Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Sintax

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  • giovanni tiso,

    Favourite NZ lyrics? Easy:

    If things get appallingly bad
    And we're all under constant attack
    Remember, we want to see good clean ball
    And for god's sakes, feed your backs

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Phil Brownlee,

    Or the 70s version:

    If things get appallingly bad
    And we all get atrociously poor
    If we stand in the queue with our hats on
    We can borrow a few million more

    Wellington • Since Sep 2008 • 25 posts Report Reply

  • Rob S,

    I've got my wash hose
    and I can do elefunk

    Since Apr 2010 • 136 posts Report Reply

  • Ray Gilbert,

    The summer of love is over.
    So get a job, buy a car, eat shit.

    Since Nov 2006 • 104 posts Report Reply

  • Tim Michie,

    Mate!

    Auckward • Since Nov 2006 • 614 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Wow. Who were the Ponsonby DCs? I thought I was the only one...

    Note - to increase you chances in the competition, cite your lyrics, and suggest which NZ artist (living, or dead is fine too) you think should have a crack at interpreting them...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Mate!

    I'm also very fond of the Front Lawn song How Are You Doing?, which has to have been a major inspiration for FOTC. In fact they might take a stab at the old Dagg material, too, no? Consider it my entry. I'm running out of tees.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • philipmatthews,

    Was always very keen on Peter Jefferies' lyrics for "The Fate of the Human Carbine", since covered by Cat Power.

    Excerpt:

    He likes to take the long way home
    It's another fine decision
    From six to seven he'll be all alone
    So he turns on televison
    Doesn't even notice as the hour rolls by
    Gets lost inside the screen
    Watches a film about the evening sky
    It was someone else's dream

    "Watches a film about the evening sky" is a great sentence ...

    When you say an artist to interpret, I don't know if you mean musical or visual so I'll hedge my bet with someone who does both: Maryrose Crook.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Sorry, I mean visual, like the t-shirts that are on offer - Dick Frizzell doing Dimmer lyrics, for instance.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Grant McDougall,

    "Those boys who go to so much trouble
    to be Rasputin's double
    they look so grand behind the big car doors
    with the girls who remind you of weeping sores"

    Headless Chickens - 'Do the Headless Chickens'.

    Art work by Bill Hammond or Richard Kileen, maybe ?

    '"Red is the empty sky
    black is what they're building on it
    they knocked down the ivory mansion
    it was one of my favourites"

    Headless Chickens - 'Donka'.

    Hmm, I reckon Seraphine Pick or Maryrose Crook could come up with soemthign pretty good.

    "There are some people who can swallow their fear
    pull straight ahead and then
    crush the living daylights out of all around"

    Tall Dwarfs - 'Crush'.

    Art by Chris Knox or Alec Bathgate, of course would be ideal, but given Chris' current predicament, maybe he'd be able to at least "direct" the art work ?
    Or failing that, I think cartoonist Trace Hodgson would make a fair fist of it.

    Dunedin • Since Dec 2006 • 760 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Patrick,

    Not particularly nice lyrics, but I've always had a soft spot for Headless Chickens' "Do the Headless Chicken"

    And those boys who go to so much trouble
    To be Rasputin's double
    They look so grand behind their big car doors
    With the girls who remind you of weeping sores

    And please can I have it by the guy that drew this:
    http://www.markbehm.com/blogger/uploaded_images/rasputin-716378.jpg

    Rangiora, Te Wai Pounamu • Since Nov 2006 • 261 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Patrick,

    Oooo snap

    Rangiora, Te Wai Pounamu • Since Nov 2006 • 261 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    "They're making money out of money here" (Andy, Front Lawn)
    Artwork by Mark Briars and Mark Hotchin (Preferably on cell wall)

    And regarding the alcohol thing... Heavy Drinkers Outlive Nondrinkers, Study Finds

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Heather Gaye,

    Baby I'm kinda sick & tired of waiting till you make your mind up
    (you may as well be a brain in a jar)

    Francis & Denise, always.

    Morningside • Since Nov 2006 • 533 posts Report Reply

  • Karen White,

    June, June, June, June, June, June, June, JULY! August.
    Winter months, all done dark & gloomy by Colin McCahon.

    Or Cactus Cat - done by Reuben Patterson, all sparkly & shiny.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 79 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Patrick,

    That Verlaines one is pretty special already, and another of my favourite lyrics.

    This one too:

    I watch your striptease til I feel I have to go
    I hear the crowd applaud as you put on your show
    You're like some mad musician on his funeral pyre
    I have to shout aloud...'Don't catch fire!'

    Chris Knox ideally to do the illustration

    Rangiora, Te Wai Pounamu • Since Nov 2006 • 261 posts Report Reply

  • Shona Sangster,

    Goodshirt:

    When we went to Hamilton I said
    "Just pretend it's a holiday" and you said
    "Yep, I'll just pretend it's Fiji baby."

    Since Apr 2010 • 5 posts Report Reply

  • Bill Jones,

    A couple of favourites:

    In view of the alcohol issue:
    The Chills: "fill your mind with alcohol, comic books and drugs....this is the only way for me"

    And the Blams;
    "I appreciate that joke about the prime minister, i know it was only a joke but youve got teach these kids respect!!"

    Since Sep 2009 • 3 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Interpreted by Dick Frizzell "A man and a woman" by the Front Lawn

    A man and a woman,
    A woman and a man,
    Look at them lying there,
    Sleeping in each others arms,
    Oh don't wake them up

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Baggins,

    Showing my spots:-

    "She's a MOD, she's a MOD, she's a MOD, yeah yeah yeah..."

    Ray Columbus and the Invaders for those born after the 70's,
    and writing credits go to Terry Beale, lead singer of the Senators,
    who originally recorded the song Ray made so famous

    I would include Pauly's "How Bizzare?" but i like the tune more than the lyrics - go figure.

    As an alternative, and a definite Kiwi Knockout how about Sharon O'Neil
    ~~Maxine!~~

    Maxine, (Who’s that walking, walking behind you)
    You’re not the only one (Who’s that talking, talking about you)
    To take the whole world on, (Who’s that walking, walking with you, Maxine)
    But no one’s ever won
    Maxine, (Who’s that walking, walking behind you)
    Case one-three-five-two (Who’s that talking, talking about you)
    A red and green tattoo, (Who’s that walking, walking with you, Maxine)
    Eyes cold as steel blue

    Unbeatable - surely??

    Waikato • Since Sep 2010 • 1 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    This is one seriously interesting character.Love this but at the same time his lyrics always sadden me.
    Babybird.( Stephen Jones)

    Bad Old Man.
    ....
    He's got a young man who feeds him
    Whispers sweet nothings just to please him
    He makes him cool for the TV
    Makes half the man he is a celebrity
    With his swollen lips around his early teens
    In his dress he can't believe it's in his genes
    He's half a man, and half a God
    One half bitch, one half dog.
    He drowned his stepson in the duckpond
    Let the wifebeater out to make a pop song
    He put razor blades in the ice cream.....

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    I fidget with the digit dots and cry an anxious tear
    As the XU-1 connects the spot
    But the matrix grid don't care
    Get a message to my mother
    What number would she be
    There's a million angry citizens
    Looking down their tubes at me

    Actual design pending. Watch this (8-bit) space. For an outside artist's take on it, the artist who destroyed a McCahon with laser-toting pixellated aliens.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Atually couldn't resist.


    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Ben Austin,

    Thanks for the link to the radio interview with Nutt.
    Anyone know if PA Radio has a RSS feed I can slot into Google Listen?

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1027 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Ben, the little orange RSS symbol by the PA Radio link on the home page is what you need.

    And the first of my entries, from Blam Blam Blam's 'Respect':

    "Free thinkers make messy citizens"

    And:

    " ... and I didn't appreciate that crack about the Prime Minister."

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

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