Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Why Does Love Do This to Me?

100 Responses

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  • andin,

    but her heart was thumping like a punk drummer on P, and slow heat was spreading through her loins.

    You sure it wasnt Deep Heat?
    And the drummer must have been Des Truction

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1227 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    She frowned. He must mean Canterbury.

    You mean all the Canterbury team are gay?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    You mean all the Canterbury team are gay?

    As gay as President Lincoln.

    You sure it wasnt Deep Heat?

    OW.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    This Megan character isn't based on someone (or some Megan) in real life is it?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Would that opening sentence be a Dan Brown tribute?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18960 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Would that opening sentence be a Dan Brown tribute?

    Oh, well spotted.

    This Megan character isn't based on someone (or some Megan) in real life is it?

    Sheer fear prevents me from answering this question in the manner I'd like.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • horse,

    ... but there was something about him that caught at her heart like a fishhook in a seagull's throat.

    Oh, more wild applause. Love it!

    Palmerston North • Since Feb 2007 • 32 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    I am going to assume you haven't been reading my high school diaries, and just applaud your awesomeness.

    Because otherwise, you are right. You should be very very afraid.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1273 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Am I the only one who suspects that Emma enjoyed writing this ... a little more than she should have?

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    Am I the only one who suspects that Emma enjoyed writing this ... a little more than she should have?

    I'm fairly sure she's still feeling a little flushed and weak at the knees over it ;-)

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Am I the only one who suspects that Emma enjoyed writing this ... a little more than she should have?

    I'm fairly sure she's still feeling a little flushed and weak at the knees over it ;-)

    Oh stop it. What I did, pretty much, was drink merlot and hunch over my keyboard giggling to myself.

    I had originally tried to do this seriously. It lasted a sentence and a half. A friend has asked for a cricket version, which in my head made it about a paragraph before turning into some kind of BDSM-opalooza. You should probably be grateful that won't see the light of day.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    As gay as President Lincoln.

    It's knowledge , bro!

    That seagull line is a pearler! Among many.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3661 posts Report Reply

  • Naly D,

    This Megan character isn't based on someone (or some Megan) in real life is it?

    And Robert isn't based on a certain Richie is he?

    Wellington • Since Sep 2008 • 307 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Someone had been needed, and he'd valiantly rushed in with no thought to his safety, or the effect of his lack of headgear on possible future underwear contracts.

    Heh. You're funny. You should write stuff and post it somewhere.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6204 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    Oh stop it. What I did, pretty much, was drink merlot and hunch over my keyboard giggling to myself.

    I can't think of a better way to spend an evening.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I thought I detected a certain aroma of Merlot.

    "Sweat, liniment and Lynx" would be an excellent title for a rock album I think.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7383 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    And Robert isn't based on a certain Richie is he?

    Heh, unlike 'Megan', Robert was based on a person, a current AB. During the rewrites, I worked on making it less obvious who it was. Mark is totally Richie McCaw, but.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Purely out of interest, did you write this before or after hearing about this?

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Purely out of interest, did you write this before or after hearing about this?

    Wow. Before.

    "Alan's images are fantastic and they really capture the essence of what we do every day," Borthwick said.

    Erm...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    Y'know, when I saw that story, I thought, Emma Hart'll be all over this.
    So, is it straight satire, or an actual pitch? The latter, I hope.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Heh, unlike 'Megan', Robert was based on a person, a current AB. During the rewrites, I worked on making it less obvious who it was.

    Tony Woodcock?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Edward Siddle,

    can't be tony woodcock if 'he got caught in a ruck; not his place' is meant to mean that Robert is a back. and if 'not the most famous man on the team' translates onto whoever it's based on then it's not dan carter either.

    Wellington • Since Sep 2008 • 54 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Tony Woodcock?

    Actual spit-take here. Then I tried to picture his underwear ad.

    can't be tony woodcock if 'he got caught in a ruck; not his place' is meant to mean that Robert is a back. and if 'not the most famous man on the team' translates onto whoever it's based on then it's not dan carter either.

    All of this is correct.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    All of this is correct.

    The "not the face! not the face!" guy. Whatever his name is.

    From one season to the next I still forget about 60% of the names of the All Blacks. I'm clearly not ready to take the citizenship test.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7383 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    The "not the face! not the face!" guy. Whatever his name is.

    Giovanni is full of Win. I say we just call him 'the not the face guy' from now on.

    Megan knows who we mean.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

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