Southerly by David Haywood

Read Post

Southerly: Lockwood Smith: "Part of Me Died With Michael"

28 Responses

First ←Older Page 1 2 Newer→ Last

  • Andrew Jones,

    Very nice piece for a Friday afternoon. Who knew 'our Lockwood' came up with centrepiece for blame it on the boogie.

    Over the Bridge, Auckland… • Since Jun 2009 • 13 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    The rhyme had been inspired by a trip to San Francisco in 1977. "It was pure autobiography," says Dr Smith. "The lyric ran: 'We spent the night in 'Frisco/In every type of disco.' To most people, it probably didn't seem like much, but I felt that it had the potential to become a top ten single."

    You know what's really freaky?

    The same thing happened to Manu Dibango.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18991 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    Very nice piece for a Friday afternoon.

    Cheers, Andrew! We do our best to make those Friday afternoons pass as quickly as possible...

    On a related note: a couple of bitter and twisted people have emailed to express scepticism about this interview -- but I can reassure everyone as to its veracity. We have a signed affidavit from Dr Smith, and furthermore, he says that if any errors of fact are discovered then he promises to resign from parliament.

    So it's definitely all true.

    The same thing happened to Manu Dibango.

    Isn't it sad that when this sort of thing happens, everyone tries to jump on the bandwagon?

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 992 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Fancy that. I'd have thought that any contribution that Lockwood might have made to the wonderful heritage of pop would have been something to do with Cliff Richard. Like, advising Sir Cliff to play down the gothic aspect of Devil Woman, thanks to which it became a surprise monster hit & revived the well-preserved knight-to-be's fading career.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3565 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    Short version, "blame it on the Smudger".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1616 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    I'd have thought that any contribution that Lockwood might have made to the wonderful heritage of pop would have been something to do with Cliff Richard.

    That does sound strangely plausible...

    Short version, "blame it on the Smudger".

    Would that be Dave 'Smudger' Smith (formerly of Norwich F.C.)? Or the character in Thomas the Tank Engine? Or, as I begin to suspect, yet another obscure Zambian reference?

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 992 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Look Mr. Haywood, if this guy can sue Michael Jackson for plagiarism, which is akin to my successfully suing Beethoven, then your Friday fests of fancy are really not all that fantastic.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7386 posts Report Reply

  • Just thinking,

    I thought MJ got it all from Sir Howard Morrison?

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1147 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    I thought MJ got it all from Sir Howard Morrison?

    Sadly, no. The side-splitting levity that leavened Sir Howard's shows back in the Quartet heyday - with considerable help from the late Gerry Merito - was sadly absent from Jacko's ouevre.

    Not only were audiences treated to such gems as My Old Man's an All Black and I Want to Cut Your Hair, there was actual joke-telling, such as the tale of the "old lady" who discreetly asked her doctor how she might end her sorry life in the most painless manner, and was recommended to shoot herself under the left breast. How the audience would roar back in those days before the stifling hold of political correctness had descended, when Howard delivered the excuse-me-ladies punchline about the old dear shooting herself in the left knee.

    Who knows, if Jacko had lightened up a bit he might still be on deck.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3565 posts Report Reply

  • Andy Milne,

    Can we get a moderator up in here?

    Christchurch • Since Aug 2007 • 58 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Done. Though I was impressed by how many seemingly-unrelated keywords our spammer managed to smoosh in there.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • Andy Milne,

    Guess you have to admire someone with the time/energy to spam a message board manually like that. I wonder if he does manual viruses too - Im envisioning a post along the lines of "excuse me, but if you could delete the entire contents of your hard drive, then email everyone you know and ask them to do the same, I'd be most grateful to you".

    Christchurch • Since Aug 2007 • 58 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    And now I'm here, I have to say this:

    But he'd forgotten that I was a fashion advisor to David Lee Roth.

    Did very weird things to my brain. It made pictures. Pictures I'm not sure I can live with.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    fashion advisor to David Lee Roth

    I had to roflmao about that line.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16794 posts Report Reply

  • Ross Mason,

    The best Lockjaw (no man can hold a smile THAT long) placard was the one when he was running around a Minister of Education and I am sure they were protesting the student loan scheme.

    "Lockwoods Myth"

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1500 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    remember only 140,000 odd people get to get into "Jehovah Witness heaven" - I've always wondered why they come door to door angling for more converts - if they were smart they'd keep quiet about it .....

    Maybe it works that as better candidates arrive along those who are a little less worthy get booted downstairs ....

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2179 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    This had me in stitches (figuratively) on Sunday afternoon when I read it - magnificent, David.

    Has Lockwood done anything specific to trigger this, or is it just a flight of your own whimsy? I don't know if he is as self-obsessed as this makes him sound, but it certainly fits with that rictus grin. And so amusing to think of him as the eminence gris behind the Jackson empire.

    Thanks for that, David.

    Te Ika A Maui - Waitakere… • Since Oct 2008 • 572 posts Report Reply

  • Colin Ross,

    Hmmm.. Inuendo ..
    Something to do with Suppositorioes I think ?

    Auckland • Since Jan 2008 • 6 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    I am looking forward a story featuring both Lockwood and Bollard..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16794 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    Stewart wrote:

    Has Lockwood done anything specific to trigger this, or is it just a flight of your own whimsy?

    I guess it was just, you know, the strange timing of Lockwood's wedding and Jackson's death. I really didn't mean to make fun of anyone's marriage or leave-taking, but one can't help thinking that there surely must be some explanation for it all.

    I don't know if he is as self-obsessed as this makes him sound

    I actually know someone who used to work for Lockwood when he was a minister in the 4th Nat. Govt. I found inspiration in their evocative descriptions of his self-esteem...

    Sacha wrote:

    I am looking forward to a story featuring both Lockwood and Bollard...

    Now that is an interesting concept.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 992 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    Thanks for the snippets around the story, David. Your

    I found inspiration in their evocative descriptions of his self-esteem...

    tells me all I need(?) to know.

    It certainly was one of the loveliest posts I have read on PA - I might even copy it so I can read it from time to time, just for a smile.

    Te Ika A Maui - Waitakere… • Since Oct 2008 • 572 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Sacha wrote:
    I am looking forward to a story featuring both Lockwood and Bollard...
    Now that is an interesting concept.

    Yes please.

    BTW it's nice to see Lockwood being cut a little slack. As far as we know everything he's achieved has been without the help of botox.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3565 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    David, you could work your way around many of our people of influence, weaving webs of most believable whimsy. Another PAS book?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16794 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    everything he's achieved has been without the help of botox.

    Frequent midwinter dips in those budgie-smugglers.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16794 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    David, you could work your way around many of our people of influence, weaving webs of most believable whimsy

    Rice pudding, bisexual women & robots was a dynamite combo, though maybe it only works with Peter Dunne.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3565 posts Report Reply

First ←Older Page 1 2 Newer→ Last

Post your response…

Please sign in using your Public Address credentials…

Login

You may also create an account or retrieve your password.