Radiation by Fiona Rae

19

Crossing the line

It will probably come as no surprise that television can be quite shit, but when there actually is shit on television, I think we’ve crossed a line. It came in the form of a set of doofus twins’ shitty toilet on an episode of How Clean Is Your House?, a show that breaks the first law of housework: the only thing more boring than doing housework is watching someone else do it.

How Clean Is Your House? isn’t really about the cleaning, of course, it’s about the pointing and the feeling good that, despite the fact that you haven’t cleaned the bathroom for two weeks, at least you’re not as grubby as a set of doofus twins on television.

Dirty little downloaders will know that all the good shows have now had their season finales in the US: Lost, Heroes, Grey’s etc are all on the summer break, although our favourite girl detective is on a break forever. Even suggestions that the creators could spin Veronica Mars off to a Miss Mars: Federal Agent – how cool would that be? – have been scuppered. However, the DVD is apparently going to have a six-minute trailer of Ronnie at the FBI academy. The final of Lost will blow your mind. That’s all I’ll say. Doc Jensen at ew.com is worth reading, his fun theories range from Nietzsche versus Kierkegaard to the Age of Enlightenment versus Postmodernism. Be careful about spoilers though.

I keep sitting down to Gilmore Girls and expecting to enjoy it more, but it ain’t got that zing since Amy Sherman-Palladino left. GG has done its dash forever as well, and Amy is working on a sitcom starring – wow – Parker Posey. It’s called The Return of Jezebel James.

The observant among you will have noticed that Battlestar Galactica’s second season has finally started on TV3 (late Tuesday nights), well after the season two DVD was released. Season three has finished in the US; season four will be its last, say executive producers Ronald Moore and David Eick.

And now, a new feature of Radiation, which I probably pathetically will not be able to maintain, the weekly rundown:

Sunday
Here’s a review of Whatever Love Means, which might be worth it just for the frocks. Put Simon Schama’s Power of Art on the PVR.

Monday
I think Angela Petrelli has the power of evil, don’t you? OMG, it’s Heroes penultimate episode. The brilliant A History of Violence is screening on Sky Movies 1.

Tuesday
Hyperdrive starts on Prime and the fifth season of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps. Dorks doing stupid things on Auckland motorways: priceless. Motorway Patrol starts on TV2. Listener reviewer Philip Matthews gave Moolaade on Rialto Channel a 10.

Wednesday
The horror … the horror … it’s How Clean Is Your House? night on TV1. Deal or No Deal starts on TV3. Read this after the Lost episode "The Brig". Also this. Little Fish is screening on Rialto; nice turns from Martin Henderson and Sam Neill there. Adi Dick and PNC are on Live at Yours; the latter with guests Scribe and Mareko.

Thursday
Hunting Aotearoa is on Maori TV. New eps of Family Guy on C4 from season four.

Friday
There seems to be a lot of boxing on TV1.

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