couple of PMs, Jonathan Lemalu, Colin McCahon, and a passel of All Blacks

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2623 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    As I have noted previously, my fellow alumni of Burnside High School include a Mr John Key.

    Also, Hayley Westenra!

    And Metro editor Bevan Rapson, gallery correspondent Mike Jaspers, All Black Andy Ellis ... I'm sure there must be a few more, the place was (and is) so big.

    There were also some amongst the staff: Robyn Duff, the PPTA secretary, was (I think) the first out gay schoolteacher in the country and a brave gay rights campaigner; Trevor Moffitt, the painter.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    My high school doesn't have alumni, according to Wikipedia and its own site.

    The only gay teacher I knew about didn't come out until after he retired, but given he used to butle for the Spencer family at Althorp and looked and sounded like Stephen Fry, nobody was terribly surprised.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Apparently basketballer Sean Marks was a year ahead of me at my school. You'd think you'd remember someone that tall who went on to the NBA, but I had no idea.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Also, my favourite teacher was later jailed twice for grooming and molesting teenage boys.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    A very popular TD teacher at who taught at two of my high school admitted himself into Sunnyside for that.

    Also two really popular and otherwise good blokes did a bit of time, one for disposing of the pistol after someone topped his boss over drugs in the UK and the other for manslaughter after back dating mussels and a pregnant womans misscarriage after eating 1/2 a dozen pottles.
    Both were under 21yrs and I've got a lot of sympathey for the latter he should never have been convicted for that.

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

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