Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: The British Are Coming

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  • Craig Ranapia,

    In the wikilink there is mention of a film version

    Indeed -- but I'll be damned if I can see a way its going to work as a conventional feature (and with a budget lower than the GDP for a medium-sized country) without carving out everything that's interesting about the book in the first place. But we live (and die) in hope.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    but I'll be damned if I can see a way its going to work as a conventional feature

    I've made it a policy never to go to the movie of a book I enjoyed, its just too depressing for words.
    I nominate Craig as Zombie-flick-Reviewer-in-Chief

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report

  • Josh Addison,

    Dead Snow, like Jem and the Holograms, is truly, truly, truly outrageous. Even if it does suffer from Idiot Protagonist Syndrome a little too much (but hell, it's a comedy).

    One of these days I must acquire the audiobook of WWZ - Alan Alda, Jürgen Prochnow, Mark Hamill, HENRY ROLLINS among others - that would have to be worth a listen.

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 298 posts Report

  • Dinah Dunavan,

    I've pretty much conquered my fear of needles.
    Sticking needles into oneself and having twice daily blood tests for two weeks did it. Thank goodness I have veins that even the most incompetent vampire nurse can get blood out of. Admittedly after two weeks of a double daily hammering my veins were getting a wee bit tough.
    The nicest clinics have fun posters on the walls that one can focus on while the bottles are being changed.

    Dunedin • Since Jun 2008 • 186 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Dead Snow, like Jem and the Holograms, is truly, truly, truly outrageous. Even if it does suffer from Idiot Protagonist Syndrome a little too much (but hell, it's a comedy).

    And where would the modern horror movie be without teenagers who get aroused by the most unfortunate things -- like dark corners and rampaging serial killers. :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Because Ant Timpson is a sick and twisted bastard

    However, having my finger on the sick and twisted pulse of PAS, it's the film I've asked to review for the festival.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Robert Harvey,

    One of the best songs ever by The Roches, 'My Winter Coat'.

    "The fit is generous and loose / The coat is filled with down of goose
    Should I feel guilty about that? / I wouldn’t wear the fur of a cat
    The coat is black so in New York city / It doesn’t look dirty it stays pretty
    The cuffs are purple which perfectly suits / A pair I already had of boots
    Can’t help sharing on a personal note / A secret I have concerning the coat
    One of the reasons that it got my vote / Is the way it lies open around the throat
    For me the collar mustn’t come too high / Because well all right my skin is dry
    So each morning I rub my face with oil / And the fabric you see the grease could soil
    Can we speak a moment about the lining / After my own heart’s designing
    It’s nylon so your skirts don’t wind / Up in a bunch around your behind
    When the time comes for the coat to clean / You throw this thing in the washing machine
    Drying you doubt but the filling does fluff / I’m here to proclaim this coat is enough
    The length of the coat is below the knees / So in the cold your legs don’t freeze
    I’m nuts about another one of it’s charms / There’s plenty of room underneath the arms
    The coat’s not bulky it weighs about an ounce / And it’s practically void of any frivolous flounce
    I will admit it has shoulder pads / All things considered it’s not so bad
    It looks all right even from the side / I guess because the bottom isn’t overly wide
    Okay so you say you’d prefer something hipper / But can I just tell you about the zipper
    I searched for it for many years / Last one I had I tore up in tears
    It turned me into jack the ripper / But now I stepped in cinderella’s slipper
    It runs from the gullet to just south of the crotch / And workin’ it’s a task you can hardly botch
    It’s made of a material that will not rust / It won’t get stuck you don’t get fussed
    It undoes easily in the usual way / But you can also pull it up if you’d like to, let’s say
    There’s snaps as well which I don’t even use / But they beat out buttons if I had to choose
    I remember the night I went to the store / Fighting my way across the cloak-stuffed floor
    Suffocating I was it seemed / When from a rack this last hope beamed
    Of all my requirements I pursued the trail / To find furthermore the damn thing was on sale
    It had a small chain at the back of the neck / So you could hang it on a hook but it broke what the heck
    With the end of each sleeve I’m totally smitten / Ample space for to emerge a thick mitten
    If you wanna be warm it wins far and away / It’s like walkin’ around in your bed all day
    I know you’re not supposed to be so fond of a thing / But today this is my heartfelt inspiration to sing
    I hope you don’t think I’m merely trying to be clever / I wish this coat would last forever."

    Westmere • Since Nov 2006 • 66 posts Report

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    I nominate Emma as Zombie-flick-Reviewer-in-Chief

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I nominate Emma as Zombie-flick-Reviewer-in-Chief

    Hoy! I've paid a non-refundable deposit on my new business cards, and the uniform! :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • Tess Rooney,

    If we want to get artistic about coats then I suggest people read Nikolai Gogol's short story "The Overcoat".

    Since May 2009 • 267 posts Report

  • Hannah,

    Regarding frock coats etc that others were wanting, my mother-in-law flicked me this website a few weeks back, which I took to drooling over. http://www.sharpe-designs.com/dragonesque-clothing-cloaks.htm It's English based, selling gothic/witchy style clothing, and has a few good coats. Obviously someone is picking up that some sectors want this sort of stuff. If only there is a NZ outlet.
    Last week I was looking at sewing patterns (in the costume section of the pattern books) for a good long coat, and found one of Matrix Nero's long black swirling coat which I couldn't go past. Couldn't picture it in any other colour than black though. Now just got to make time to sew it, but at least it will fit me.

    Auckland • Since Feb 2009 • 15 posts Report

  • George Darroch,

    Completely off topic, but too good not to share. Should a... be a criminal act in New Zealand?

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    Hoy! I've paid a non-refundable deposit on my new business cards, and the uniform! :)

    Keep 'em, they'll impress the boys

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Islander,

    Try - ta-dah! - kidney biopsies! And - later- dialsysis needles!

    One of my family went through about a year of this nightmare, before getting an interfamilial transplant (hello, younger siblings! That was so great, so sweet, so cool!)

    The bore on those kind of needles is ...horrific. Even when necessary (as in, you die if you dont-)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report

  • Kumara Republic,

    Completely off topic, but too good not to share. Should a... be a criminal act in New Zealand?

    http://www.should-a.com/lo6ca2

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Okay, coat photo. Is not so grate, but shows how it glows when the sun hits it.

    The gardasil injection was brilliant too, btw. The nurse couldn't find the injection site afterwards to put the sticky plaster on it. But we had to do the whole hand-wash and face-masks thing, which for a hearing-impaired kid? Is not great, not being able to see anyone's mouth.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    That is a nice coat

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Who's the bespectacled babe inside the coat?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Try - ta-dah! - kidney biopsies! And - later- dialsysis needles!

    I'm seeing somebody on Monday. Talk about such matters can resume Tuesday. Ta.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • ChrisW,

    Okay, coat photo. Is not so grate

    But in gratitude, perhaps this one is clearer?
    http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/slideshow/ALeqM5hQfmxOt-sEpGdVrmohlBYg28yJuQD99ACU6O1?index=0&ned=nz

    Gisborne • Since Apr 2009 • 851 posts Report

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    But in gratitude, perhaps this one is clearer?

    Is there something you're not telling us Emma?

    Nice coat by the way

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    But in gratitude, perhaps this one is clearer?

    But that one has evil button eyes staring into your soul... and the coat is ugly.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Joe Wylie,

    But that one has evil button eyes staring into your soul...

    Only if your soul happens to be parked somewhere around your left shoulder.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Dinah Dunavan,

    I need* a close-up of the boots, they look like my kind of boots.

    * From Online OED " I. Necessity, requirement."

    Dunedin • Since Jun 2008 • 186 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Is there something you're not telling us Emma?

    Almost certainly. Like, for instance, the fate of people who like to compare me to Sarah Palin.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

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