Up Front: Casual, Shallow and Meaningless
223 Responses
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JacksonP, in reply to
yes going now :)
Bingo!
ETA: So we appear to have mastered this smalltalk thing.
See you soon.
‘Not if I see you first’. -
Ian Dalziel, in reply to
Smalltalk? pub
Rhubarb, hubbub...
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Gregor Ronald, in reply to
What's "hair"?
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So tonight in a real life example of this discussion we learnt the phrase 'so where do you fit in?' works quite well.
Although it is not too much of a stretch to imagine the circumstances in which such an inquiry could be misconstrued.
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What would be some good ice breakers that aren’t of the How are you?, What do you do variety?
I might try "what are you interested in?". As Emma has mentioned a couple of times, watching someone get their freak on about something they're passionate about is pretty entertaining for both parties.
What’s “hair”?
Part of an English upper classes smalltalk introduction 'Air, hair lair. How do you do?'
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Sacha, in reply to
I might try "what are you interested in?"
I knew someone who routinely went straight for the jugular with "what are you passionate about". Her all-round cuteness may have helped overcome any initial resistance.
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3410,
"what are you passionate about"
Ugh. Even all-round cuteness doesn't excuse that.
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Sacha, in reply to
Worked a treat. Cut to the chase. Charming though so probably could have got away with asking anythng.
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Yeah, the P-word has been comprehensively devalued by a billion bad recruitment ads and similar marketing shite.
There are currently 1,339 jobs advertised on Seek that use that word.
Including one that asks if you're 'passionate about 2-3 year-olds?'. Did no-one at the recruiters double-take that before posting and decide to have a rethink on the wording?
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Sacha, in reply to
This was in the 90s before the word got corporately thrashed (but after any residual hippies had finished with it).
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Ian Dalziel, in reply to
Words for lost, am I...
Yeah, the P-word has been comprehensively devalued...
Just like 'Vibrancy' in Chchch, which is trotted out by our Great Communicator at the drop of a hat or the opening of a bus stop - in this case it is laughably paired with 'restore' - I hadn't noticed much vibrancy in the inner city even well before the actual shaking started.
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Steve Barnes, in reply to
‘Vibrancy’
I think that would be a great descriptor for Christchurch.
"What do you do?"
"I vibrate" -
Joe Wylie, in reply to
Just like ‘Vibrancy’ in Chchch, which is trotted out by our Great Communicator at the drop of a hat . . .
"Vibrancy". Fnarr fnarrr. (Caution: Semi-sfw).
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That picture kinda says "I've got one too"
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how to make friends and influence people...
There's possibly a great opportunity for someone who can draw,
on the Big Idea jobs list at the moment...
It sorta even sounds like it could be the graphic novel
of Emma's Great Blend story - fun! -
Speaking of...
...“Vibrancy”. Fnarr, Fnarr.
Vibrancy (sounds like Viper) Fnart fine art...
an early Joe Wylie classic as reprinted in the
Spanish underground comic magazine El Vibora...
- hope ya don't mind Joe, great colouring -
I remember the original in black in Strips. -
I still haven't worked out a way to say "I've got a TV show" without sounding like a wanker ...
Lucky that the government is shutting that channel down to solve that problem for ya.
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Hebe,
Hebe: you must come out the next time we go for Beers and Talking About Sex
Why thank you Emma; I could try to listen.
BTW if you need a non-braindead hairdresser try Teo at Shambhala, now in an otherworldly Thai tea garden (really) near the South Library. -
Isabel Hitchings, in reply to
Why thank you Emma; I could try to listen.
A couple of drinks next to Emma and you'll be over-sharing with the rest of us.
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Hebe, in reply to
A couple of drinks next to Emma and you'll be over-sharing with the rest of us
Actually I don't drink (then I can remember what everyone said) and my real name is Peg Bundy...
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Pearls before swan…
…at Shambhala, now in an otherworldly Thai
tea garden (really) near the South LibraryIn Ernlea Tce at the end of the dead end st (for cars) opposite South Library – called Swan Lake – it’s where I get my fresh water, they have diverted a lead from their spring out onto the street – I used to play round there as a kid, when it was a run down abandoned mansion with an overgrown lake with a sunken punt in it, magic place – it has scrubbed up nicely…
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Islander, in reply to
Okay, this has made me think. Everyone is, at some stage, strangers to each other. So how have you initiated your friendships?
Interesting question Jackie: for me, it has been physical proximity & a large amount of time, and shared experiences (from floods to bonfires; from teaching the neighbours about hangi, and them teaching me about barbecues; from sharing griefs, and supporting each other in the bad times… and lustily celebrating the good ones.)
It’s not so much initiating a friendship as having it grow over the decades.
This applies to some of my family in-laws too- -
Okay, this has made me think. Everyone is, at some stage, strangers to each other. So how have you initiated your friendships?
With great difficulty.
More seriously: via the Internet, or through discovery of shared interests. I would love an Idiot's Guide To Making Friends With People. I can socialise without making a complete fool of myself - or if I can't, no-one's been unkind enough to tell me - but the step from acquaintance to active socialising outside of obligatory contexts (work, university, clubs, etc)? Still a bit of a mystery. It's happened, but I couldn't tell you how.
(Of course, this is largely because I'm fairly introverted and the difficulty/benefit ratio has never been on the side of me putting a lot of effort into learning this stuff, but it still would have been nice to know how.)
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I rather like "what have you been reading lately?" because it's broad enough to encompass whatever item they actually want to talk about and because you then get to talk about books. And because if it doesn't work, that's ok too because I've still learned something significant, if negative. Like this one time, I was seated next to a reasonably-famous [field redacted] at dinner and his answer was along the lines of "I don't read books, I just write them".
I have another one but I might want to use it when I come to NZ in a week.
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Lucy Stewart, in reply to
his answer was along the lines of "I don't read books, I just write them".
I wonder if he realises that's pretty much the same as advising people to not bother reading anything he writes, on the grounds it has a high probability of being awful?
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