I’ve long been quite conflicted, because I know that the Salvation Army helped my alcoholic father and I’m grateful for that.
They sort of helped my alcoholic father too. He went through their treatment program, found God, changed his will in their favour, and a month later he died in a pub and my mother got nothing. I give to the Chch City Mission instead.
If you’ll excuse me for butting in I’d suggest lower Highfield or (as that’s a pretty large area), individual streets – Park Lane, Beverly Rd, Nile Street, Orbell Street all have homes like this.
It was specifically Beverly Hill I had in mind.
Can you possibly provide a suggestion for a shabby-genteel suburb in Timaru? One with nice old turn-of-the-previous-century houses that’s fallen on slightly hard times?
I reckon I know exactly the bit you mean, but I can't remember what it was called. I shall look it up and email.
Timaru, though. No need to be respectful.
Does hostens vemod have an inverse equivalent, whereby you can endure unpleasant things in anticipation of treats to come?
Thank you, Carol! We already have a word for that in English – Presbyterianism...
Pff. Presbyterianism is about enduring treats in anticipation of unpleasant things.
Have had quite a few “You must be so relieved not to have another Bob” comments from teachers, which I have to bite my tongue about somewhat.
Heh, see we had our Challenging Child second. So all the teachers thought they were getting another Kieran, and bang, Rhiana. Haha.
This is a wonderful piece of writing, David, thank you.
Aw shucks, you guys. I won't pretend that's not completely wonderful to hear. I still feel like an Internet Random, though.
We all have different comfort zones with this sort of thing, but some of us genuinely feel uncomfortable taking money for nothing, sitting around while someone else looks after us, or generally not appearing to work as hard as we could. This may be the sort of learned cultural hangup that my brothers blame on Presbyterianism.
Are you me?
Lilith linked to this on Facebook today, and it is also basically me. I have CFS. Some days, it’s all I can do to sit upright at my keyboard, and I feel lazy. I am constantly pissed off and anxious that I’m not Being Useful. I do sometimes work, though for terrible money, and I’ve reached the stage where I will call myself a “writer”, but dare not call myself an “author”.
We define people by their jobs. If you don’t work, you don’t count. This despite the fact that our society is dependent on people working for free – just look at how much free labour parents donate to schools.
I care about what people are passionate about, which might be their job, but often isn’t. I care about their politics and what art they enjoy. My mum worked part-time in the laundry of a geriatric hospital, which made her not very valued. But she was passionate about theatre and social justice, she taught English to the wives of immigrants and remedial reading to young boys and she was constantly being useful. I cannot escape her Protestant Work Ethic.
I have to remind myself that the mostly unpaid work I have been able to do IS useful. That’s not easy.
After my mum died, one of her friends got in touch to tell me she'd dreamed about Mum, and how wonderful it was, and I actually felt quite upset that I hadn't. Months later, I finally did dream about her for the first time since she died. I'd just given birth to twins, and she was telling me I must, urgently, go to Briscoes, because they had a sale on.
My subconscious is, perhaps unsurprisingly, a total arsehole.
I have never, ever had the Flying Dream. Starting to wonder if that's unusual.
So I was in a Work and Income office the other day - something you can't do without photo ID, at least at my local branch. And a guy wandered up to the front desk and started telling his story, loudly and quite cheerfully. He'd been living rough. He couldn't get a benefit, because he didn't have an address. With no income, he couldn't get an address. So he tried to kill himself, which got him a bed in a psychiatric hospital.
Now he'd been discharged, and was right back where he started. So he went into WINZ. They made him an appointment, at least. Their soonest appointment, which was for in two weeks' time. Then he can begin the process. But he doesn't have an address, and without an address...
LudditeJourno has a great piece up at The Hand Mirror too.
Hope that this will be a better forum for women to discuss their thoughts.
I'm not sure 'better than the Standard' is anything to be proud of, but yeah, I will be moderating a bit more tightly than usual, given the emotional weight of the topic. It's a pretty easy call given how sick and anxious it's making me feel myself.